I come from a large, very damaged family.
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What a hard, hard, hard thing to do.
(Boy, I am having Deja Vu right now. Have we had this conversation before?)
It sounds like you are strong - realizing that you needed help, getting it, recognizing the dysfunctional patterns in your FOO. And good for you for having a "self-therapy session." We all probably need to do more of that.
I'm glad your T is a gem. And I'm glad you recognize the gift you are giving yourself.
hugs,
-RT
(Boy, I am having Deja Vu right now. Have we had this conversation before?)
It sounds like you are strong - realizing that you needed help, getting it, recognizing the dysfunctional patterns in your FOO. And good for you for having a "self-therapy session." We all probably need to do more of that.
I'm glad your T is a gem. And I'm glad you recognize the gift you are giving yourself.
hugs,
-RT
How I admire you VH and thank you for posting.
I can relate to the wanting to belong. I don't have any family and desperately wanted one. I have friends but it is not the same. I joined a Church and I have been accepted more than I could ever have hoped for. So now I have my Church family which isn't real blood family but all the same brilliant. They are supportive, kind and loving. I know Church isn't for everyone but VH I do hope you find a group of people that you can call your family and who will love and respect you for the lovely person you are.
I hope to get to know you better.
Caroola xx
I can relate to the wanting to belong. I don't have any family and desperately wanted one. I have friends but it is not the same. I joined a Church and I have been accepted more than I could ever have hoped for. So now I have my Church family which isn't real blood family but all the same brilliant. They are supportive, kind and loving. I know Church isn't for everyone but VH I do hope you find a group of people that you can call your family and who will love and respect you for the lovely person you are.
I hope to get to know you better.
Caroola xx
Thanks for sharing your story VH. I recently came to the same conclusion as you and it's very painful to long so much to be part of your own family. It's also painful to see everyone living in such dysfunctional ways knowing that they will probably never change.
I came to the same realization a few months and it has been very painful to distance myself from many relatives, including my parents who live down the street. While I'm grieving the painful loss, I'm also feeling stronger and healthier.
I recently found a new church and am so thankful to have found a group of people who have accept and love me like my family never did. I really hope you can find a good group of people who will give you the love you deserve.
PassionFruit
I came to the same realization a few months and it has been very painful to distance myself from many relatives, including my parents who live down the street. While I'm grieving the painful loss, I'm also feeling stronger and healthier.
I recently found a new church and am so thankful to have found a group of people who have accept and love me like my family never did. I really hope you can find a good group of people who will give you the love you deserve.
PassionFruit
Hi VH,
Many of us have similar dysfunctional family histories. I discovered many years ago that I functioned much better if I kept my family at arms length. This worked well for about 20 years. Unfortunately, this past two years have brought about my mothers descent into late Alzheimer's and I was pulled back into the mess again. It has totally screwed with my mind and my stability.
Do listen to your T. I found the most peace when I was able to see my father for who he really is: a damaged individual without the capacity to really love. It doesn't stop the longing completely but it does make you understand he could never satisfy that longing.
's
Jillann
Many of us have similar dysfunctional family histories. I discovered many years ago that I functioned much better if I kept my family at arms length. This worked well for about 20 years. Unfortunately, this past two years have brought about my mothers descent into late Alzheimer's and I was pulled back into the mess again. It has totally screwed with my mind and my stability.
Do listen to your T. I found the most peace when I was able to see my father for who he really is: a damaged individual without the capacity to really love. It doesn't stop the longing completely but it does make you understand he could never satisfy that longing.
'sJillann
((((veryhopeful))))