what on earth happened Turtle?
Talk to us we are here for you xx

I am crying so hard I can't see.

I told her friday on the phone that I was worried. That I felt that my life was in danger. She said "You know how to take care of yourself" and hung up.

I got angry and called her back and told her I was so angry and told her I was so worried and that she failed me.

She did not respond for days. I emailed and asked if blew it. She finally emailed and said that I had and said this was her goodbye email. I feel so hopeless. I told her I love her and that I was so sorry. My sister called her. She told my sister that she cared about me, was worried about me but that she could not help me.

turtle, how horrible! Big hugs to you, seriously. Wish I could say something that could be of use. Keep writing here and getting your feelings out if that is helpful to you. People are listening and care.

Did you have any idea this was coming or was it out of the blue?

turtle!!! that is horrendous!
Remember you are worthy and loved and you can find the help you need to get better. This is your T's failing, not yours.
Hugs xx

So very sorry Turtle. So hard to be where you are at right now. Wondering myself how many truly competent T's are left in this world and how to find one of them without a lifetime of suffering through trial and error.

((Turtle))

How very awful. I am so sorry you are hurting this way. Please keep reaching out. If you are truly worried for your safety then go to the hospital. There are good people there that will help you find the support you need.

Thinking of you

Jillann

(((((people))))))

I am still sobbing......

Trying to pull it together.

turtle... I am so sorry for what happened to you. It's sounds like your T was in over her head and was not capable of doing her job. It's not you, it's her shortcomings that caused this to happen. You can be helped and I believe you can get well. You just have to find the right T. Sometimes it takes a lot of trial and error to make that special connection. We are here for you in the meantime and it would be good for you to keep writing here and letting your emotions flow here with is where it is safe.

Like Jillann said, please get to a hospital if you feel your life is in danger.

I also think it's unethical for a T to terminate via email (been there) and without providing 3 references for you. Otherwise it's abandonment of a client and you can report her. Did she ever mention termination before and did she provide references?

Sending you supportive hugs.
TN

i am so sorry (((turtle)))! i can't imaging the pain you must be going through. she appears to be quite imcompetent and unable to deal with her own feelings or empathize. what an awful way to quit on a client! in spite of the hurt and anger and confusion you must be feeling, please try to take good care of yourself. come here if it helps, cuz people here care about you. i care about you! gentle hugs (((turtle)))

quote:

what an awful way to quit on a client!

((((turtle)))) I am at a loss for words. I'm so sorry you've been treated this badly.

I hope her behavior is a reportable offense and that you will report it. IMO she is in the wrong profession and should not be allowed to work in it again.

Please know, turtle, that this is HER failure, and no matter what happened, you did NOT deserve to be treated that way.

Please be safe; stay here with us while you cope with the pain.

((((turtle))))
RabbitEars

Still reading through massive tears.


Will respond more when tears ease up...

I can't stop crying

(((((turtle)))))

I am so sorry!!! I can't believe your T would do that to you. Nothing you did warranted being terminated, turtle. Nothing. No T should act like your T did.

Turtle

I actually know how you feel and what you are going through. I wish I didn't. I was terminated similar to this 2 years ago and tried desperately to get her to reconsider. My H contacted her as well and a mutual colleague. it was a major desperate attempt for me to keep her. I begged and begged.

She didn't reconsider.

I truly know your pain.

The 2 year anniversary is in a couple of weeks and a lot of memories and issues are stirring for me about it.

What is it about August and T's terminating us? TN too, has her anniversary very soon.

Turtle, take it 1 minute at a time. That is all you can manage.

Somedays

Turtle, this is awful. I agree with TN; she is in over her head and that's all about her inabilities. I also agree that she should have done this in person, and give referrals. Keep talking here and do.what you need to stay safe, hospital, talking here, support from your sister. We're here with you.

So sorry for you turtle, she did not offer you the decency of even an explanation when you were distressed ....definitely her problem, but I am so sorry about the dreadful effect it is having on you.

I am so sorry Turtle. Your T has acted horribly and I can't imagine how much you are hurting right now. I am thinking of you.

(((Turtle))) My heart goes out to you. I have been in that exact situation - also by e-mail with no reason and absolutely no further contact, and all I can say is that I am sooooo sorry that you have to go through this. NOBODY should have to go through that. I find myself getting soooo angry with these T's that do that. They clearly don't understand the level of pain they are causing. (Funny I never got angry with my T though, most probably because I would have done anything for her to come back). Turtle this is a very long and difficult road to travel and you are going to need support. Just keep writing down your thoughts and I know for a fact that each of us that have been through a termination will understand where you are coming from, and the others on the forum will no doubt be equally as supportive. It's not easy Turtle and no words that I write are going to take away your pain, but know that we are thinking of you. Lots of hugs to you.



B2W

Shakes head again.

You guys have no idea how important your support is to me right now. To hear from you means the world to me. I am crying so much I feel I will shrivel up from dehydration. I am so sad to hear that others have gone through this too. It is not right.

I have resorted to begging. I begged her to at least let me say goodbye to her. OMG this is so painful.

No it isn't right Turtle, in fact it is disgusting!

I has mint choc ice cream for you Turtle for when you feel better.

turtle
i am so sorry that you are dealing with this, as for T well there are no words strong enough there

keep posting here for support

gentle

pingles

(((((turtle)))))
I'm sorry, I will never understand others negligence. Please keep safe.

My heart goes to you. I can't even start imagining how she thought it might be ethical or okay to do that. Stay safe, and please know that she is the one at fault.

(((turtle))) thinking of you and sending gentle hugs! keep talking here and keep safe!

I begged for about 5 days and previous to that begged, screamed and cried (in total shock) for 2 hours in person when she told me I was terminated (with no warning). On the 5th day she answered by email that no she would no reconsider but would offer 1 hour closure session.

It gets better Turtle, it really does. It gets better.
SD

(((TURTLE)))

That's horrible!! I'm so sorry this happened to you. Sending love and hugs.

((((turtle)))) I am so sorry.

((((turtle))))

hang in there. keep in touch with us.

we share all your feelings right now. so many of us have been in your shoes, and we know well the anguish. you did nothing to warrant her treatment. she failed YOU. big time. I am so angry on your behalf.

Turtle, Sending you thoughts of strength. My heart is breaking for you, with you. Please let us know how you are doing. Stay with us, for our support, love and encouragement.

I am so scared today. I am having anxiety attacks. I was in a group that meets today. I was able to join the group because my T is in the leaders consultation group. I don't know if I am welcome there anymore now. I don't know if I can go there today. Even if I went I would probably cry the whole time. I don't have a lot of support right now and that group was so important to me. I am devastated. I see your responses through my tears and they matter to me. It matters to me that you guys care so much. I am so scared.

(((Turtle)))

There are a lot of people here who care.

Turtle...pls keep posting here and let us know how you're doing. While I'm not in the best place today, I can only image what you're having to go thru right now. Please know you're in my and li'l one's thoughts.

The Kid

I am so angry that this kind of thing keeps happening over and over and over again to people on this forum, and who knows how many countless others that we don't know about? If it were me, I would be tempted to show up at the group and let everyone there know how you have been unethically terminated. If other T's find out about it, who are your T's colleagues, it might put some pressure on her to at least give you a termination session and references. It would make it harder for her to get away with. Of course, I know you cannot help but hope for more than that. I could not help it either. I was semi-successful in getting my T to take me back after the first termination, only for her to terminate me by email AGAIN a few months later. Yet part of me still hopes that one day my T will speak to me again, even after all the grief she has caused me. I hate it that she has that power over me, to cause such suffering. So sorry for your pain Turtle.

awww ((((turtle)))) i'm so sorry...
i used to think your T sounded rather harsh but this is unbelievable!
keep writing here, we are all here for you!

gentle hugs,
puppet

(((Turtle))) I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I'm thinking of you.

Daisy.

I'm really sorry this happened to you Turtle.

Sometimes T's do have to refer on clients if they are unable to keep their own stuff out of the therapy room, or they don't have the expertise the client needs. But... wow... there are ways to do it and that needs to be with careful consideration in consultation with their own supervisor and with mindful attention to the ending and the clients' feelings and safety. My head is exploding.

I am so very sorry you have experienced this. It can be very easy to get into the kind of head space where you believe this kind of treatment is down to your own character flaws, that you deserve it - but it is the responsibility of the therapist to treat the client with care and respect regardless of what is going on for them personally. That's the bottom line. If she really felt she couldn't carry on, she at least needed to provide a referral.

Take gentle care of yourself. Horrible surprises like this can send people into shock, which distorts our thinking, so be really careful when you're out and about and, easy as it is for me to say, try not to buy into thoughts telling you that this is your fault.

Mallard

She finally sent me another email message. Explained that She felt I had been continually depressed and miserable (her words) since she started seeing me and that she felt it was time for me to find a new therapist because she wasn't helping me. I mean I get to some degree what she is saying. I have been miserable the whole time I have been seeing. Bad behaviors have been increasing rather than decreasing. I have noticed it etc. But geez she could have allowed me to say goodbye or helped me find someone else. This is where I feel she is getting anger out at me or something. If she is paying me back it worked.

The problem is I have had so many losses over the last 4 years that any loss particularly this one causes me to go into a series of anxiety attacks. I feel afraid to be in my home (I live alone) I keep going outside so I don't have to be in my home. I never drink alcohol but last night I drank to get some sleep.

I want to address each of you for your kind supportive words and hugs. I am so exhausted. Today I had a blood transfusion because my iron stores are so low I could hardly get around. The transfusion gave me a burst of energy. I wish I was spending it on happy things not crying. Yet I am still tired. So I feel kind of bad not addressing each of you individually. But please know I have read all of your words and taken them in and been uplifted by them. I have even cried as I felt your support. I must go outside now.

I am having waves of various feelings over take me. I go from panic to anger to acceptance to wanting to beg her and on and on. These are coming at me rapidly. You are right Mallard my thoughts are getting distorted.

Edit ~ I added more text.

You guys are the best. I swear you are.

I hope you find some energy to report her Turtle. Otherwise, other depressed people will suffer from her 'treatment.'

((((Turtle))) Even if she was justified in needing to refer you to someone else (and frankly, her being frustrated doesn't cut it) she handled it in a highly reprehensible manner. I am sorry you are so hurt and in pain. xx AG