I have a question on what to do about my relationship with my mother.

She grew up with a hard life and hating her mother. She was in charge of raising her 2 younger sisters, got pregnant with me young, and was always in control of everything. She is very demanding, loud, controlling, hard headed, and when she gets mad is verbally abusive.

All my life she has controlled everything i did from what classes to take, where i went, who i was talking to, what my dad did, said, who he hung out with. When my aunts or grandparents had something to do the called her and asked her what she wanted them to do. Me and my sister both agree that we cannot stand her and cannot wait until we are able to move out(we are both still very young, her 17 and me 21).

My mother yells at my sister, but i have come to think that because she is so hard headed and sensitive that my mother does not try to push her too much.

However when i have gotten in trouble i have been called names such as a pig, disgusting piece of sh**, fu***** idi**, jackass, b***h, that i disgust her, she cant believe what kind of person i am, the list goes on. She has also pushed door into my face while i was standing close enough for them to hit me, in high school i was hit hard enough to have bruises on my arm, shoulder and chest, as well as scratched in the shape of her hand.

Not once have i ever gotten an apology for the way she has lashed out at me. Regardless of the attitude i have given her or the times that i did not clean something, didnt clean something right, rolled my eyes or did something she did not want me to do or not do something she wanted me to do and left with friends to go out, hose are normal kid things. never have i called her a name back, touched her, or went without apologizing.

She has a very short temer and just me tapping my pencil while studying is enough for her to tell me to shut the f**k up. Or the time i put chile on top of my dads dinner instead of in it she didnt talk to me the entire night because shes disgusted how i could not get something simple right when she does everything right for me. The were honest mistakes with no intent on hurting anyone.

I am constantly anxious and stressed that i have forgotten something and if i did how will she react? Or i worry that me talking about my boyfriend too much will annoy her again and she will yell at me saying that i put him in front of everyone and that i am a selfish b***h.

She is nosy and listens to any phone calls i am making, interrogates me about work and what has happened through every part of my day and if i dont give her vivid details she says im a little sh*t and she cant believe how heartless i can be sometimes.

i understand that she does anything she can to put me through school and buys me whatever i want and things like that, but what price do these things come with when i tell her not to give me money shes mad i wont take it and if i do then shes throwing it in my face later that im greedy and an awful person, all because i probably forgot to wipe a counter in the kitchen.

when i was younger i was living with my stepdads parents. im closer to my stepdad then her and do not know my real father because she would never tell me. however his family did not want me living there, his mother was verbally abusive and if i cried i was told to suck it up and move on. i was picked on and called names by his family members and didnt want to live there, and not once did my mom say we were leaving until the day his mother hit HER in the face.

my mom was very stressed during her pregnancy with me dealing with her grandma dying of cancer, her bring young and my dad not being around. her mother wasnt a good mother and she was left to deal with it on her own. i know stress is bad for your baby and thats why i feel that i have the problems i do.

i was also molested as a child by an uncle. mentally i can only remember flashes, even then i have a hard time to this day dealing with it. my mom says im stupid for letting it bug me now. on top of all this i was also picked on in school and when i finally got a boyfriend he was abusive to me for 3 years before i left. i finally now have a boyfriend that protects me from my mom but there is only so much he can help me with since we are so young.

in high school i went through anorexia, bullemia, depression, cutting, and my first year of college i drank 15 tylenols (my genius self not knowing it wouldnt work). i was also addicting to huffing computer cleaner for 3 years of my high school years.

to this day me and my mom fight constantly. i have started to voice up with her, only to realize it makes us worse and unable to stand eachother. since i was little i constantly felt the need to lie and not tell her anything and i feel that way today. What can i do to have a better relationship or what is the problem and what can i do to make my mom be loving to me like she is with my sister? HELP!!!!