Hello YOU Mr Muppet.

I only recall having 'teddy' and he was a gift from grandma. Teddy was thrown out at the request of Ma on one clean up day. Other stuff like 'How and Why' wonder books, and games like 'snakes and ladders' and a student desk, belonged to us kids as a whole. Mine were often practical gifts like clothes, or pushy bikes for school. Bro was the one for getting amazing toys though. Sis was into dolls, and clothes for them.

No material momentum's. No photo's, toys and such. I do have about 15 of my own teddies now , and surround myself with stuff I like such as OP's art, candles,collectors nick knacks, and books I may never read. Interesting, I never noticed I have stuff now that I couldn't have as a kid.

Does a shitload of vivid memories count?

(((AV)))

I've thrown out a TON of stuff over the years-- toys, clothes, books, awards, trophies, random knick knacks. They've gone in bags for the Goodwill, to friends, or straight into the trash. I'm the opposite of a pack rat in that I get a slight thrill from getting rid of things. I tell myself I like travelling through life light, but it's also the truth that I have mixed feelings about a lot of the memories those items evoked, and so did not feel very sentimental about them. Most of the stuff I'm surrounded with now has been acquired since my marriage-- wedding presents or things H and I have bought together. My feelings about these items are more uncomplicated and they make for a cozier environment.

I have kept a few things from the past:

a toy seal my grandma bought me while on vacation in Alaska
an album of photos of my grandma
grandma's watch, cameo necklace, and brown leather wallet
a pink, gray, and black coat my grandma bought me when I was one year old
grandma's perfume bottle and cold cream container
Gus and Jacques Christmas ornaments
a handful of coffee mugs I pinched from Mama when I moved out, so I could still have coffee

I think that's pretty much it. I suppose I am selectively sentimental. Thanks for posting this thread. It made me reflective.

P.S. AV, I was wondering if you are missing some tangible connections to your childhood, if perhaps you could manufacture some? Maybe find some things that were popular during your youth on ebay, or acquire some kind of souveniers from the geographical area you were raised in? Or collect some books that were old childhood favorites. It could be a way of honoring yourself and feeling some continuity with the past.

Just a thought.

I have lost many, many momentos of life prior, and as an avid book junkie, I took it upon myself to start finding some of those momentos that were books. I am pleased to say that after searching for quite a while, I found the name of two of my favorite childhood authors, and have since found several of their books, which I now cherish as I did when I was small.

My grandmother bought me a teddy that I called Charlie but I lost it when I was about 21, she died when I was 11, I still think about it now.

I don't have much of my own, but I have a tendancy to keep the kids stuff. First teddy etc.

quote:

It could be a way of honoring yourself and feeling some continuity with the past.

...HIC

YES!

AV
I've been thinking about this question a lot.
My parents saved a lot of our old toys for grand kids visits but a lot of stuff was lost in a flood w/ h2o damage. When my parents sold their farm about 5 yrs ago we were told to take what u wanted. My sis & I fought over Xmas balls especially the ones that were dated. I really wanted these bec I usually had good memories of Xmas. Otherwise there wasnt much of anything I could take bec our house is very small. I'm extremely sentimental & hated to see stuff given away.
For my 18th b day I was given a hope chest which I still have. But thru HS & college when I'd get severely depressed to punish myself I'd throw stuff out & make a big fire. A few things I regret, but my sentimentality can lead to deeper depression.
Last yr I had to go thru the chest & realized its full of triggers so again I threw stuff out (no place to burn) & started putting my kids things in there. Ive noticed that I'm getting squeezed out as I put more kid things in it. Things I don't wanto get rid of. Ive always been sentimental, but mine can go extreme. Not that I'd hoard, just that those memories are gone, there's nothing to touch, nothing visual & my memory is certainly not what it used to be. Then part of me screams that I've gone too far, this is ridiculous & I need to grow up & get over it. That voice pretty much wins every time.
Not sure if any of this made sense or was helpful but I liked the idea of trying to go back & claim those memories, find those toys that meant something. That could be a lot of fun hunting for them.

Thanks for asking this, AV, it's made me think. I have a few bits and pieces from when I was a child - I started organising and gathering memories when I was about 10. I think I knew I'd need them later!
I use photos, dancing shoes etc to remind me that I was a little girl once. It's helped me be alittle more compassionate towards myself.

My regret is that I don't have very much that connects me with my mother.

I do get the need to remember and hold onto stuff - I recently bought all Enid Blyton's Faraway Tree books to read - it reminded me how often I dreamt that I could suddenly arrive in a different world and leave reality behind!

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

(((Muff))) I recall gifts from my nan and granddad being more significant to me. Although they're gone; when my nan died I did acquire a pair of granddads gold cuff links and a glass ash tray from the last but one Royal Yacht (don't ask!) and they mean a lot to me.

(((HiC))) In a way I guess I have started doing that. I've been back to the area I grew up in once or twice and have a large framed photo I took on my dining room wall. It shows the school I went to aged about 6; plus I have a very old map of the county. I am starting to re-acquire some of the records I had as a kid too!

(((R2G))) I'm glad you were able to find some of the books from your childhood that meant so much to you; I hope you find in the future. Every week for a couple of years I bought a part work magazine called (I think) World of Wildlife or something. I got the binders to put them in and loved looking at those. It would take a miracle to find another full set of those I reckon.

(((Scarzee))) I hope you never forget 'Charlie'. Hang on to your kids stuff; they might ask you for them back one day!!

(((Mudd))) Yes, it all made sense The problem I have is that those few childhood memories I do have I'm either totally ambivalent about or would much rather forget altogether. Hmmm, maybe I've answered my question; and I'm better off not having the momentos in that case. Although I'm still pee'd off about not getting my telescope back; I saved up hard for that I'd rather stand in the garden for hours looking through the telescope, freezing my arse off, than be indoors.

(((Iris))) I admire your foresight and I'm glad you are able to use those things to give yourself a little compassion.

quote:

it reminded me how often I dreamt that I could suddenly arrive in a different world and leave reality behind!

Absolutely. I wouldn't be surprised if pretty much all of us here used to do just that. It would make an interesting thread topic on its own.

I'm thinking it wasn't so much foresight, but rather an attempt to make a coherent story - I was so confused about where I was born, who I "belonged" to, what happened, that I was maybe trying to put together a narrative I could make sense of.
I am really interested in how we (humans) use stories...

I hope you've got a telescope now, AV - I think there's a lot to be said for looking at the stars and feeling part of the universe.

Iris x

Thanks (((Iris)))

I don't have the telescope yet; but ironically only yesterday I found myself googling them to see what was suitable for attaching my camera to. It proved one thing though; boys will always be boys, it's just that their toys get more expensive!! I'll have to start saving up again!!

AV. xx

I have kept some stuff from childhood but have very little memory of anything else. Recently because my house was being sold against my wish, I realise that I keep things to help me form the memories. My T helped me realise this and she encouraged me to take stuff from the house and garden to help me feel connected to something. Then I notice that I have kept so much stuff from my kids' childhoods - i dont think they care about it, but I do.

As I have got older I have kept more stuff. I think because I don't have memories, I don't feel emotions, I shut off, I am disconnected from people and experiences - that I use objects to help me form those connections.

The more I think about it, the more far reaching this is for me.
Somedays

I don't have much, just some photo albums that we always moved around with. The rest of the things I could, I brought home with me. Some of my old clothes from my teens are still there, not necessarily for my benefit but because they were functional for when I'd visit. I didn't own many things, anything important to me that I still had when I left at 18 came with me. My parents keep Christmas ornaments that are important because it is a very well celebrated holiday. I have many cards, journals (some) or letters and such from younger that I hid. My mother, in her good moments, is very sentimental... I am very sentimental also but frequently purge myself of things I feel I no longer need, or as punishment to myself at times.

In the years after her retirement and before she passed away last year at age 77, my mother had been transcribing some of her journals. From the beginning of her marriage to my father, she wrote things down. Not always expansively, but always interestingly - at least now, to me, it is. While going through her papers after her death, I came upon her first "book." One entry made me smile: 9/12/54 - dust pan, .29 cents

It was a yellow, metal dust pan, and it was the dust pan that she had her whole life... until her second husband (who she didn't marry until age 70) threw it away and bought her a "better" one. She was so mad at him, because the "better" one didn't work well, and the old one was "perfectly good." I did some scavenging at yard sales and found another dust pan, same era, to replace the "better" one. Mom was happy to have a working dust pan but still miffed at her husband. And the thing had held its value quite well; I paid a quarter for it.

So, one thing I have from my childhood is a memory of the yellow dust pan and the ledger in which my mother recorded its purchase price in 1954.

Her journals, however, have provided a wealth of memories and she was conscientiously transcribing notes from our family vacations and pairing them with photographs my father took. She created a notebook for both my sister and me and added "chapters" when she finished a year.

She had also saved all my report cards, science fair ribbons, graduation programs, etc and put all of this together in a book for me. It's really fun to go back and read what the teachers wrote. Hard to imagine I could have been so wonderful.

As far as "things" that I've saved myself - mostly books. I do have a Thumbalina doll in a box somewhere. I called her "baby spaz" because she had a knob on the back that you could wind and her arms and legs would flail about.

But now, what do I do with this stuff? I have my mother's 4H pin and a variety of other things she saved from HER childhood. Neither I nor my sister have children to pass these things on to. So, I look at the THINGS and I ask what does it matter? I intend to give away as much of my "stuff" as possible. At least it will then go somewhere of my choosing. The alternative, I am sure, is Goodwill or an estate sale.

I've found something!!, I've found something!!

I was having a bit of a clear out today and I found a magazine I bought as a kid!! Dated May 1967, cost 1 shilling!! "Salute to Sir Francis" on becoming the first to sail solo around the world. I remember I was on holiday with my family when I got that magazine. It brings back strange memories as that holiday, along with most of the others, wasn't a wonderfully happy one. Still, at least I found it

How cool! That's really neat, AV. It's probably a collector's item too!

RabbitE

AV... so very glad you found something from childhood. It is at least that connection you were searching for.

My mom was great at throwing things out. She hated clutter and so when they were moving after I'd gotten married, I rescued a handful of very meaningful books from my childhood. I have read them to my son and it was very nice to do that. No one read them to me though. Only one book I remember my Dad reading to me when I was sick in bed around 8 or 9 years old. One of the books I rescued is very very old and I always loved the illustrations in it but I never knew any of the stories until I read them to my son. I guess the pictures were all I had to connect to because I couldn't read back then.

I also have a little stuffed dog named Christina. I cannot tell you how many times I took her out of the trash. My mom knew how important Christina was to me (I always slept with her) but she kept throwing her out because she was dirty. Well I still have her and she is still dirty but I don't care.

My mom surprisingly saved all my report cards and the baby bracelet from when I was born. And about 20 years ago she gave me my small Thumbelina doll that somehow survived her cleaning out binges. She gave it to me for Christmas with a new dress on it. I totally freaked out when she gave it to me. I had a really bad reaction that I still do not understand. Hmmmm.... maybe I need to tell T. I have her sitting in my bedroom but I don't go near it.

SD...My T always tells me that I have a strong connection to things because people in my life have always been dangerous and harmful and things were safe. So your feelings make total sense. We used things to comfort us because the people around us failed to do so.

TN

Took me a while to get around to this thread.

Almost all of my childhood stuff that was important to me was at my grandmas and ended up getting thrown away by my mom after she died. My hand-painted horses, she gave to my little sisters when they were two small to play with them and they broke the legs off of half of them, but I still have the whole bunch, which I got back somehow after college. I also have one stuffed kitty cat. When I looked through some old photo albums, I was surprised to find one really old report card, a hand-drawn birthday card I had made, and one school assignment had been kept. My mom at some point found time to make albums, so obviously she cared in some way. So, there are some photos of me, though most I got from my dad's photos he inherited after his mom died.

Anyway, I'm very glad to have the horses and my kitty, but I lost a ton of really important momentos from my grandmas house. My mom was jealous that my "grandma" stole me (she was the closest thing I have to an attachment figure), so I wonder how much of that was intentional, even if unconscious. Oh, I did have one of my basketball trophies left too, from junior high. I lost all of my volleyball and all the other basketball ones, but one survived, which was cool. Somehow they sneaked into a box with the horses and a bunch of other random stuff that didn't get tossed (mostly old clothes and books).