Haha, wow, that kind of thought process is all too familiar to me. It's amazing how good we can be at inventing negative interpretations for everything! If only we could channel that brainpower in a productive direction, we'd probably have numerous patents already!

I did have a couple of ideas while reading this. I thought maybe if it's not too tender of an issue, you could try turning it into a game with your T during session? One way would be to challenge her to say as many positive or neutral things as she can think of, and see if you can come up with a negative interpretation for each one! Doing it on purpose like that and sharing your negative interpretations with her (allowing yourself to be over the top with them, too!) might give you a little perspective on the whole thing.

Another way you could try is to reverse roles and pretend to be her T, and say to her all the tings you're afraid she is really thinking about you.

Just a couple of ideas I had. Sorry it's so rough right now

Kmay, it sounds like we have a similar thought process . . . and a similar T .

With the statement to read over the text, as an external observer, it seems she just wants you to see that you have the tools to deal with a small challenge. But, if you struggle, she is still there for you.

With the scheduling, at least she is organized! Mine forgets appts all the time because she is so hectic and scattered.

For not responding to a text, it is kind of her to have noticed. Again, most wouldn't if they didn't at first. I think she is truly sorry, and I think you are also correct that she has other things in her life to deal with. We all do, unfortunately. Though, I wish my T were always available for me when I want to talk!

My T actually did ask what she could do to make me trust her, and I had the same reaction. I decided to ask her all of the lingering questions - are you judging me, will you tell me if I am annoying you, . . . and I decided to just say whatever I wanted because the repercussions can't be too bad. She's the only one who will ever hear my words,so it's the safest I'll ever be. Really, I just had to push myself into the point of taking a risk, listening to my inner thoughts, and saying to myself that I would express whatever came to mind no matter what. And, it was uncomfortable at first, but it worked! Of course, I eased into it by writing e-mails with my thoughts first!

I hope you can give yourself some compassion. Your critical thoughts are actually quite normal. The trick is deciding that they don't help and therefore deciding to not listen to them anymore. It takes time, but it is the only magic wand I have found.

Sending you big hugs

KMAY:

Have you been living in my head! OMG! This is EXACTLY what happens to me!

TAS

I'm with you too. I could have had that same dialog and responses.

((Kmay) I'm on that list with you as well. One of the reasons I see my T is because I don't trust because of childhood problems. The statements you've made sound just like I think, and than I get angry at my T. It is a pretty destructive cycle when we interpret incorrectly what our T's are saying, and we aren't always accurate, but sometimes we are correct. I would love to see my T's face, if he asked me what it would take to trust him, and I said that I would trust him more if he did my sessions for free, and I could send each sessions cost to a charity of his choice. I'm kidding of course! But I would love to say that to him just to see the look on his face. Trusting is a tough thing Kmay, and I agree that BLT has a good suggestion. Hang in there, it takes time to heal.

I am not alone! Lol...thank you friends for your responses. Although I am sorry that so many of us get stuck in this thinking/interpreting pattern.

I really like BLT's idea and Draggers too Now if I only can get the courage to do it! Thank you both and right back to you.

finding_my_way - you are very brave! I so wanted to tell her everything on my mind when she asked me that question...but yeah. I didn't. I just sat there head down. My T says exactly what you said "Don't listen to the lies anymore"

(((TAS)))

Chezza - that made me laugh! B/c I can totally relate. Boo!

(((Draggers))) - I really like that idea of her writing them down. Boy that would help me alot. If only I could ask her to do that. I actually ran into a huge brick wall with her yesterday. Well more of a rupture, I guess. I might post about it, but right now, I don't think I will be asking anything of her anytime soon Thank you for your response my friend.

Rebuilding Me

Eme -

quote:

I would love to see my T's face, if he asked me what it would take to trust him, and I said that I would trust him more if he did my sessions for free, and I could send each sessions cost to a charity of his choice. I'm kidding of course! But I would love to say that to him just to see the look on his face. Laugh

- Omg...that is hilarious Thank you for that laugh. And hugs to you. I'm in the same boat with trust and my childhood problems.

I actually saw a T once where he would take on one charity client at a time. I was charged the usual rate but the whole fee went to the charity of my choice, not his. He had some charities he supported and said I could either choose those or my own.

Oh, and I have totally been there with the creative ways my brain re-interprets completely innocuous statements; not just from Ts but from partners and family members too.