((((SD))))

quote:

but I feel so bad and guilty about this - that my issues have forced her to do this.

Maybe you are helping her to grow? From what you have said about her inconsistencies, she sounds a bit disorganized. Maybe she's got pleaser tendencies as well and promises things she can't deliver. They don't sound like very serious issues but definitely things she needs to work on in order to be a better T. You are helping her to become a better T.

It sounds like she is taking your complaints seriously and is working to rectify her part in the problem. She told you so that you know she isn't blaming you for the ruptures. She's owning up to her role in the events. She's the T. She shouldn't be causing you so much distress.

Why not ask her what the focus is on with the supervisor? You need to ease your mind. It would freak me out as well if I knew T was seeing a supervisor because of me. (Although at times, really wished he did and had.)

I don't think they are sitting there saying, oh, that SD, she's too much, etc. My best guess is how she can change her behavior so as not to cause you additional stress.

Hi Somedays
I don't think this situation equates with that of your exT. This T sounds excellent and caring and professional enough to seek assistance in areas that she's not perhaps totally experienced with - that's great to me. She wouldn't be talking about you by name - it would more likely be 'situational'?? You do have a solid relationship and I love her commitment to you.

Again, don't be afraid of going to your next session but do try and talk this through with her.

Take care.

(((( SD )))) I can very much relate to what you’re describing, and it makes total sense that such a situation would completely freak you out, given what happened with previous T.

Can I say though that Ts generally ought to be in supervision as a matter of course. I think it could be different elsewhere, but in UK that’s standard and I believe a condition of acceptance on some of the official therapist registers. As such, a T seeking supervision oughtn’t be a threat to the therapy itself because it’s very much a support for the T and a professional requirement as well. It’s also wound about with strict confidentiality requirements.

Not sure that that’s terribly reassuring to you though, as it sounds like your T isn’t in regular supervision and has taken herself off to seek supervision specifically in order to deal with your therapy. That’s the bit that I can understand perfectly would be freaking you out. The idea that your T has ‘issues’ with your therapy, and that you have issues which pose potential problems for her, that sounds very threatening.

I think it’s good though that your T IS seeking help in order to help you, and in a way there’s a plus too in her being open and honest about it with you. Not sure that I would want to know though because like you I would be imagining worst case scenarios all the time. The obvious thing to do is be as open and honest with T about how all this is making you feel – it’s very much in her favour that she is so willing to go the extra mile to help you, and that she sounds totally committed to your healing – no ego involved there, as Liese says, it’s great that she’s humble enough to admit that she needs a bit of extra help in sorting her own issues and inexperience out.

Sorry I meant to be supportive and I think I’ve ended up feeding into your fears. I hope you are able to discuss this with her, you’ve achieved a lot so far with this T and if you can just hang in there and keep plugging away, I’m sure this will work out really well for you. Fears notwithstanding!

Lots of hugs to you (((( SD ))))

LL