Hi Anna

I've had 'free' therapy and private paying therapy. It does feel different...

When you dont pay (nhs in UK or charity) you know you have no say when it is closed. They can just say 'this is finished' and there is nothing you can do. This has happened to me.

However, it can be complicated to pay for a relationship. I struggled with feeling the relationship wasn't 'real' - that I was simply buying her apparent interest. And, when I lost my job, I lost my T... so again it was finished, because I could no longer pay for services...

Does that help

SB

Hi thanks SB .

Happy to have your opinion, I would like to have few more opinions, Did ever feel like you did not have so much to say about your therapy, I feel little bit lost and strange , .

Hi Anna, I had various experiences with variously 'free' therapy:
- as a child, the therapy was funded by the French equivalent NHS, so it was free and lasted for years. HOWEVER money was always part of the relationship, even if only symbolically, I'd pay $1 every session, including those cancelled weeks in advance, which always made me amgry. But it was sort of a token for the boundaries: she was not my friend.
- random T, after 3 sessions and knowing I was a student, offered me to be paid in drawings (as i often bring drawings about therapy in session). It puzzled me to no end: how could I respect the therapeutic work if it was only worth drawings, childish stuff? I never went back.
- current T: there is a sliding scale so i dont pay the full price, but... For me, it is important to pay. i could have access to free therapy through my university but I feel too underserving for that.

So I guess that for me, paying is my way to feel less underserving of the care I receive in therapy, more than about the difference in the services offered. Not sure it really helps but... Here it is.

Thanks about .
I feel like this, .

I've had a number of sessions that turned out to be free, simply because organization is not my Ts strong suit. She normally has a receptionist, but in between the time she lost one and hired another I suspect her record keeping became very out of order, because she stopped billing me for phone sessions. I reminded her a few times of the sessions I hadn't paid for, and she kept putting me off, so eventually I let it go. You can't *make* somebody charge you.

While all that was going on, it did impact the way I perceived the therapy. I think this evidence of T's floundering without a receptionist felt like an endearing foible, but it also made me a little skeptical of her, truth to be told.

The new receptionist runs a tight ship and I find I like things better that way.

As far as the larger question goes, I do think I would be okay receiving free therapy through a charity or something if I felt it was needed. As long as the T was getting paid somehow. . . if it was a one on one agreement for free services, I'd worry about resentment, feelings of obligation (on either side) etc. That's just me.

Do what works and is possible to get well!

Thanks for your replies my T quit in a clinic where I got it free for some years and that’s ok, but now I see my T in T private office , we were meeting weekly and it helped me huge, now I saw my T and my T said 1 week was too much , every 2 weeks is better and that I was doing better, I could instead mail him if things were not ok,

I feel powerless because I don’t pay him, I am very grateful not to pay because I don’t have money for therapy, I just feel powerless and he could have asked me what I would like to have it , not just every 2 weeks and that’s that.

Anna,
I think post from What a Shrink Thinks might shed some light and give you insight into how you are feeling.

what a shrink thinks: What You Pay For

AG