I've been in a bit of a fog this last month or two. Had a real life event trigger me badly. I've been on the way out of it but sort of stuck between the two states: not really able to get back to the present and feeling pulled into shutting down.

Now, my MIL died this week. We weren't particularly close. She had a sad sad life. She was mentally ill and had 4 children. If she was raising her children today, I'm sure there would have been a call or two to CPS. As it was, she lost her children in a custody battle to the Dad and his new wife.

Anyway, it's having a weird affect on me in terms of my own stuff. I suddenly feel so tired of feeling all the crap I feel in therapy and I'm not sure I want to go back. It feels like I've snapped out of that bad state and back to reality. Not sure what's going on and wondering if anyone had any theories?

I felt so out of control of my emotional state right before she died. I kept trying to pull myself into the present but couldn't. It took too much energy. Now, this loss has accomplished it but it's all so hard for me to understand. Is it all just too threatening to feel?