I hope nobody reads this and feels like they have to defend themselves. That is not what this forum is about.

That said, it's nice to meet you! Like the Kierkegaard quote.

I apologize if this came across as harsh to you, I was merely expressing my opinions/observations.

You have clearly walked a different path in life to me and it is great that you had a secure and happy childhood.

Also you have to take into account that this is an international forum and each country has different therapist, different qualifications and different training. IN this country the equivalent of your MD's / psychiatrists - they do not do therapy at all - basic CBT and medication checks only - so they are useless for any ongoing therapy.

Maybe to help understand more - you could research a little so you can understand where everyone is coming from. From my experience and personal processing - I absolutely relate to most of the people posting here - so for those who have complex trauma, attachment disorder, abuse, CSA, DID issues - I actually think everyone on here is pretty normal

It is hard to open up to and trust our therapists because some of us have been abused severely by parents or adults - over a very long period of time and cannot trust another human being as we are expecting to be beaten and abused again.

My abuse started in-utero making me hard wired for attachment problems - let alone what happened to me AFTER I was born.

I am a broken person and feel I do not have a future - I do not relate to people, do not find happiness in things or things to look forward to. I have a narrow range of emotions. Talking to another person about my problems isn't a matter or ironing out a few kinks - i actually have to start my brain development off from a newborn again and learn to trust another human being, learn how to be touched on my skin by another, learn how to accept care, learn how to stay in a relationship, learn some emotions and then practice all this for about 10 years before I can start to heal. Once I start to do this, then the neuro chemistry of my brain will change and new pathways will be formed and my brain can continue its development and I might be able to become less broken.

Medication doesn't fix any of my issues and nor does reading, listening to music, massage or walking along a beach. But very long term, regular therapy with a attachment / trauma therapist is what I need to fix my brain wiring.

A lot of the stories you read here on the forum are from people with complex issues and they need intensive help (including me) - so this is not a simple process.

Thanks for posting and I hope the information will help you learn more about what we are going thru.

Somedays.

@ Somedays-

Thank you for your input, I really enjoy hearing other perspectives/stories.

I see your life a different way (granted, I don't know you)... You say you do not have a future, of course you have a future and I applaud you for trying to fix your "issues" so as to live a more productive/happy/content life.

I wonder if you have been told that you aren't these things: able to have a relationship, able to trust, feel emotion etc. Do you ever think that maybe if someone hadn't told you you weren't able to form these relationships, or feel happy that maybe you wouldn't personify those negative emotions?

I am sorry to hear of all the troubles you have had to deal with in your life and wish you the best on your journey.

CG
My first thought after reading your post was "oh boy!"

My second thought is that your message is very interesting in a number of ways. I think that many people who have discovered this forum found the opposite to what you found. They read some threads and said "Wow, I'm not the only one!" and they very much COULD relate to the experiences and feelings of others here.

I think it is great that you seem to be offering your comments as a way to help yourself understand, and that your intent is not to criticize, but to question and learn.

I hope that some of the other members can provide some insights for you.

Maybe there is a good, healthy reason that you kept reading our threads and were compelled to contribute something here. Welcome. I hope you find what you are looking for.

Quell

-------Trigger for physical abuse and CSA-----
Sorry for spelling I'm typing with fat thumbs on iPhone Tiny screen not new 'mega' screen they put out :-) also, fair warning... Auto correct might have powned me :-)

Hello:

Welcome to the board. I have been digesting this post for a bit now both as a moderator and a reader and... Iam a little bamboozled by it. Firstly, I disagree that MD means they are better able to help their patients. I see a PhD weekly and an Psychiatrist every three months for med checks. The PhD is the trauma expert, the one that listens to what I don't say, that hears what I can't say and waits for what I will say. She guides me in a variety of issues and techniques and she knows my meds better than my pdoc.

I was a little uncomfortable with your statement regarding emotional immaturity. I think perhaps one of the reasons you may be having difficulty relating to people's stories on the board as you said, is because they are two different genres? You may be in therapy to maximize or optimize your life... Many of us are trying to piece our lives together for the first time. Many of us struggle to find the strength to get out of bed in the morning and therapy is nothing like a massage... It's like a constant ripping off of scabs letting it heal, ripping off the scan again and repeating the process.

It's great that you've come through life with caring parents and from your posts you sound like you are successful, I think that's fantastic! I want you to also consider that this board is about people in therapy so likely that's what the posts will be like and it will sound like that's all they do because, by the nature of the board you are only seeing one aspect of them but stick around long enough and listen quietly enough and you will find that members of this board are parents, professionals, nurturing etc. however; most of us at one time or another have been obliterated by someone either in authority or by someone who supposedly loved us or both. So, in my case when my brother repeatedly raped me, shared me with our cousin and their other friends, when he scalded me, when he pushed me out of moving cars, tried to drown me, hit me with a baseball bat, lit my hair on fire, when he whipped me with a wire hanger and then said he loved me and then took care of me while my parents were drugged up or working... My trust was shattered. When my father told me repeatedly that I better study up because I was so ugly I'd only date a guy interested in intelligence and when my mother pulled me out of the shower or bed and beat me in front of people... My acceptance for love evaporated. When so many people had access to me at such a young age for such a long time, guess what? My sense of boundaries were never established.

So what happens when I walk into a therapists office for the first time? No, no I don't tell her how my week went and I don't look for kinks to smoothen out. I instead assess my exits for escape, I size her up, wonder if there will be a physical attack, Iam careful not to get close physically, I watch for the slightest movement, I listen for the faintest change in her voice that warns me Iam going to be hurt. The first day of therapy, yeah - doc had her hands full, I was very unwilling to trust her, I was angry, I didn't know what a boundary was or attachment or even that I was supposed to attach to her. It took nearly three years for me to make eye-contact. Not because I am emotionally immature but rather emotionally obliterated.

In therapy, many things come up especially contact out of session. My T Knows I call to hear her VM about ten times a day because it is grounding and comforting. She tells me time and time again to call anytime. She returns crisis calls the same day and appointment ones etc. next business day. Many therapist encourage contact so the person can attach, a skilled therapist knows how to wean that and when to wean it.

For many of us, our therapist has been the I my person to nuture, listen and appreciate us so when there is an instance where we perceive we were wronged you can likely see how the past suddenly jumps to the forefront and we 'flip' as you stated. These are natural responses and part of the process and are actually teachable moments for many of us. They are valuable. To hide our responses to appear respectful is to rob ourselves of an opportunity to go deeper. I would venture to say that none of us would intentionally be disrespectful to our ts. Many of us adore our Ts.

What Iam trying to say is that what you see as disrespectful or immature mentalities I see as warrior mentalities. Warriors who were beaten down over and over and over at the hands of others such that their adult lives seemed hopeless, but then they rise up again and tackle therapy and its a daily fight over and over and over again so while you may be getting massages to work out kinks we are in battlefields, battle scarred and wounded yet still daily wielding our swords of faith, determination, perseverance, grit, and ... Love.

Regarding exercise... I suppose if it were really that easy many of us wouldn't need a T since many people here tri-athletes, prior military, yoga buffs, runners, tennis players and cyclists. We all know the importance of incorporating exercise into our daily lives to aide with the depression many of us have but exercising doesn't remove the thoughts of our Ts. Imagine that you have something precious, something you have never known, experienced or knew existed, but you had it because of your hard work... You would think about it a lot and in the early stages you would probably be obsessive about it, then worry something will go wrong, it will be stolen or ruined somehow so now you fret until eventually you are comfortable with just how special an item you have. That's kind of the relationship between a good t and a client putting in the work. We think about the relationship because its so precious to us, because we are terrified we will ruin it or it will be taken from us because those have been the themes of most of our lives.


I do sincerely welcome you to the board and hope that you aren't offended by this post. I just want you to realize that while they may have been your personal opinions they were opinions of the board nonetheless and this community is not the community expressed in those opinions. This is a community of survivors that goes to war every single day and sometimes while carrying a wounds warrior along the way. Stick around, get to know them and you will see what I mean.

CTL

CTL-

Thank you for sharing your story with me-- how terribly traumatic that must have been to have your brother and other family members do such terrible things to you, I cannot even begin to imagine the pain that must have caused you.

I absolutely now see why the therapist plays such a central role in your life-- the one person that you feel that you can depend on and trust. Thank you for writing such a detailed reply to my post as I feel like I have a much greater understanding regarding the emotions and "baby steps" that you take to make yourself whole. Like I said before, I guess I had a hard time comprehending this because I cannot imagine someone like my brother or parents trying to harm me in any way-- the thought of that is just horrific.

I think it is amazing that you have the strength and resolve to face the tough issues of your past and I really respect you for doing so.

Thank you again for replying and I am sorry to hear about how you were so unfairly treated as a child.

-CG

quote:

Imagine that you have something precious, something you have never known, experienced or knew existed, but you had it because of your hard work... You would think about it a lot and in the early stages you would probably be obsessive about it, then worry something will go wrong, it will be stolen or ruined somehow so now you fret until eventually you are comfortable with just how special an item you have. That's kind of the relationship between a good t and a client putting in the work. We think about the relationship because its so precious to us, because we are terrified we will ruin it or it will be taken from us because those have been the themes of most of our lives.

CTL- I forgot to mention that this part of what you wrote really helped me understand many of the members' mindsets.

thank you again!

CG

PS. I also wanted to add, that while I like having a psychiatrist as a my talk therapist, I would put a PhD in a similar category. I should have said that I think a PhD/MD would be the most suitable for therapy as they have the most training etc. I would not feel as comfortable seeing a LCSW, or a MFT etc.

I'm just going to say one thing...

I would say that your interaction/response and relatioship with your T is very normal based on your normal upbringing. What you see as being abnormal here on the forum is in fact very normal based on our very abnormal upbringings/traumas etc.

The shoes that we walk in are very different to the ones you are used to walking in. I hold no grudge to your question because it is clear you do not understand what it is like to walk in these shoes, and for that you should be grateful.

(((Lillies))) I'm sorry you have had to share that stuff in a bid to justify both yours and our feelings. Thank you though because I think or at least I hope that it gives a clearer picture as to why we feel and react the way we do.

I don't think I want to respond in an aggressive way to this post because in truth it is a reflection on the diversity of society and our individual experiences.

's to everyone who does understand those feelings and needs though.

B2W

No problemo! :-) keep pokin around the board, members here are pretty willing to help clarify or explain stuff if you have questions etc. it's actually kinda funny now that you mention how different therapy really can be for people yet they still get what they need because when I read your analogy of it being like a massage I was like... With what? A blow torch? Lol so yeah, therapy is different or different peeps. Actually there are members here with similar CSA histories to myself and their relationship with their Ts is waaaaaaay different from me and my Ts so I guess even with similar histories it really just comes down to what fits for the client. :-)

CTL

I'm so incredibly moved by your post CTL. I'm not in a place where I feel safe
enough to share my experience of life...but I wanted to say that yes, I relate
to your therapy experience and reading your words about warrior mentality really
resonates!

I have been reading here for a long time but rarely post. In a way I feel like
I don't belong here as my early experiences were not as "bad" as others. Yet my
Struggle to live an authentic life, my repeated patterns in relationships is
unhealthy and so I find myself in therapy for the past 18 months feeling
like I am peeling my skin off and then all the layers underneath to find out
exactly who is at the core....and if I'm honest it is hard to have faith
that there is anything there. Through the unconditional, truthful, consistent
care of my therapist I feel safe enough to do this work.
I also have a deep desire to know myself better, live more optimally and
transcend the crap and kind of function at a higher level. The work I'm doing
in therapy is laying some solid foundations on which I can create and build
the future I want. I wonder if the original poster is familiar with Maslow's hierarchy of
needs? The bottom layer of the pyramid needs to be solid before the next layer
can be attended to, otherwise the pyramid collapses. Basic needs must be met
before someone can have the time or energy to live and function from a "higher"
perspective. But I will climb my mountain and I will reach back and give
others any assistance I can and that they want because I have struggled up
that mountain and know the sheer spirit and courage it takes to get up each
day and contemplate walking again. Taking a helicopter to the top is also
a way of journeying to enjoy the view. The view is the same granted but I
wonder if it is as valued by those who travel by helicopter as those who have
climbed every ridge and slipped and fallen along the way and been helped on
that journey by others who have also walked their journey?

For all who are on the journey or those enjoying the view at the top...I am
interested in your stories, I find comfort in your experiences and courage and strength in
knowing I am not alone on this journey.

Go safely and go gently!
X

I am not sure if this is appropriate or not so please forgive me if it is not.

CTL-- How could your brother have done this to you? I was thinking more about it and it seems so heinous and just utterly reprehensible that your own BROTHER could abuse you like this. Did you cut him out of your life as an adult and does he even admit to having done these horrible things to you? As for your parents, did they know he was doing these things to you and if so, did they do something to make it stop and if not, would they have????

Why did your brother abuse you the way he did, sexually and physically? I cannot even imagine living with these scars and once again really commend you for quite honestly, just living everyday as I could not even fathom how one recovers from this type of physical and sexual abuse.

Lillies, I really appreciated your post. Thank you. It helped me understand you a little better and why we are all here. You explained it well.

I think I want CG to know that she is probably reading some of the most painful and difficult therapy posts from people with really complex situations. And as I have said many times - without knowing the personal history and circumstances of the person posting - you just dont know what they have been through.

I think if anyone has been brave enough to post their issues in public and ask for support as we do here - they all deserve the utmost respect and understanding because it is incredibly difficult to reach out - even to online strangers!!!

Somedays.

Hey B2W-

I don't think this is an aggressive convo. At least i hope it isn't. You ease great points that I didn't even consider regarding what is perceived as normal and abnormal based upon upbringing. I hadn't even thought about that! :-) I think the great thing about the board is we can have these conversations honestly and try to understand one another.

CG... Have you researched the licensing of therapists/counselors and such? It's actually very interesting what you might find. However; I must confess when I sought out a T I looked for a Ph.D that was a trauma expert lol

Sorry guys I cross posted lol

Iam glad SOMEONE understands me more cause I sure don't lol. Searching- lived the mountain.... That's exactly what it's about.

CG: Ask anyone on the board, Iam usually an open book but have had a bit of a breech in my privacy as of late so Iam a little raw and honestly on guard about whom I share things with... I actually typically don't post anymore but wanted you to understand where we were coming from. If you don't mind, I'd like to hold off on answering those questions regarding my history until I know you more? I hope you can understand that boundary? It's absolutely nothing personal just getting over some stuff, hope you understand as I may be selective.

CTL

CTL, that was well written and took great courage to write.

Searching: I don't think that one can say that taking the helicopter to the top is any less of a journey than hiking up a mountain and falling. I feel very fortunate to have had a very happy and healthy childhood, and realize my path has been much easier than most/many, but I don't think it takes away ones' ability to empathize with someone who maybe had a harder time.

CTL: I absolutely respect that and apologize for being intrusive and appreciate all that you have shared.

-CG

CtL Firstly can I just applaud your courage for posting on this thread.

to you for that.

Sorry I'm a bit late with this thread, but just want to say thank you to Couturegirl for having the courage to start such a healthy topic for discussion. It serves as a very timely reminder just how different each and every one of us is, and how different our life paths have been and how we view our therapy and T's and that of others.

CG; certainly I can relate to a number of the points you raised in so far as I treat my T with the same sort of respect as any other person in my life; her time, her private life etc.

quote:

seeing? When we start out sessions, I generally bring up how my week has been or anything we didn't finish discussing the previous week and than the doctor brings up things he wants to talk about/explore/address-- to me, this seems how therapy should work, a mutual exchange of information.

That's pretty much exactly how my sessions tend to go too, and I see my therapy as a mix of psychoanalysis and also life coaching skills; or as my T puts it "providing me with buffers against life"!!

There have been times when I've almost felt like a 'fraud' for being on here when I have read of the depth of peoples pain and what they are trying to work through in therapy, and that's why I tend not to post too often on some of the more 'in depth' topics. For example, when my T asked me to describe my childhood, I relied "well, normal I suppose"; although I realise now that emotional abuse is far from normal, it pales into insignificance somewhat.Like you; my intial reaction to some of things I've read here has been, "what??!!" especially as a new member; but I had to remind myself that we are all very very different and that EVERYBODIES thoughts and feelings are important and valid.

As CtL said; by sticking around here, reading and listening quietly, I've come to appreciate just how diverse this community is in every aspect, and how caring,compassionate and understanding everyone is.

I hope you find the same here.

Hey, CG.

Well, I first want to apologize for my post that I deleted. It was just one word, but I regret saying anything. I probably shouldn't be posting anything at all right now because I'm extra sensitive at the moment. I wish I had the capacity right now to explain more of my reactions in a respectful manner, just because your opinion is just as important as mine, and it can sometimes be an eye-opening experience looking at other views. But I am just not in a place to do that at the moment.

Hugs, CG, and everyone else, too.

((CG)))

I'm just wondering how old you are and what your profession and gender is?

quote:

As I read, I wonder if a lot of you place far too much on your therapists, they are as some of you put it, supposed to replace your parents, siblings, etc etc. When in fact, they are just human and as compassionate and as caring as they may be, it is still their job.

I don't know how much you know about the different types of therapies out there but there are therapies that involve reparenting. It's all very interesting and if you are interested in learning more about it, there is a ton of information about it.

quote:

I don't want to come across as sounding insensitive at all, but I feel like some of you give your emotions too much power.

Emotions involve chemical and electrical impulses in the brain. It is very complicated and I don't understand it at all but I do believe that when certain emotions are experienced, we actually do lose power. It's not as simple as saying, I'm giving this too much power and I'm going to change the way I think.

Think of someone having a panic attack and the effects of all the adrenaline that is released. There is a biochemical response in the body. For people who have experienced trauma, the intensity of emotion is heightened.

It's all very interesting and there is a ton of information out there should you desire to learn more.

HIC, SD, Quell, CTL, B2W, Searching, scars, avoidant, kashley, Liese

I just want to say I am really impressed with your ability to respond to the opinions of CG with such maturity and forethought! Even for those of you who used restraint in your responses showed evidence of it. CTL, you took a huge risk to help CG understand the impact of trauma in a persons brain and on his life. Thank you for saying what some of us would not be able to say. Kuddos!

CG, I am glad you have a good working relationship with your T. It sounds like you have no holes in your emotional life and for that I am happy for you(and a little jealous). It has been a delight to watch you grow in understanding and compassion for those whose lives are full of holes. Welcome to the board.

deeplyrooted

I am elated to see the compassion shown by everyone who responded to the original post. I,like you Quell, thought . . .oh boy! All of you responded with great maturity,and an openess to share your struggles and pain. I am so impressed.(for lack of a better word)And also to witness the openess of the original writer. (sorry this tablet is not working as it should,so I cannot see names.)
Some,perhaps may remember me, but I rarely post now,as my sweet T and I have parted ways. (I MISS HIM,and I know I always will.There is NO relationship like that) I wont go into my story . . .Some may know parts,but I have a similar trauma history
.
This is not about me though. It is about your courage, strength,and grace,and yes . . Love that you show to one another.you show a respectfor each other that is beyond the maturity I have witnessed in this world,quite often. I also know that sharing through writing is easier, and my T would not continue with that. The face to face therapy for me. . . with him just became too much. I am on my own, but he is there if I need him.(for a really bad PTSD episode)
GREAT WORK . . .YOU GUYS!

I CG, welcome!

When I read your posts it made me think how much many of the members of this board would give to be able to see and do things the way you do. They would love to just show up at therapy and talk about their week, be able to regulate their emotions just by exercising, or simply view their T as someone they have a professional relationship with. For people with certain kinds of histories, it isn't possible, at least not until they have already done years and years of work in therapy to get there.

Here's a blog post from an experienced trauma therapist, where she explains the difference between different types of clients. Maybe it could help you understand where people on this board are coming from : http://traumatherapy.typepad.c...long-term-clien.html


Here's a quote that describes many of the members here:

quote:

Severe dissociation with awful attachment and horrible trauma: Settle in for the long haul. You and the therapy are both penicillin and insulin. It may take months or years to make a good, trusted attachment relationship. It may take just about the same years to stabilize your client. Then you can tackle the trauma with some good penicillin (EMDR, Life Span Integration, Brainspotting, etc.) And tackle more trauma, and more trauma, and more. Then you can help her integrate all the changes. It's 10 years later. She's in a good relationship; has a better job; can have sex; and finally can say, "How do I know if I'm done?" She's making her own insulin. She may come back for another dose of penicillin. Maybe more than once. But you did your job.

CG . . .
Welcome, and a word of caution.
Dont judge.
Most of us are different from you. Be careful not to offend. Many of us are hardened,yet very sensitive creatures.
Kashley,our posts are so similar and posted at the same time.
I pray,a safe and wisdom filled journey - to all.

Yep BLT Your quote describes me. By the grace of God and a sweet compassionate T

CTL,

Thank you for your response. Thank you very much.

Quell

@avoidant- thank you for your reply!

@Kashley- apologies if I offended you in any way as that was not my intention.

@Liese - I am a female, married, mid twenties and work in finance.

I have done a lot of research as far as different types of analytic theory etc., but now am enjoying reading about different types of therapy as well as things related to trauma/ptsd etc. as I have been considering going back to school to get a masters/PsyD in counseling. I did read up on the reparenting therapeutic approach and would love to discuss that with you at some point.

@deeplyrooted- thank you for your reply and I look forward to getting to "know" you.

@BLT- Thank you for posting that think, it was very informative and I am looking forward to doing further research!

@Mayo: I apologize if you were offended by what I said.

CTL, Somedays -

I just want to say that I give you both (and everyone else who replied so calmly and with maturity) huge kudos. To be honest, when I first read CG's post, my initial instinct was...well I won't say what I wanted to post.
What I do want to say is Thank You to CTL for sharing such a vulnerable, raw, painful part of you. You are very brave. And you are an inspiration to me to have survived that and be where you are today (even if you don't feel like where you are is a good place...of course we all get that). Your reply is what made me realize that I should not reply with what I wanted to reply with. I could not have posted the most painful parts of me like that. You are truly amazing. And thank you for reminding me exactly why I chose this forum as my center of support after I broke up with T. It's people like you (all of you) that remind me that I am not alone and that give me strength.

CG - I think your responses to the replies on this thread have been very gracious and I am pleased that you have started to read into some of the suggested information. I am happy for you (and of course jealous) that you have had the upbringing that you have. Welcome to the Board - I see you posted that you are thinking of studying towards a Phd License. Being that your personal experience may not give you the benefit of understanding alot of what most members here struggle with, you can probably learn a lot here by being open-minded, listening, and building relationships .

Well Couturegirl, you have lucked out by becoming part of this amazing forum family!

I hope you can see better now that our hearts and souls are very invested in our therapy, making it a very emotional journey - not an intellectual experience.

To those of you who have shared so deeply, thank you, and for responding so well to CG - I can't say I know many of you but it's an honour to have you here!

Be gentle with yourselves.

@Kmay- thank you for your kind words and I look forward to getting to know you better.

@Morgs-I didn't think about it before, but you're right, I look at therapy more as an intellectual experience (optimization if you will) as opposed to a "life line" or overly emotional experience. Thank you for that insight!

-CG

Hey again CG,



I've heard from many people that all therapists, social workers, nurses, etc. basically anyone who goes into a helping profession does so for a reason but the psychiatrists are the craziest of them all - so be careful.

The Ph.D.s are just as educated as the M.D.'s - maybe with the exception of the rotations that M.D.'s do. But the M.D.'s might be quicker to rely on and prescribe meds and view the client through the medical model lens.

So be careful and don't just assume you are getting higher quality care because he's an M.D.

Liese-

Thanks for your opinion, I will definitely take it under advisement .

-CG

Liese makes an excellent point :-). I saw an MD in the beginning cause the Phd felt meds would help... The first psychiatrist almost shattered what little hope I had in therapy in the first and only session with her. Phd carefuly helped me come back to hope and sometime later she found me a very nice pdoc... Even wears high waters. :-)

I guess it depends on what the psychiatrist focuses on. In my case, mine does do medication for some people and therapy for a lot of clients.

In the past I saw a PhD that I felt was equally as qualified and outstanding, however, I think it more goes along the lines of a good fit whether it be a Phd or a MD. I should have clarified better and said that I think it is important to me to see someone who has at least a PhD or an MD as opposed to a MS in counseling/marriage and family etc etc.

My therapist only has her masters. She is an LPC/LMFT. I have to say, the thought has NEVER entered my mind "oh, if only she had more education she would be able to help me better." She has 25 years of experience doing therapy, and just as importantly she has done her own work on herself. I couldn't say enough positive things about her.

I would always suggest to people that they find a qualified T as well as one who has a good fit with them personally. But the level of formal education doesn't necessarily indicate that. What you need to get a Ph.D. or MD (academic skills) doesn't necessarily correlate with the same skills you need to actually work with people on a day to day basis.

Just food for thought.

Just a side note:

I am so impressed with this conversation and how we have all endeavored to understand one another. We should never be afraid of anothers' experience-even if it is different from ours

I was trying to think of what it would be like to have two parents as CG did...I often try to imagine that and it's as if I am trying to translate a foreign language I don't even know. I am so glad there are those who do have positive experiences growing up.

.

TAS: I am sorry to hear that you suffered such abuse as a child and cannot imagine your struggle in opening up to people, I really commend you for working at it and look forward to hearing more about your story.

The more I read of these horrible stories, the more I feel blessed to have come from a loving, unbroken home. I cannot imagine how it must feel to have fear of being sexually or emotionally abused. It is unconscionable to me how some of you were treated by people who were or acted as parents or guardians. I really hope you realize that it is incredible that you have the strength and resolve to "fix" yourselves.

-CG

Thank you for your reply CG! If you want to read more of my story you can find it on 'Questions about content on MyShrink and/or being in Therapy.' It is entitled, "Running a Con on Us" and the last post on it was dated November 17 2012. (maybe that will help you in finding it)

T.

BLT<

quote:

My therapist only has her masters. She is an LPC/LMFT. I have to say, the thought has NEVER entered my mind "oh, if only she had more education she would be able to help me better." She has 25 years of experience doing therapy, and just as importantly she has done her own work on herself. I couldn't say enough positive things about her.

I couldn't agree with you more.

CG

quote:

I did read up on the reparenting therapeutic approach and would love to discuss that with you at some point.

I really don't know that much about it. I just knew it existed. You probably know more about it than I do at this point. Sorry I can't be more helpful.