Hi everyone,

I came across this site while doing a search about making a connection with my physical therapist. I've recently 'graduated'/ been released (2 weeks now) after 5 months and am having a tough time.

I’m looking for help in understanding / dealing with my feelings of loss, rejection, disappointed, hurt, etc. After 5 months of being in pt for a partial knee replacement, my pt and I made what felt like a friendship connection. We had great conversations and many common interests. Family, interests, personal things etc. were shared on both sides and we laughed a lot (even through my pain). I looked forward to going to pt twice a week. It really felt like a friendship was forming and more than a professional pt/patient relationship. She even made comments leading me to believe we could actually have a friendship post therapy. She recently said that things like… her daughter would have fun playing with my nieces, it’s going to be sad when you leave, etc. When she made the comment about her daughter, I said that we could probably work that out once you spring me so there won’t be any conflicts. Now, I couldn’t see her face since I was laying on my stomach at the time, but she never said anything to the contrary, like not crossing lines, etc. Nor did the tone of the conversation change.

So at my last session, after she gave me my departing exercises and instructions (and saying I could call with any questions, but that she knew I’d do fine as long as I didn’t overdo it), I asked if we could stay in touch on a friendship basis since I was no longer her patient. I was turned down. She said that she tries not to cross the professional lines. I said that I felt we had a connection and that I didn't plan on coming back to pt anytime soon. She said we did have fun, but made the same comment and then said that the bosses discourage it. Our normally very upbeat rapport instantly turned awkward. Wow, that was the last thing I wanted. So, the very nice thank you that I wanted to say didn’t happen. I really wanted to flee, but had already said I’d do my final exercises. I really just wanted to bury my head in the sand or do a rewind of the prior 10 minutes. Before I left, I tried to make things seem normal by just chatting a little. It wasn’t the same, plus another pt was still there, who is normally gone by then (hmmmm…. that was odd too). So my goodbye, was like…. Thank you and I guess I’m out. Not very personal or anything. I feel bad about the lame thank you and the awkwardness that resulted.

So, in an attempt to ‘right’ things, I emailed her with a very nice thank you, apology, an explanation, and an opening in case she ever wanted to grab a coffee or whatever. That was last Wednesday. I was hoping that she would reply with even just a quick email back (you’re welcome, my pleasure, no worries, whatever) indicating that she at least read the email. Now, I am stressing that she may not have even read the email.

I want to call her with a legitimate pt question and then ask if she read the email, but I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do. I hate the way the 5 month ‘relationship’ ended and just want to smooth things over and make it ‘right’.

Part of me feels stupid for feeling the way I do, but the feelings are just so real. I really like this person (not in any romantic way, totally platonic) and thought we had what seemed like a friendship. I envisioned us being friends and becoming part of each other’s circle of friends. I feel like I lost a friend and am confused, disappointed, sad, hurt, regretful, etc.

Help!!! What do I do??? Thank you!!!