It's been awhile since I've written anything, but I'm often in here keeping up to date with everyone's 'stuff'. I wanted to pop in this time and wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a New year filled with love, laughter, and productive therapy
Here's a little update on me. Last I was in I was having issues with sexual transference towards my P, but at the same time dealing with her hostilities during our sessions (she was a little Jekyll and Hyde like). Anyway, after just over a year of seeing her, I finally found some strength in me to quit in October. It was very VERY difficult for me and oddly I had taken up some stalker like behaviors that totally baffle me - because I'm not that kind of person (or at least I thought not). I decided (with the help from our couples T)that seeing a CBT might be more useful to me than a P (because I can't just TALK - I need direct questions). So at the beginning of December I started to see a T. I've only seen her a few times but I think she will be a good match for me - she's very open (offered me access to read her chart notes at any time!), and understands my difficulty in talking openly about myself and is willing to work with me to help. I think I've already told her more in three sessions than I ever told the P. The only problem with her is that she keeps wanting me to talk about my P and my feelings around that experience and for her .. which sure isn't helping me forget her!!!
I think that what is confusing this T is that I've never mourned the loss of a family member, but I am mourning the loss of this Dr. who was mean to me, I barely said anything to, and is old enough to be my mother! So that's obviously why shes probing for more, and maybe its worth looking at more closely .. who knows! What I know is that it will be a good journey with this T
Hi to all the new people that have joined since I've been Awol. I hope everyone is well and takes the time to embrace life and all those who are important in it.
Holz
