Well, I would need to start looking at my T a bit more to remember......

Mine nods her head occasionally, but she does cock her head to whatever side I am looking at and when I cry she leans in a bit and has a concerned look.

That is the limit to what I get out of her. Sometimes she gets a big look on her face (sorry don't know what even to call the emotion).

I have a clergyman friend who is a head nodder and an ah-ha, mmmm, kind of guy. He was upset to find out that I had a therapist and wondered why I didn't confide in him and talk to him about my worries. In fact, he almost had an outburst when I said I was paying for my therapy!

I just cannot tell him that nodding and hm-ing and ha-ing doesn't help me in the slightest, I just told him that I needed some expert help.

He hasn't said anything about the new T.

I think he is upset because I have known him for most of my life and we do talk deeply about nearly everything, few holds barred!

I just hope I have been tactful enough.

quote:

Originally posted by Draggers:
good to see you posting HG! hope you are settling in.

Thanks Draggers, I am

quote:

My new T is a terrible nodder.she reminds me of one of those nodding dogs you can get to put in your car.

That is what I thought of too when I saw this thread lol

Hi Inis, I hope you won't be offended but your subject line made me laugh. Not laughing at you, just the fact that T's have this stereotype for a reason, eh?

My T is not a frequent head nodder, only occasionally does she do it. When she does do it, however, its usually accompanied by a tight-lipped smile as though she's trying to suppress her thoughts from being known, even though obviously I said something that she found to be funny or ironic. I can't quite imagine what she looks like cocking her head, so not sure how often she does that. Now I am going to have to pay close attention! But I guess what it means is that my T doesn't really have any mannerisms or postures which bother me or particularly stand out. She seems "real" to me, not like an actor.

Does your T's head nodding seem insincere or distant to you? And when you say you don't get any feedback, can you expound upon that? Does she flat out refuse to answer your direct questions? Or does she just like you to do most of the talking? I know that many people think the best T's are the ones who let you do most of the talking and aren't in love with their own voice; however, if I had a T who never gave any feedback whatsoever it would drive me away. I need more than a mere trace of humanness inside that office with me! I don't want a completely blank slate.

Have you tried expressing your need for feedback? And what do you hope for by the term "feedback"? If you mean you want your T to tell you what to do and reveal to you all her personal opinions, it would probably be better if she didn't. If you just want her to share some insight or thoughts occasionally, I think that is very reasonable. Can I ask how long you have been seeing her? If you are in the very beginning sessions, maybe she's just taking things slow before she decides what is most helpful to say.