I just wanted to let people know that I have actually done it...I told T last week I don't need a regular weekly appointment any more (for now) and that I will call her to schedule if and when I need another session. I was concerned last week because I was having some depressive symptoms, but since I seemed to manage them and they had lessened quite a bit, I felt it was fine to go through with the plan.

It's not exactly an official end, as I have no idea when or how much I will come back in the future. Still, we chatted some today about how I have grown so far. T said she feels like she has gotten to see more of "me" as time has gone on and that she has enjoyed it, and will miss me. She also asked me several times to keep in touch. I told her in return that if she ever moves or anything she needs to tell me, which she said she would absolutely do.

We spent the rest of the time chatting about all kinds of stuff...politics, the state of the world, activities in my life, therapy, my marriage, etc. At the end, she did something she's never done before...she asked if SHE could give ME a hug. In the past it was always me asking. I wasn't sure I even wanted a hug, as I was struggling already to take in everything, but since she asked I let her hug me and it was a really strong hug...which again was hard for me to process. But I felt like I could maybe process 10% of it, and that for me is progress and a good start anyway, and something I continue to work on in my life.

For those of you who've been around to see my whole story, when I started therapy I was very deep in insecure attachment and weird transference. Being able to walk away happily (knowing I could go back if I wanted) was not something I could imagine at that time. So it CAN happen, it IS possible to get to that place. For those of you who aren't there yet, don't give up!

Also, thanks to everyone on this board who has helped me get where I am. I know people on here have given a lot of support and helped get me through some tough spots.

to everyone!