Hi all

I just needed to announce here that I have suffered a sad personal loss of someone who I was very close to. Some of you may know the story of this person who was someone I was very attached to for a number of years but who lived in another country. I would see him every year and we worked together long distance for a number of years. This was not a T.

I became very attached to him before I understood what attachment was and I was always confused and puzzled about my feelings for him which were intense yet at times child like. He made me feel safe, he inspired me, he made me laugh and scream and cry. We had similar backgrounds and that is what attracted me I think. When I tried to tell him how i felt he got scared and ran from me. I know he didn't understand either.

Today we got news via phone that he died suddenly from a massive heart attack. I have regrets and unfinished business that will now never be finished.

Some of you know the story of my vacation last year when I saw him. It was a visit that did not go smoothly. But even though he didn't see me to the airport as he always did in the past, the last time I saw him we hugged each other good-bye tightly and for a long time. We spoke different languages and it was sometimes hard to communicate but I do hope that last hug communicated to him that despite our conflicts that I did love him and always would. We were just not good for each other in some ways.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that I probably won't be reponding on the posts on OF for a little bit until I feel up to being supportive again. Didn't want anyone to think I disappeared or was ignoring them.

Thanks
TN