Today was my last session. I gave him a drawing that I made for him, and found myself uncharacteristically optimistic. I feel like I can finally feel the wings he helped me to find. No tears, but I told him that I was sad. He said that he'd be sad too and that comforted me.

Now, alone and in my quiet house, I am beginning to feel truly sad and let myself cry. When the Universe steps in and helps you to cross paths with a person like this... someone who impacts your life so profoundly, I know that it's only natural to grieve...

I wish I had said thank you more today! I didn't say it at all. All of the noble speeches I'd prepared were caught in my throat and lost in my joy to have been able to show him that I'll be okay. The truth is, I WILL be. I feel stronger and more confident than ever. He said that I used my time well and got the most out of our sessions and now I'm truly feeling that I did. I went from trusting the process to trusting him -- for me (and a lot of you) that took guts. I trusted that he wouldn't hurt me, exploit me, reject me, ignore me, or sexualize our experience -- how huge is that??? Despite my demand that he save me, he always led me back to my own strength. It's nice to look back and see this! Even if I'd said "Thank you" one hundred times today, I still would not have said it enough.

I've read a lot of posts here about saying goodbye, having good closure (or none), and dealing with the feeling that the end is not rejection or doom, but a new beginning. I found inspiration from your posts then, and now even more as I feel this sadness (and give myself over to a good cry). You know what was really cool? This may sound odd, but the best gifts must always be unique. In our Tuesday meeting he was wearing a black sweater that made his eyes look darker blue than they are and sort of hard. In fact, for several meeting now, he's picked colors that make his eyes look less brilliant and more earthy. Last night as I thought over my goals for this last session, I hoped that he would wear something blue. I've been trying to make eye contact more and calm down and it's thrilling to look into his set of kind, clear, blue eyes. Well, I got my wish. I drank in the blue and thanked him in my head.

I know that he has had a rough week saying goodbye to his clients and I wish him strength. For me, I hope that I can apply the insight gained to every facet of my life. I hope we all find the strength to do so!