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4 replies

Major surgery without anesthetic

amazonamazonMember
Is therapy something like open heart surgery?

First you just talk and cry and trust more and more.
Then there is transference, when you realize you actually love that person
Then you freak out a bit but eventually you find out that it is ok to love that person.
Then you find out that since it is ok you start to love more and more and literally desire this person - erotic transference.
Then you are in pain because you can't be with him/her.
Then you direct this pain at him/her and get really angry, like you nearly hate him/her - negative transference?

Then eventually when you go through the love, fear, pain, anger you reach some balance and a 'new you' will emerge from all that suffering.

That's sounds pretty horrible to me. Did I actually volunteer for THIS?
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M mrsprufrockMember
Hi Amazon,

It is indeed a very good analogy. Do you know what's funny though? The first thing I thought when when I saw your second post was "at least the surgeon will hold your hand"! Crazy isn't it! Not to trivialize your dental appointment at all, just that you don't even get the hand holding (or at least I didn't) in my case with my T. Maybe I'll get it, at least on a symbolic level, from my new T.

Thanks Amazon Smiler

Mrs. P
mad hattermad hatterMember
quote:
Did I actually volunteer for THIS?

What I have been trying to figure out is why we don't bolt when we finally figure out what we've signed up for (although I've been tempted several times). I think perhaps it is because the alternative still feels much worse. Doesn't that say something about the significance of our pain and what we are willing to endure to be free of it?
strummergirlstrummergirlMember
quote:
Originally posted by Mad Hatter:
I think perhaps it is because the alternative still feels much worse. Doesn't that say something about the significance of our pain and what we are willing to endure to be free of it?

Very well put. Big Grin Our former couples T and my current T told me that I'm "persistent" and "assertive" in asking for what I need. As if there was some kind of virtue in it. My response was, what else am I going to do? I have no where else to go. Better words for my persistence might be "driven by pain".

But that's usually what it takes for me to make changes. Razzer

SG

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