((((PS))))

I don't really know what to say that will make you feel better. I guess your T is putting your best interests first but I also know it won't feel like that, and it is the feelings that you are dealing with. I am sorry that you have to go through this.

's

B2W

(((((((proffesor snape)))))

I'm so sorry. Leaving a T is rough. I once had a T terminate therapy with me because she couldn't effectively help the way I needed. The rejection and pain and grief was tremendous. I had invested so much and worked so hard. I never thought I'd try therapy again. I did try again, and I'm very glad I did. It took a a little time before I could get the courage to go again, but when I did go, and found a T who was a better fit, it helped me heal from the loss of the T, and we made a lot more progress with much less work, on both our parts, just because the therapy and therapist was a better fit for what I needed.

Over time, I actually needed less therapy than what the old T offered, but a more paced manner, and a T who was ok with me progressing more slowly, but in a more stable and lasting way. I also needed a different typoe of therapy too. When I started with that new T, I did DBT therapy as well, and was very valuable in lots of ways for my life. It was only for a short season that I increased the therapy, then after doing the DBT, I was able to decrease.

No matter what, ending with a T can be really hard. If you don't want to go next week, that's ok. Did she say why she wanted to meet with you next week? Would she be willing to help you transition to a new T?

It was really painful when my old T told me she was terminating with me and I needed more and different kind of therapy... it hurt like hell... and yet, she was right... It didn't really make the pain less, but I eventually was kind of glad I didn't stay with her. I found what I really needed...

I'm so sorry this has happened. Please take care of yourself the best you can, and keep reaching out. Others here have had T's end therapy with them, and I bet would have much better input on how to get through it, and ideas on what to do from here.

lots of hugs,
jd

Born: thanks for your kind words, they do make me feel better. I appreciate the cute hug smiley face too.

quote:

Originally posted by born2write:
((((PS))))

I don't really know what to say that will make you feel better. I guess your T is putting your best interests first but I also know it won't feel like that, and it is the feelings that you are dealing with. I am sorry that you have to go through this.

's

B2W

Snape I don't have much to add but here are some more hugs. I know leaving any T can be so painful

Jane, many thanks for you post and words of encouragement. I understand why my T believes I need DBT and more sessions per week. I still have suicidal thoughts. Nothing as bad as when I was a teen and in my early 20s, but after two and a half years with my T they still pop into my head occasionally. I am grateful she has my best interests at heart, but it is like you wrote, this hurts. I feel as if I broke up with a boyfriend or ended a relationship with a dear friend. Perhaps my feelings are so emotionally painful because I have an intense erotic transference to her. T says it is from some childhood experience and the sexual nature is a defense, against what I do not know. This experience reminds me of when my dad left my mom. I was 4 years old and I remember this as a traumatizing experience. Now I am being left again and handed off to some one else.
T wants to see me again probably because she believes I will stop therapy all together. When my T was explaining why I need to go to DBT I first said no and then I will think about it. If we are not making any progress I do not see the point in continuing sessions with her, this will only prolong the inevitable. I do not want anymore stress and pain in my life. I have always been the one dumped in relationships, so I want to end this relationship on my terms. I was crying last night and told my husband I feel like a car that is a lemon, assembled badly from the start. I will never be ok. My hubby told me I am not a lemon. That is good to know.

I do not know if my current T will do some sort of transition to a new DBT councilor? I will ask her. How is a transition done between Ts?

Thanks. You are awesome.

quote:

Originally posted by BLT:
Snape I don't have much to add but here are some more hugs. I know leaving any T can be so painful

just offering some support, snape.

i can only imagine how tough that was to hear and how hard this is to go through. i know you replied on the dbt topic in another area of the forum and i really hope, if you go that route, you find some success there. i can understand why you'd feel abandoned and it's triggering all kinds of stuff

Sorry I can't write more at the moment - but please reach out to people as you possibly can to help you thought this. I really hope your T will do some sort of transition... I think it would be really tough not to. I'm not sure how a transition is done between Ts because I assume it's different for each patient but I think the Ts would meet/consult on your clinical record - I'm not sure if they'd meet all together with you (but maybe over the phone? I've had my P on the phone w/ my T before). I think they'll want to make things as smoothly as possible good Ts really work hard not to hurt their clients more; even through transitions that hurt.

thanks for your comment. I will keep reaching out.

quote:

Originally posted by catalyst:


just offering some support, snape.

i can only imagine how tough that was to hear and how hard this is to go through. i know you replied on the dbt topic in another area of the forum and i really hope, if you go that route, you find some success there. i can understand why you'd feel abandoned and it's triggering all kinds of stuff

Sorry I can't write more at the moment - but please reach out to people as you possibly can to help you thought this. I really hope your T will do some sort of transition... I think it would be really tough not to. I'm not sure how a transition is done between Ts because I assume it's different for each patient but I think the Ts would meet/consult on your clinical record - I'm not sure if they'd meet all together with you (but maybe over the phone? I've had my P on the phone w/ my T before). I think they'll want to make things as smoothly as possible good Ts really work hard not to hurt their clients more; even through transitions that hurt.