Hi Blanket Girl
Once I was so not brave (and still very much am not)
In fact it took stages and great effort for me to finally reveal my wants to my T. And Am SO glad I did. I think back on all those missed hugs...
So I want to help. (And hopefully you won't think I'm being too pushy or insensitive)
I first started with this Boundaries Questionnaire below:
Boundaries Verbal:
Y N Allows self-disclosure?
Y N Discuss personal feelings, problems, or fears?
Behavioral:
Y N Accepts gifts?
Y N Gives gifts?
Y N Accepts hugs?
Y N Gives hugs?
Y N Allows text messaging?
Y N Returns text messages?
Y N Allows emails?
Y N Returns emails?
Y N Attends personal events?
Y N Does out of office therapy?
Y N Does phone sessions?
Y N Over accommodates for the client’s schedule?
Y N Enter a therapeutic relationship with family, friends or acquaintances?
Y N Call or visit ill patient in hospital?
Y N Lend a book or DVD?
Y N Selling or buying items to or from clients?
Spatial:
Y N Allows touch?
Y N Works within close distances?
Misc:
Y N Do you consider your boundaries flexible or rigid?
Y N Speaks to clients out in public if your paths happen to cross?
And I told her I just wanted to ask these questions for the sake of knowing so that I wouldn't accidentally try to cross a boundary unknowingly. Some were hard to ask, but I just tried stating each one matter-of-factly.
So you're more than welcome to use this list only if you want to. But maybe it could help and to know what is or isn't completely off-limits. I'll admit though, I did get a number of "that depends on the situation" from her on some things.
Then after that, I started this thread and eventually printed it out and showed it to her. She agreed to some things and I think it has been more of a relief. I worried a lot about being rejected. And I suppose I have been, in a way, for some of the things she can't/won't do but I do feel better in knowing.
I think someone actually showed my list to their T. In sort of a "look what this completely other girl with a completely other T wants. Isn't this interesting?" sort of way. So it's less about you and more about what people want (these weird cafe'rs you chat with, not you, no
)
Again, only if you want. But you totally do not have to. I tend to be overzealous in my "helping" and am trying to get over it.
And I hope you're not in too much pain from the wrist. please take care