quote:

well this is one of those things that i have sat here and read and re read but i dont understand.

Right with you there, echos. No idea what this means. Not smart enough.. It's almost like a foreighn language. Or maybe they are just trying to be...cryptic.

yarg.

Liese? Help?

This is where I think I'm uber dumb too because I don't understand I get annoyed at myself when I can't work stuff like this out.

I'm guessing that it's the degree of awareness of each other's behaviour and how they react to each other? I'm really not sure.

Please explain in idiotproof for me Liese! Ha.

I got this from an Anna Freud website:

'Mentalization is the ability to perceive and to communicate one's own mental states and those of others - or the ability to be 'mindful of minds.' The term is loosely interchangeable with intersubjectivity and theory of minds. Mentalization Based Therapy encourages mentalization in order to improve intimate relationships.

I'm guessing its about tapping into the moods that will occur which integrates with the patient's state of thinking at the time. I'm guessing that when they say that the therapist should be one step ahead, they mean that the therapist should exercise his or her empathetic awareness to judge how the patient will feel and alter the response as necessary, ideally by being acutely aware of the patient's moods etc (?)

quote:

forgetmenot......lmao..is that meant to help? i dont understand yours either theres no hope for me....oooooooooo

me too. I must be nutso.

Oh, Forgetmenot, I think you said it so much better than I ever could have.

I've read it over and over in the trauma literature that the ability to mentalize is key to our recovery. I think it is the ability to stand back from and reflect on our different emotional states. And, so if we are reacting emotionally and the therapist is also reacting emotionally (maybe the first example?) you can see how the patient wouldn't make much progress.


I've also read so many times in the trauma literature that the therapist really has to be on top of their emotional reactions and has to, basically, be expert mentalizers themselves or else they will run into trouble.

We've seen so many therapy failures on this website, maybe many of them due to the therapist's inability to mentalize?

It was interesting to see that in the second example, the patient made faster progress and the author seemed to connect that to the therapist being better at mentalization.

I like the way you said it, FMN, that it is the ability of the therapist to tap into the patient's moods and it corresponding with the patient's thinking at the time. I know that my T has often said to me, yes, I can see how you got there, when I've been upset. I'm guessing he was able to mentalize. And actually it was his inability to mentalize that got me to where I was in the first place.

By the therapist being one step ahead, could it mean that they would be able to offer alternative explanations for things that might be only one-step removed from where the patient is currently instead of, say, two steps (or staying the same)? And then the patient might be more able to make the mental leap if it's only one step away?

???? Your guess is as good as mine.

xoxo

Liese

Sorry echoes!

I think in a nutshell, to me anyway, it's simply about being very empathetically aware, enough to tap into the mood of the patient at the time and take a good objective and balanced standpoint of what the patient is going through. To be able to understand what he or she is going through as fully as possible.

I could be being dense here, but this sounds a lot like attunement and empathic understanding to me.

xoxo,

Did you mean me? That I'm looking for more ways for my therapist to fail me? Naaah, I am A-okay with my T. He's the best. You have no idea how much he was there for me this week, supporting me as I start my new job. I'm amazed and incredibly touched and blessed. He gave me a gift. The gift of his caring. Like the parent I never had.

I'm always working on mentalization. I'm actually glad I've read about it because I do believe just being aware of the fact that some people apparently do this and if I can do it, it will help me, has encouraged me to try to learn how to do it and it has helped me to grow. I'm starting to really become aware of my needs at the same time as other people's and to not feel overpowered but instead to respond in a genuine way that will benefit both of us. It's so cool to be able to do this and let go of old patterns. And it's also so cool to know that it is happening.

Read somewhere else that the ability to mentalize helps us to retain our minds into old age and meditation helps us to mentalize. You can bet I'll be incorporating meditation into my lifestyle within the next year. Don't want to put too much pressure on myself.

xoxo

Liese