(((scattered)))

Of course you feel awful after asking for reassurance and getting brushed off. You didn't do anything wrong. Actually I think you did something very positive by asking for what you were needing.

I'm wondering if you could share more exactly how your T responded though? I only ask because sometimes I am GREAT about reading all kinds of negative things into emails from my T which aren't actually there. Maybe we could help you figure out whether she was really saying what you thought she was?

you have to believe, whether you are right or wrong, that she is in a bad mood, and its her own issue with impatience. her job does not permit her to be like that, so it was her mistake.

you should also try to not overthink the situation, and get another therapist clearly. i would suggest CB therapy. other people will not be able to help you, a therapist, a good therapist, are the only people to rely upon.

Thanks for your responses.
BLT this is what she wrote : "And please stop reading pop psychology nonsense about borderline personality on the internet - why torment yourself with things that makes you feel bad? Could you instead just trust this process and get on with your rich and productive life..?" Bleh, I don't even have a rich and productive life at all and she knows that. I'm probably over reacting, but it really hurts, she has never said anything like that before. I don't think I can trust her anymore, and that is just after asking her if I could trust her. I sent her a quote of somebody about borderline being difficult clients and said that I hoped that that isn't the way she sees me. - it was a just by the way thing anyway.. AGH me and my big mouth, that's way it's just better not to talk to anybody!!! I always ruin it. She didn't even comment on me asking her for support.. suppose I wasn't allowed to ask or something.

Missdel, I don't know if I could even try to talk to another therapist... this has been so hard with her as is and am extremely attached to her that I can't function between sessions..

I sometimes just dont want to live anymore

Scattered,
Seems like T's give such mixed messages at times. I'm feeling sorry for you as I know how this feels and I go back and forth...I wonder if it was impatience on her part or maybe she possibly thought you were in a strong place to hear it...after I cry it out then I always speculate but "scaredy cat" me doesn't always clarify since it is hard to get the courage to ask. I hope you can work it out with her or maybe like misdel says and think about getting another therapist.

Take care,
Hopeful

Well, that certainly does sound a bit harsh. I still have a couple more questions though.

Are you actually diagnosed BPD? Was there anything in particular you said that she might have interpreted as "pop psychology nonsense?" Have you actually been feeling worse because of things you've been reading on the internet?

She diagnosed my with Borderline, and first of all didn't tell me, but had my P tell me when I went for a check up, as she is not conviced the P's diagnosis of bipolar is correct and that's where I got stuck as it was just an echo of being oversensitive and emotional and that other people find it difficult to deal with.
I was hung up on it for a while and felt very hurt that she didn't explain and discuss it with me first. But this was just something that I forwarded to her and just said that it was something really hars and that I hope she doesn't feel that way with ha ha afterwards.. like in not serious. It obviously upset her I suppose. I just never thought that a T would ever tell you to get on with your life.. when they know what you are going through... or am I wrong here?

You mean you forwarded some article to her about BPD which was very critical or harsh towards people with that diagnosis?

I don't agree with how she responded since I think it wasn't very considerate. Especially if she diagnosed you with BPD in the first place, she should realize that people with BPD are usually very sensitive to comments like the ones she made and that they certainly don't help.

The grain of truth in what she wrote is that if reading articles about BpP makes you feel worse, it's probably better not to do it. But if your T is the one who gave you that diagnosis in the first place, I think it really falls to her to help you understand it and feel better about it, instead of just telling you to get on with your life. It's true that if you could just "get on with life" you probably wouldn't be in therapy in the first place.

I wonder if she's usually so dismissive of your feelings, or whether she was having a bad day or something when she wrote it. Do you think you could bring up to her how you felt about her response?

I don't think I want to talk to her again after that. I think I will just take her her money on tuesday and tell her to cancel all other appointments and that I will phone to rescedule, but won't. I knew at some point I would make her angry and it wasn't intentional. She says she prefers not to talk about personality disorders and even weary about diagnosing them????? She has also on accation asked me to lie to my H about things and even tell him that I don't see her anymore?? And that I should pack a suitcase to hide away for when I feel I want to leave him..

Agh maybe she did have a really bad day, but even yesterday at the session she seemed preoccupied with something else. Like she wasn't really attuned. I might be wrong, maybe I was just boring her.

I have come to the conclusion that she just tolerates me so that she can finish the work she started and thinks I'm wacko... She is very intelligent and remembers EVERYTHING, but does have the ability to really say hurtful things sometimes, like this. She even said the other day in her email that I shouldn't email her emotion things as they will not get a response from her and this was at a low time in my life - after loosing my house

Wow, I didn't expect you to want to leave so badly after saying you're so attached to her you can't function between sessions.

From what you say, she doesn't sound like she's particularly good for you. On the other hand, if there's anything you want to express or clarify with her, I think there's great value in doing that before you just make a run for it. You might not get another chance afterwards.

I've wanted to cancel before and she acted all strange and felt like she would be relieved if I left. I know they are supposed to leave it up to us to decide and not have their feelings in the room, but she gets this certain look about her, when I know that she is struggling to be 'nice'. Even though she has offered me lower rates as my insurance has run out, which should be a sign of her wanting me there, I just had this gut feeling that she was almost tired of me...I know it's what I perceve and not necesarily what she is thinking, I can't read her mind. Maybe there is some other stuff going on in her life right now. It would be too painful to go back and discuss this - it's either that, just disapearing or going and just disociating like i usually do. I don't know, but either way, she has hurt me and the relationship is kind of ruined..

quote:

she has hurt me and the relationship is kind of ruined

I don't have much time, gotta get my kids from bus, but I wanted to say that my T hurt me very badly on Jan 4th, and it continues to come up in my mind, and in fact, we just talked about it, again, this past Monday. Like she said, we made it through it, and, it was a very good example of how two people who care about each other do make mistakes and can hurt each other. I can share more if you would like.

I know you're hurting, and that is NOT stupid.

thanks ninn
i would love to hear more when you have the time

Hi Scattered,

I think a better "T-like" response to your email would have been to explore the reasons behind your sending her that link, and perhaps to wonder what you were looking for in all this 'pop psychology nonsense'.

I think it's entirely understandable to have a curiosity about BPD if that is your diagnosis. Her response feels more like a judgment of your actions than an exploration of the feelings that are behind them. Combined with some of the other things you said about her, like her suggesting you lie to your husband, it certainly sounds like there's more 'unsolicited advice' in this therapy than there needs to be.

You're blaming yourself in all of this, but the truth is being needy and asking for help is entirely normal. From what I've seen here, having a T that can tolerate that is the cornerstone of successful therapy.

I will add, that just for myself-- I love getting a lot of information, and I love coming here, but sometimes it is a double-edged sword, in that it can be easy to lose sight of what my own struggles are. I read all this stuff and it starts to feel like, everything applies to me as well. OR conversely, I am doing something wrong because I don't work in ways that I see described. All this to say, that even if "you have BPD" your identity is not locked into that diagnosis, and it doesn't mean you are that person that is described in bullet points on some webpage. Maybe this is what was behind T's response to you. It still takes the hard work of self-exploration, perhaps through therapy, to work out who you are. YOU are unique and your journey is your own.

I wish you the best

Effed,

I hear what you say and I can even maybe understand her frustration with me in reading up about things, but I really haven't for a long time, and this just happened to pop up the other day. I know I should have just kept my mounth shut, but she also in other ways just ignores my needs. Even if it is a simple wanting her to reassure me that all is ok.

Hi Scattered,

my sincere apologies if my post came across as in any way aligning myself with your T's frustration. On the contrary, I think, with regards to therapy, there should be no judgment of your thoughts and actions; you should be encouraged to express yourself in whatever way comes up, and then to work out why-- your T's impatience only gets in the way of that.

effed

Scattered, don't just leave your T. If you do that you will almost certainly regret it. I'm not saying what she did was right - it's not, but you have clearly been going to her for a while, and it will have a huge impact on you if you give up and leave at this moment without discussing your feelings first. It just may be that she did have a bad day - or something else?

It's amazing just how much power we allow our T's to have over us. How much we value their opinions above our own. How much we need their reassurance and their support. They are human and they DO make mistakes, and it makes me wonder why we are all too scared to tell them about their mistakes. Yet let them question our decisions/motives/responses etc and we roll up in a ball of regret prayinng and hoping that they will forgive us. Hmmmmm.....I never want to give someone the power to do that to me again, but in truth I already know I will - sad but true.

Hi Scattered,
Sorry I'm so late to the thread, I was out with my family all day (my youngest is home from college on break and both my husband and I took a vacation day). Don't just quit and walk away. From what you're saying you have a good relationship with your T in general. You talked about hitting a major breakthrough and those don't usually happen if something good isnt' happening in the therapeutic relationship.

I know one of the mistakes I made a lot, especially early on, was in assuming what my therapist was thinking or feeling or meant and then getting upset about it. But when I checked in with him and talked about it, almost inevitably I had misunderstood or interpreted what he had said to mean something he didn't mean. The whole point of transference is that we take in all the facts through the filter of our relational experience so that you can get the facts correct but attach the wrong meaning to them.

So before you quit and walk away from what has been a healing relationship, I would talk to her about the email and how you felt about what she said and how threatened and judged you felt. I think this is something that can be worked through.

AG

Thanks for all your responses. I know that what she said and how I feel about it, has a lot to do with what people would say in the past - get on with it already... And that just makes me feel so rejected and hearing that from her, was the last thing I expected. I know that she regrets ever bringing up the borderline issue and told me so in one session, so maybe on her part she feels very frustrated with me. Being diagnosed as borderline, has been like a death sentence to me. But there were so many other things that were so much more important that I emailed her about and that was the only thing she replied to.

I have just been so hurt before (when I was very young), being attached and then told that I was too young to have so many problems and that I should get on with my life, because I have so much going for me. If I could get on with my life I would, and like you said, then I wouldn't be in therapy in the first place.

The thing is, I don't want to be so attached to her, because of this fear of being rejected and thus I know I will really really miss her if I leave, but I will get over it and maybe this is a cue for me to break that tie, before things get really messy as they have allready started to. She does get rather defensive or changes the subject when I do ask her these kind of questions. I have never been angry with her and maybe I am now, but more hurt than anything else. It's just sad that she has to be so careful what she says to me because of being oversensitive and in any therapists view, I suppose that would be a difficult patient and even annoying at times.

I would love to work this through with her, but am so scared that I know I won't be able to face her. I don't do well with conflict and I'm like a five year old when it comes to people telling me my needs can't be met! I am now very scared of her and feel guilty and bad and sad and teary and angry with myself!!!!!
I sent her a email saying that I was sorry that I made her angry and that I won't bother her with emails again.. This is going to kill me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I always fail at everything, even therapy!

v

I totally understand your pain and your reaction. I would be thinking the same and wanting to leave for all your reasons.

My T let me down last year and I cancelled and withdrew for a few weeks. It was early in our relationship and I was shattered as I wasn't attached. She asked me to talk it thru with her. i wrote it all down and we fleshed it out over a few sessions and became closer. She changed a few things and we communicated better.

She has let me down a few more times since then and right now we are in the middle of a big problem. because I am attached - and yes I wish I wasn't because then I could just cut her off without a thought - I keep going back and telling her a bit more why i am angry. She has admitted her fault, tells me she cares, tells me she wants to repair us - but it hurts so much and goes to the core of my rejection and abandonment issues.

My BPD, initial advice to you is to tell her to piss off and leave you and you can do with out her. But that isn't the right advice. that is the BPD, emotional, immature, knee-jerk reaction from a wounded person who doesn't let people in. That makes for lonely, confused and unhappy people.

The new me who is trying to live a life, feel connected to people, learning how to trust, like and love people and to separate current disappointments from long ago traumas - is saying to you. the proper way for you to deal with this is to go and talk to her, no matter how painful and talk this out. Write down how you are feeling and bring it up with her. Even if she did have a bad day and reacted - she needs to know that she can hurt you very much and it has.

People like us can't read others that well - we need to check their reactions and thinking all the time to make sure we know what is going on. You have probably assumed a lot of things wrong - so you have to sort it out with her.

i am going thru this right now and it is horrible and painful. But i will learn from it.

Talk to your T.

I kow you are right muff and I am probably over reacting. But the pain is still real.

Thanks SD and sorry that you too are struggling.

I know that she won't approach me first before my next session and will just ignore it, till I go see her and then try to fish why I am angry or she will fly off at me because of the borderline thing. She can be very straight forward most of the times and doesn't take any bullsh**.

Im just so tired.. tired of trying to struggle and therapy just seems to add to all the pain in a way.. I suppose I have been waiting for her to do this so that I can just run away..

v

Why would a T be upset about your trying to inform yourself in any way about either what is going on with you, the general perception of what is going on with you, or how T"s regard BPD? Does it serve HER interest or YOURS?

Forgive me, but I would tell her that I am going to read what I like. For what it's worth, BPD is a bit of a questionable diagnosis in my book, and questions can and should be asked.

Why is asking questions considered "borderline" behavior? Why is it either about submitting fully or telling her to piss off? Why is it "bad" for you to get angry? Not rage, but express anger, assertiveness? Isn't it a sign of maturity to decide for oneself when the T is off the mark? Because they are not perfect. They can do a lot of good, but they are not gods.

quote:

She does get rather defensive or changes the subject when I do ask her these kind of questions. I have never been angry with her and maybe I am now, but more hurt than anything else. It's just sad that she has to be so careful what she says to me because of being oversensitive and in any therapists view, I suppose that would be a difficult patient and even annoying at times.

This sounds like a big red flag to me. Saying something hurtful to someone will of course, elicit a defensive reaction from a person, normal or borderline. It's NORMAL. When you respond, and she tells you that you are being too sensitive, (does she?) .. that's a form of verbal manipulation called the Double Whammy. It's not a nice thing to do. Changing the subject also accomplishes the same thing. It's a great way to feel like one is going crazy, (It IS crazymaking, seriously) and if you haven't previously been "borderline"... she may be creating it where it didn't exist before, or at least she is making it worse.

Educate yourself. You deserve it. Then politely call her on it. Say perhaps: "I don't like when you put me in these positions, and I don't like when you evade my direct questions." I own my part, but own please own yours" If she gets defensive, you have EVERY reason to be wary. Consider as well that she is ALSO being defensive and doing the same thing that you are beating yourself up over... and exerting her control by changing the subject.

I'm sorry to sound harsh, but I see very little of this perspective on the forum lately. Do what you feel is best, of course. Take this advice with a grain of salt.

Hi Scattered,

I just want to add a different reading to the pot, because I don't think anyone else has suggested this yet. I took 'get on with your rich and productive life' as a compliment to you. You don't feel you have a rich and productive life, but it sounds like your T considers that you do. And that she wants you to know that that's where the meaning of your life is - in the ways that you fulfill yourself and others every day - not in received judgements about a diagnosis.

Perhaps because she got the feeling it was just a by-the-way thing she thought it would be okay to dismiss the criticism implicit in what you found (that borderline clients are difficult) - like she could just wave away a passing fear for you, and reassure you that way.

Of course, it hasn't come across as reassuring, but that might not have been her intention. I want to draw your attention back to her words - to 'trust this process' - which tell me she wants you to be IN therapy, engaging with it, as part of the rich and productive life she sees you having.

I wonder if it's possible to read the email as though she was saying it in a warm, caring voice with a gentle smile, instead of in an angry voice? Perhaps she may not have intended to convey anger at all.

Thanks muff

N9
You are right, I can educate myself as much as I want and when I do ask her questions about borderline, she should give me an answer and not make it like she shouldn't even have mentioned it in the first place, because she did. She should be helping me deal with this, not telling me its of no use to look into it - i want to know who I am.

Jones - I think you are actually right, that that is how she did really mean what she said. But, she has been avoiding the whole borderline thing and makes me angry in a way. She says it's just cruel labels created by ignorant people, so why tell my P that that is what she thinks I have and that he shouldn't increase or change any of my meds? Even if she did mean it like you said, (which I suppose is right) - she could of at least just addressed the other concerns that I had and the reassurance that I needed, in stead of commenting on the borderline issue. Maybe she was just busy. I know she is not perfect.

She won't answer me as to what therapy she specialises in or if she does EMDR and how many cases has she dealt with like me - she just says that it wouldn't be useful for me to know????? Why not?? I am always too scared to take her on and question anything...

You sound balanced to me, Scattered.

To share, I had a bad therapist who used the label on me. Another T told me that this sounded questionable, as the old T had very little experience and was probably just frustrated that I didn't accept everything he said on blind faith, questioned him, wasn't an obedient little mouse, and called him on his manipulating style of therapy. I consider myself quite sane, and I'm very glad I was able to retain my sense of self throughout this bad experience.

For the record, I do not have BPD. Maybe she doesn't want you to know how carelessly this dx is given to any "difficult" female client. It should be administered with thought and care, but since the definition is so ugly and vague, it's all to easy to throw this label on anyone.

If it helps you to feel any better, I would say that almost everyone on the planet would qualify as being BPD at some point in their lives. Ever notice how many books are written about how to deal with the "other"...that "borderliner"? Yet nobody admits to having these tendencies. It's always the other one that has it. My wife has it... my husband has it.. it just doesn't add up. It's good to think about these things. Seriously.

Get a second opinion if you can, but as you said not from online sources. Hang in there, balance this info from the previous posts, and know that you can trust yourself. I just remembered... if you can't trust yourself, who CAN you trust?

PS: I walked away from this therapist without looking back, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. I'm not suggesting that you do this. I just want to make it clear that my walking away from a T that was making me crazy is NOT borderline behavior, it was a proper, well-thought out decision that probably kept me from sinking into becoming that which the T accused me of in the first place. Know when to stay, and when to RUN!!!!

Hi Scattered... while it may be a good possibility to view her email in the spirit that Jones suggested, I do have pretty strong feelings that you should be allowed to be informed about yourself and about your T's orientation and experience.

It could be a possibility that your T meant her response in a gentle caring way and that she does not want you to become defined by a diagnosis. Yet it would have been more caring to explain it in this way for you.

On the other hand, you have every right to educate yourself and to ask questions of your T. If she becomes defensive and/or angry for this reason (and I'm talking on a regular basis not just one aberraton) then I would see that as a red flag and be watchful of it going forward. My T feels that belonging to a Board like this one keeps patients safe in that they learn from each other what good and bad therapy looks like.

One important thing she did say was to learn to trust the process. Although, I think one needs to understand what the process IS in order to trust it. Even then it's not easy to trust it. I do understand the process and have a pretty good idea of what it looks like. And I still struggle. I am fortunate though, because my T reminds me of what it's all about when my faith falters.

Regarding the BPD dx... I am more of a believer (personally speaking) that when there is a trauma background that complex PTSD is a more reasonable possibility. And while some professionals feel that BPD patients are impossible or difficult etc blah blah... that is an excuse for THEIR lack of expertise. There is hope for anyone who is dedicated to healing and has a T with the correct expertise and experience.

Hang in there Scattered and bring your concerns back to your T and talk about them. You should be able to share your feelings whatever they are.

Take care
TN

Also for what it's worth, after a lot of research I concluded that what is basically meant by BPD is someone with chronic and severe emotional dysregulation. This is why I think many or even most people can wind up acting borderline-ish at some time in their lives, because the circumstances caused them to lose control of their emotions. While seeing oldT I thought I was actually slightly BPD myself, but I haven't really acted like that at all with my new T. So the things going on in my life combined with how she was acting were actually bringing that stuff out in me.

I hope you get it all sorted out somehow.

TN
Thanks for your input. It has raised red flags in the sense that when I do ask her how many BDP patients she has dealt with before, she doesn't answer and asks, what would it help me to know. She does not answer me if I ask her what type of therapy she is specialised in, and just says that there is no specific formula and that I must trust her. I do trust her, but surely I am entitled to know what she specialises in? I have asked her about hypnotism and she just said no. She has never explained to me why and what about BDP and just says that she regrets ever mentioning it. She says she doesn't in general diagnose personality disorders???? I don't understand her thinking behind this all.

I email her on a daily basis and this is the first time that she was actually so harsh. On Thursday during my session she seemed almost irritated with me and I was freaking out big time.

I have discussed with her how I feel about her and that I am so attached and that this is new ground for me, to allow myself to trust her. She is the only one that has believed that there was actually abuse, but now I feel that they might just be false memories and I am struggling with that. She does not help me to try and regulate my feelings between sessions and has told me that I cannot email her anything personal anymore, and should keep that for the sessions. The emails are just for Hi and letting her know how I feel, but if I feel bad, then obviously I cannot convey that in an email??

BTW, she is VERY against me finding support on the forum...

This is all so confusing and I am in the midst of major memories (what I think they are) and emotions and body pains, and I really don't know how to cope with all this. I can't believe that my father did abuse me and can't understand what's going on. I am scared to go back to therapy, one, to face her and two, I am in such a state about all this.

BLT
I also feel that therapy has brought out all these BPD traits in me. I don't feel the same when I am at therapy - I feel like some different person all together???

You guys have all been so great!

quote:

BTW, she is VERY against me finding support on the forum...

Really? To me that would be a HUGE red flag. Did she say WHY she was opposed to you getting help on a forum?

I asked her, and she was very vague in answering - something about I shouldn't listen to others opinions or read about their issues... Why not? Is what I would like to know. She won't answer..

She also said that I shouldn't discuss what I say or do in therapy with anybody else - meaning the forum, cause I don't have friends.

quote:

She also said that I shouldn't discuss what I say or do in therapy with anybody else - meaning the forum, cause I don't have friends.

This is all very odd as you report it. Well, good for you for talking anyway!

BLT
The sad thing is, that I really do trust her and I really do like her and haven't missed a session in 15 months.
Maybe I'm just crazy and expecting somebody to actually like me, is a bit far fetched..

I emailed her ( I know I said I wouldn't ) and asked her if her email was ment in an angry way or not and that I was really hurt by what/ how she said it.
So we will wait and see if she responds.

Does anybody else struggle with the tought of what they might remember about their past is false memories?? I can't wrap my head around that and have been having severe nightmares and insomnia as well... Does a person heal from it or sould a person let sleeping dogs lie?

b

Hello Scattered, I actually wrote out a post to this thread last night but by the time I finished it a load of others had replied and said in a much better way most of the stuff I was trying to say so I didn’t post.

Edited to add: I’m sorry I can’t comment at all on the issue of memories being true or not, perhaps you could start a new thread about that, as lots of others on here have struggled with similar things?

What I want to chip in now about is this thing with your T actively trying to discourage you from being on the forum and giving you a dictate about not talking about therapy with anyone else. Which strikes me as a very controlling thing to do, especially as she isn’t giving you any kind of reasonable explanation as to her reasons for telling you to do that so you can decide for yourself whether it’s a good idea or not.

I’d read of other people’s therapists telling them to keep away from therapy forums and thought how very dictatorial and controlling that was, so when I went to see a new therapist once I had this idle question at the back of my mind wondering whether she would lay out that kind of demand. I seriously did not expect her to because I think it’s totally beyond the limits of the therapeutic relationship for a T to try and dictate what a client can and can’t do in their own lives.

Well blow me down but we were only into about our third session (and I’d already told her I read and posted here) and she comes out with, it’s probably not a good idea your being on the forum. (I should have run then and there!) I didn’t even bother asking her why because I already knew it’s a knee jerk attitude that some therapists have to any sign that clients are getting information and support (and quite often can also be negatively influenced by, to be fair) about therapy from other people.

I can sometimes see that it might be beneficial to stay away from researching therapy stuff to any great extent, but I would expect ANY T to at least get to know their client first before laying down conditions like that. It’s very much a standard condition that some Ts adopt and apply wholesale to all their clients, regardless of whether it’s appropriate or not for specific clients. To me it spells incompetence and a rigidity of role and a lack of willingness to get to know ME as a person, instead I get pigeon-holed as being a ‘client’ and so I see it in your T as a major red flag.

Having said that, have you (or your T) noticed that since you started reading and posting here that it’s affected you badly or negatively in any way? Sometimes hearing about other people’s therapy can have a negative influence (it did for me for a while so I took a break, but of my own volition not because my T wanted me to). On the other hand getting to know first hand what therapy is and can be like is very empowering and helpful so it’s swings and roundabouts really.

Unfortunately the way you’ve described other things your T has said and done make me think that she’s not always acting in your best interests, even though she may think she is. Do you think you’ve benefited from therapy with her? You say that you really do like her and trust her so maybe these red flags that I and others here see in your relationship are all things that you could maybe try and discuss really openly and fully with her and get some of them resolved. If you’ve already got a good relationship established it would be worth working at it to get some more openness between you on just how badly you are being affected by some of the things she says and does.

Lol sorry this has become a mega post - I actually only meant to post about the forum issue but ended up trying to give a balanced view and it just went on and on. Basically, I want to say that if I were in your place, I’d head for the hills.

But of course it’s how you feel about it and whether you can continue to trust T with your therapy having these kinds of issues surfacing.

In any event, you’ve got all my support regardless

LL

This T sounds too much like a cult leader. BIG red flags.