Hi, Kid. Sorry you're not finding any relief or distraction to help you through, though I think you've got a good strategy in going out and staying active. Do you think the crowds/friends might be overstimulating you? Would a quieter activity (bookshop or coffee shop) work better?
Not sure--what does li'l one think?

RabbitEars

Ya know, RE, now that you've asked if it's too stimulating for us, I have to stop and consider that. Up until now, I hadn't thought of it like that. The more I think of it now though, it makes sense. Li'l one and I have spent so much time in isolation drinking and now while we're trying to recover. I'm finding it a very tricky course to get thru. Sometimes, when li'l one comes forward during the quiet times, she's inconsolable. She's not into being side-tracked. Not sure if this is making any sense or if I'm saying it properly but that's how we're feeling.

Thanks for reading and listening.

The Kid and li'l one

I understand that part, Kid. My child self doesn't appreciate obvious attempts to distract her I have to first acknowledge she's hurting--just as I wish (or she wishes?) others would do. Then i usually admit to her that I don't know what to do for her...then promise i'll keep talking to T to try to figure things out for "us".

when the child is truly inconsolable, I usually lie down (nap/timeout) on my bed, but if sleep won't come and the brain won't stop, i'll try writing an email or letter to T (which I don't necessarily send). I don't know why that helps. For me (CSA survivor), the act of "telling" someone about my pain feels really scary but vitally important, so maybe even an unsent email helps the child feel better?

I hope you're both hanging in there, Kid.

RabbitEars

Actually, RE, both li'l one and I have sent numerous emails to T the last two years and, yes, I find it really helps. But, cuz she's away for a few weeks, I'm trying to make use of other resources while she's gone...posting on here is one of them. So, thank you for "getting it".

The Kid and li'l one

((Kid))
A really hard place to be, distraction isn't always easy to create without other difficulties coming in.
Perhaps when you take little one out to distract and it doesn't work it's because little one doesn't want you to distract yourself from paying attention to your little one.
How about doing something together, without crowds, perhaps a puzzle, or something creative.
I know that distraction feels like what we need to do to cope, but maybe we need to be with our little ones without needing to run out on them?
I'm no good at it, and hadn't really thought about it til I read your post. I do distraction big style, perhaps we need to pay more attention?

That's a really good point, Crootie!

Hi Crootie...unfortunately, it's the urge to drink when we're home alone that's making this a very tricky minefield to walk thru at the moment. Sometimes, as much as the adult wants to really listen to what li'l one is feeling/experiencing, the adult must make her sobriety her number one priority. Right now, it just really feels like there's this huge tug-of-war going on between us and I honestly don't know how best to handle it other than take very small baby steps with li'l one...and not take that cursed first sip, even if only a small one....

The Kid