(((Anna)))
So sorry that your T will be gone so long! Mine has already given me a heads-up that he may be unavailable next week, and I'm mentally gearing myself up for it.
Last summer, my T had a massive stroke just a few hours after our appointment, and he wasn't expected to survive. I was devastated!! In a very selfish way, I might add, because all I could think about for weeks was just the following: "what if I never see my beloved again; how will I go on without him?!" And "what kind of pain and trauma is he enduring - I want to be there, holding his hand and helping him through this!"
Sidenote - my father suffered the same stroke just a few months earlier, and at that last session with T, he was actually asking a lot of questions about my dad's experience. (both are fitness buffs, close in age, etc.)
I still wonder to this day if something had led him to ask about my father's experience at that particular appointment, not realizing he would fall victim to the exact same kind of stroke just hours later.
Both are true miracles to this day, but I guess my real point is that for a long time, all I knew was that he was suddenly and horribly snatched from my life; I felt lost and alone, for no one understood what I was going through, and my heart longed to be at his bedside, somehow healing him.
I think Ninna's ideas for a feeling of continuance are spot-on, and would add that perhaps your T could give you a homework assignment to do over the break. Mine had given me an ED-related assignment befor his stroke, and you beyer believe I held on to that like it was all I had left of him. (it could have been) I still do it, actually.
But hang in there, girl. Think about what you could "hold on to" during the break - either something tangible, like a pen he could let you borrow, or something in his handwriting, or a task you could focus on. (Mine has me reading Emotional Intelligence right now.)
Sorry to be so long, but I do hope you'll find some way to alleviate the struggle.
Blessings,
Starry
