Yes, T's laughing at the "therapeutic" benefits of me breaking his table was more than his usual chuckles at my jokes/teases. I wouldn't call it a belly laugh, but certainly more than a chuckle. Somewhere in between.

That’s the exact reason I like hearing my T laugh- he looks like such a real person and I feel like I can imagine how he would be just hanging out with his friends. There's something that we laugh at pretty much every session, but then he cracks up laughing at the things that I don’t expect him to… like if I actually make a joke he will just sit there stone faced… but then if I’m just talking and happen to say something that he thinks is funny he will crack up laughing. A couple weeks ago I was talking about how he is always more professional on the phone and it would scare me that he might turn back into roboT. And he explained why he is more professional and then I said “well right when you answer can you give me a compliment so that I know you are my nice T?” And he thought that was the funniest thing ever I guess because he could not stop laughing. Another time I was telling him that I’ve lost my favorite jeans and boots and my theory is that someone is coming into my house and stealing my clothes, even though I don’t know why someone would do that. And he said “Clothes karma?” and then cracked up laughing uncontrollably for about 5 minutes… (the back story is that I used to have a shoplifting problem/addiction). Those are just the first 2 that came to mind for some reason!

R2G- think this is great! Love that you were able to make T laugh. It feels so good to make people laugh, down't it? specially someone we care about.

I would love to make my T do a belly laugh, but all I have ever earned is chuckles. It makes me rather sad, because I know she is capable of belly laughs with other clients. I once heard her belly laugh all the way down the hall with another client. It was right after my session had ended, but I was nearby discussing some scheduling/payment matters with the receptionist. I just feel so bad that I have never been able to generate that kind of a response. I can't give her joy like that client did.

That is great R2G. Sounds like a really good session.

Yes, I've made my T chuckle and really laugh as well. I love to hear her laugh. I frequently tell her she's silly and I love how she gets in touch with her child like side. It's great.

I frequently make both Ts laugh, probably too much given that I'm supposed to be working on serious shit while I'm there, but making people laugh is one of my strengths and its my go-to when dealing with difficult things.

Last week with T2 we were talking about something and she was being very serious and somewhat stern with me in a moment where she was challenging me to look deeper into some unhealthy behaviors. I quickly retorted back a witty smart-ass reply that amused her and she tried so hard not to crack a smile but she wasn't able to contain it. It was really adorable watching her pull her lips in towards her mouth in an effort to hide her smile and even more adorable when the smile broke through and and she wasn't able to stop herself from laughing no matter how hard she tried to be serious. I took immense pleasure in watching her unsuccessfully remain serious despite her greatest effort not to laugh.

I frequently make T1 belly laugh. Sometimes I feel like she should be paying ME for the comedy I provide her, though lately things have been tense and I have been wanting more out of my therapy and I've stopped putting on a stand-up comedy show every time we talk. I almost think she preferred it when I entertained her with my humor.

As I think about it, the more joking we do together, the more intimate (good, safe, familiar sort of intimacy) I feel in that relationship. He feels safe to tease and joke and so do I. We can bring a smile or laugh to each other. Sometimes, he is even able to break me out of a very dark place. It's a real blessing to share that with him.

I don't think I've ever made my T laugh. He's smiled a few times surely? We've joked a bit over email. I try not to be bitingly sarcastic, which is my prefered brand of humour, but lean toward the kooky with him, which is also satisfying- because I know that he doesn't appreciate this sarcasm in me, and thinks it is bad.

Last marital session I remember, that my T told my H that when I make negative remarks about myself, he should say: "that must be very painful to feel like that" instead of saying "You shouldn't say that." In spite of having very difficult time communicating what I was thinking the rest of the session, at this point I cracked up, openly mocked T, and told my H that I would surely kill him if he ever talked to me that way.
T said that H can't use that as a "technique," but has to really mean it- this made me laugh even more, and give up on T, who clearly must use this as a technique himself or that thought wouldn't occur to him. My H was laughing at my sarcasm, I think T was laughing a little bit, too, maybe, but I'm not sure, as I cannot look at him anymore.
MH- I am sorry that you feel you don't give your T joy. I feel much the same way. But maybe that other client is just further along in the process, than you are- or maybe they were laughing about something completly un therapy-related- who knows? Laughter is not a "more important" emotion than tears or sorrow. Crying together or just being sad together is equally valid and shows just as much care. In fact, sharing deep sorrow is a gift.

BB

I agree! I want so badly to be able to share sorrow with my T. I think I heard him get very sad for me when talking about trauma last session (but I could not even look up from burying my head in my arms). I would love to be able to cry with T...that would be a most special experience.

We do laugh, but often he looks rather puzzled at my probably rather odd jokes. my joke last week threw him. I had spilled my coffee on the carpet in the mayhem of picking up stuff as I left and I said, as the damp patch spread, "She didn't urinate on anyone did she?" a line from Johnny English, a favourite film of my family. AS he knows I live in dread of peeing in a session out of sheer terror, i thought he would like the quote ... but he just looked baffled so I checked he had seen the film, and he mumbled something about 'having watched it with the children'.... but obviously did not watch this scene closely. Oh well.
I shall work on making him laugh more, I think we are going to need it tomorrow. I make my EMDR T, kindMaffa, laugh a lot and she makes me laugh too, she told me about the time her partner was trying to be discreet when he came in (she works from home) and so he tiptoed up the stairs and then he heard the client coming out of the room so he hid in the bathroom.
the client walked into the bathroom. And got such a shock as he was standing there, in the dark! He didn't want to put the light on as he thought he was hiding. The client screamed to find this man standing in the dark in the bathroom. Oh boy, did she make me laugh with that.

Sadly -that story just gave me quite a good laugh too!

quote:

As I think about it, the more joking we do together, the more intimate (good, safe, familiar sort of intimacy) I feel in that relationship. He feels safe to tease and joke and so do I. We can bring a smile or laugh to each other. Sometimes, he is even able to break me out of a very dark place. It's a real blessing to share that with him.

Well put Yaku. My second session this week was once again, filled with the usual chuckles, but I did manage to get one good laugh out of her. It does make the whole situation feel safer and closer. Makes me more comfortable with my T. This time, I was rather tearful, and said something funny to try and break me out of my tears - her smile made me cry harder, but then she laughed and I was able to smile at her laughter. A good feeling it was to smile through tears!

quote:

her smile made me cry harder, but then she laughed and I was able to smile at her laughter. A good feeling it was to smile through tears!

she seems to be a very attuned T...love it. Thanks for sharing R2G!