My P is having surgery!!

emogirlMember

I found out last week that my P is having surgery on Monday of next week. I see him regularly every other week and it happens to NOT fall on the week that I see him, thankfully. He should be back on the following wed, my appt day, if all goes well. I am so worried though that something will happen and he won't be in the office for my next appt. I am not overly worried that something catastrophic will happen, just that he won't feel up to working that soon after his surgery. I tried to schedule an extra appt with him the following week but he is already booked because of all the appts he had to reschedule due to his week of absence due to surgery.
Also, he won't be available by phone either during that week of surgery. It makes me very anxious knowing that his support is unavailable for next week.
I'll be checking the site regularly to try to get through without any major anxiety reactions.
Thanks for listening.

emogirl

11/13/094:58 AM

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zMember

My T went on a retreat this summer and was unavailable for a week. I wasn't in any way concerned for his health, but OMG the idea that I couldn't reach him was unsettling!

11/13/097:37 AM

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amazonMember

I suspect that my T got married this summer. When I started therapy in spring I didn't see the ring. I don't know if it was there or if I just didn't pay any attention to it. 2-3 months ago I noticed the ring. I asked him if he's married. So of course I feel a bit jealous, but I try not to pay to much attention to this fact, because what is the point?

11/13/092:55 PM

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True NorthCo-moderator

Emogirl... my T had surgery last year which caused me to miss one appointment with him. I was very worried about him even though it was not major surgery, it was outpatient surgery but because of his importance in my life I was anxious. The actual day of his surgery I was pacing and nervou and I finally sat down and wrote him an email and sent it explaining how I was feeling. The next day I got a response from him reassuring me that he was just fine and that he understood. I was greatly relieved after that and I was able to tolerate the wait for my next session without too much angst.

Did you ask your T if you could email? Is this major surgery? My T told me what his was for because he knows me and how I panic so his self-disclosure was purely for my benefit.

I'm sure it will all be fine. In the meantime, we are here to listen.

TN

11/13/096:17 PM

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emogirlMember

Thanks for everyone's responses.

TN He told me that he will be in the hospital 3-4 days. He also told me the nature of the surgery and it doesn't seem too bad, but with a 3-4 day hospital stay I don't know. It is laprascopy. He doesn't allow email, only phone calls. I don't want to bother him during his recovery. I will be trying my best to use my strategies to get through by myself until he's available again. I hope he is right when he tells me he'll be back in the office by the date of my next appt.

11/14/097:00 AM

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jonesMember

Deja Vu, that sounds *really* rough!! Can you say more about how it changed your perspective on your work?

11/14/099:12 PM

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jonesMember

That's a really strange set of experiences, Deja Vu - and now your name takes on new meaning, thinking about those uncanny parallels between your dad & P! You describe all this really vividly, it's fascinating to read.

I think I would find it very unsettling to finally have such an intimate window onto the P's life at the very moment when he was really gone. And for me personally, if I had to experience that, I would have wanted the funeral to show how PERFECT he was, to reflect only good things about him so that I could hold on to the gains I'd made.

There's a funny sort of resonance through all those bits of the story... transference and mistaken identities and hidden identities....

11/15/099:31 PM

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strummergirlMember

Thanks for sharing more about your experiences, Deja Vu. You have had some pretty unusual and difficult circumstances in therapy and I'm sorry to hear about all the pain it has put you through.

A good friend and I were just talking the other night about how dogs are so wonderful, because where else can you get that much unconditional love? So I just had to smile at this: