About a month ago my husband and I started marriage counseling...again. This I think is our third go around in the 11 yrs we've been married. A lot of our struggles stem from my depression and his ADD. Now we have a young daughter who is hyperactive and hypersensitive and she is kicking our butts. My T has been recommending marriage counseling (MC) for some time now but I just didn't think I was ready to do it again.

My T however referred me to a MFT that sounded like someone who could help us. He has a lot of experience and knowledge of ADD and depression. I don't think any of our past MFT's had any real knowledge or personal experience with ADD. If any of you are familiar with it you will know that a lot of ADD thinking and behavior simply defies logic. The kind of weird thing about this MFT though is that he is her husband. When she first recommended him (I guess I'll call him Mr. T for the lack of a better term ) it was the first time she had ever really mentioned her husband let alone told me anything about him. I knew he was a T (his name is on the door too) but I hardly ever expected to meet him. I never really tried to picture what her husband was like but when I first met him I was surprised. I guess he is just so different from her and has a totally different therapy style. Plus MC has a totally different dynamic than personal therapy that it is taking me a bit to get used to it.

Last week I talked about how I felt about not having any more children. I feel that is was an important piece of information since I am still so sad about it. I think about a 1/2 second after I stopped talking Mr. T completely changed the subject. I was too suprised to ask him why. It seemed like a really weird thing to do. I did end up asking my T if this is some specific therapy technique or something and I got the feeling that she thought it was pretty weird too. Of course all she said was that if it happens again I really should address it then and there. That is hard enough for me to do with her and I have been seeing her for 2+ years! Of course I do spend some of the time in MC sessions wondering about my T & Mr. T's relationship when I should be listening to what is being said. I try to forget that he is her husband sometimes just so I can stay focused on what is going on. Since she has told me so little about herself, my T instructed me to ask her about anything Mr. T may say about her that I find confusing. I guess he uses a lot more self-disclosure than she does. This might all be very interesting. (And hopefully helpful to my marriage of course. )