the anniversy of my brothers suicide is near. he is the only one who took care of me thru most of my childhood. i can never repay him now. im waiting for my sister-in-law to arrive. we struggle through it together. he was bi-polar but in a way to me he was my rock. i had other remarks about the role he played in my long ago therapy, but i just cant go on. i mmiss him a lot and think how it might have been if he could have accepted the limitations of his disease. the drugs never blocked the psychosis completely and he just couldnt fight it anymore. sad times for me, but happy just to remember him. he was a crack up and great comedian