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3 replies

my sessions are TOO long!

S sadlyMember
I know this is a most bizarre post, but my sessions are now two hours long and even though I said at the outset that I can cope with one and a half hours, they have sort of slipped from one and quarter hours (his initial time proposal) to two hours long.

And of course, because I miss my sweet P HUGELY and painfully imbetween sessions, when I hit one and half hours, (and want to GO HOME I am so worn out,) I just CANNOT say, "Can we stop here?" as I know I have been pining for him for at least three days, so walking out is not an option. It feels like a luxury to be in the same room as him.

I know you will all say "you will have to tell him." I have told him. He will say " Of course" and then re timetable to one and a half hours and then the weeks when two hours is necessary, - I will have shot myself in the foot. Argh, the curse of flexibility.

So I am trying to build up my ability to last out two hours, by having rests a lot, where he talks and I just slump for a while, (I can listen to what he is saying later on the recording).

It is a most unusual situation to be in. I find it quite funny really. Manageable but a little tricky at times.

IT is the same on the phone, often I just need a quick chat to hear his voice, but he starts talking about things and I am too polite to say "can we end now please?" though actually, looking back I have done that several times for phone calls. It is easier somehow on the phone to ask to end.

And I know some of you have strong views that a therapy hour should be fifty minutes, and that is what you do, that is what suits you and so you advocate it for all, but actually I seem to be in the strange position of not actually getting going much for ages, no matter HOW hard I try. I asked my previous T and this P about this, and they said it is because so much is happening in my life that I am trying to process and also so much is being triggered that I am sometimes just processing daily life stuff the first hour and when I have got that out of the way, I move to the deeper issues.

Anyway, I cannot really complain as I am getting this help free and sweetP is very very good. Him giving me too much time is a problem I can happily live with I guess. Smiler
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ladygreyladygreyMember
Sadly,

I was doing 1.5 hour sessions twice a week with T2 for a while but have decided to go back to 45 minutes. 1.5 hours was really good for a while, but after a few months of that, I felt like it was starting to be too much for a single session.

I think you need to pay attention to how you are feeling and tell your T that you are so grateful for what he gives you, but you are wanting to cut back a bit on the length of the sessions. I don't think you will seem ungrateful or unappreciative in any way by voicing it in this manner. I'm sure he will appreciate your honesty and feedback.
yakusokuyakusokuMember
T has been more consistent with going an hour with me, usually only running over by five minutes. Our phone session today was 80 minutes and it felt like 50 to me. A lot of fuzziness in the middle of it, so I think I was blanking a bit.

I think, if I could choose the sessions that felt the best in terms of being able to get most things processed from all the perspectives they need to be and still have time to close up safely, about 90 minutes were the ideal ones. Anything less feels very short (lots of blanking and freezing contributing to that and so much pressure to "get stuff out" in the shorter period), and anything longer makes me just too exhausted.
S sadlyMember
I feel that my view that 90 minutes is a good standard time and only run over when there is mega stuff being processed, has been affirmed here by you guys - so thankyou.

I am not sure I will tell him because I look back and remember telling him before and it just gets awkward keeping on telling him and he is doing the lengthening of sessions in my best interests, but I have finished a session myself, I just get my shoes on and that signals " enough!"

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