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A little background information is needed here before I go into the mystery. Some of you might remember that my sister is living in my basement.

Okay, that was it for the background information. Smiler On Tuesday of this week, I woke up as usual and made a cup of tea with milk. It tasted weird and I just thought maybe my tastes were changing and I wasn't enjoying my tea as much as I used to. So I dumped the cup.

Then my 5 year old poured herself a bowl of cereal with milk, started to eat and immediately started to gag. She ran over to the garbage pail and spit out the cereal with the milk. She said, Mommy, Mommy, the milk tastes awful.

I took the container out of the fridge and noticed that the expiration date was August 18th. Should have been okay there. But then I looked at the milk and it was really white, creamy white, more like whole milk and I buy skim milk.

My 13 year old walked into the kitchen. I asked her to smell it and she told me it was paint. My H has been painting our fence white and so we decided that he must have put some leftover paint in a milk jug and someone accidentally put it in the fridge, thinking it was milk.

I called H but he said he didn't do that and he told me that the milk must have curdled.

My neighbor came over and he examined the milk and he too thought it was paint. I brought it over to my mother and brother and they thought it was paint. Then my H came home from work and he said it was definitely paint but he also thought it had paint thinner in it.

The gallon jug at that point was almost empty and so we could think of only 2 possibilities. That it came from the supermarket like that and we just didn't notice it until we got to the bottom of the jug or someone put a jug of paint/paint thinner in my fridge, either accidentally or intentionally.

I asked my sister about it when she got home Tuesday night and she said it probably fermented.

This morning when I got up, the jug with the paint in it (we left it on the counter, not really sure what to do about it or who to call about it) was gone and there was a new gallon of milk in the fridge. I called my H at work and asked about the paint jug and the new gallon and he knew nothing about either and was very upset that the paint jug would go missing like that.

I called my sister at work and she said that my H was so upset about it all last night that she took the paint jug back to the supermarket, told them something was wrong with it and they gave her a new gallon of milk. My sister told me that I shouldn't buy my milk there and I should buy it somewhere else. I asked her why and she said that she used to work there and it is a dirty store. (I knew my sister had a job either there or in the store next to it for a short period of time because I had seen her car but she never mentioned it to me.)

I decided to go to the supermarket to talk to them and also ask for the paint jug back (evidence). I spoke to the woman my sister spoke to and this was the story she told: My sister went in with the gallon jug but it was empty when she brought it in. She thought it was odd that someone would bring in an empty milk container and complain that there was something wrong with the milk but their policy is not to argue with the customers so she told my sister to get a new jug of milk.

The woman also told me that my sister used to work there but didn't make it past the 30 day probationary period, that she was let go. She also told me that this morning, my sister asked her how her mother was. I asked the woman, "does she know your mother?" And the woman said no.

I asked for the paint jug back but it was gone by this point.

My T thinks my sister put the paint jug in the fridge but what would be her motive? Is she mad at me about something? Or is she mad that I shop there and was trying to muddy their reputation?

I'm so confused and my head is spinning. If you knew my sister, you would know that within the last year she has done some really whacky things, including dumping her husbands two dogs on the freeway in another city.

I got the sense that my T thinks she might be dangerous and I should ask her to move out. I told him that I'd have to think about that. I would do it if I knew 100% that she was behind this. But what if she wasn't?

Any thoughts?

And if you stayed with the story this long, thank you! I know it was long.
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Hi Liese,
I agree with your T. I had a family member staying for some time and nothing like your situation but I didn't want to be blamed for pushing them out...your situation sounds pretty scary and potentially dangerous to you/your family. In my case the person self-sabotaged...mental illness with no help among other issues. I would say don't worry about being the bad guy of having her move out. The only other possible explanation would be one of your other family members but with even dropping off dogs on a freeway and other things she seems like the logical one. Please let us know...we are concerned.

's
Hopeful
Quite a quandary Liese... I'd be befuddled too. I mean, on the one hand, if it was deliberate, it could have severely hurt you, H, or your children. If it was unintentional, it doesn't change the fact that someone could have gotten hurt, but it doesn't take away the fact that it happened.

It seems like such an extreme thing for someone to do intentionally, though, and if it was intentional, it might be a major cry for help?

I'm sorry I have nothing to offer in a way to remedy the situation, but I am hopeful an answer is uncovered eventually... kinda like a real life game of Clue!
Hi Liese,

It sounds scary to me, especially with children involved. If your husband did actually put paint in a milk jug, then it's possible someone could have picked it up by mistake and put it in the fridge. But he said that he didn't put the paint in the jug?

If he didn't, was there anyone else who would have been using the paint? It just seems unlikely to me that paint would unintentionally end up in a milk jug in the refrigerator, because that would have involved several steps and then she offered different explanations for what happened. I don't want to say she's out to hurt you but if she's capable of making such errors in judgment then I think I would try to find a way to suggest that she move, maybe for other reasons?

If she did it intentionally, would she have a reason to make it seem like your husband made that mistake, since he was the one painting?

I hope you get to the bottom of this.

Summer
Hey Liese,

SOUNDS LIKE A MOVIE!

Have to say my thoughts are in line with your T's. It is highly unlikely that paint (white at that) would get into a milk container.....and just YOUR milk container. Nobody else has made mention in your town/city of paint in their milk container and the suppliers of the milk have not recalled any milk or put out a notice. Rather suspicious. Even in terms of milk, people do not normally decant milk from one container into another. So if one container had paint (also unlikely given the expiry date on the bottle and the consistency and flow of paint in relation to milk)you wouldn't normally pour one bottle of "milk" into another. If there were young children living there I would say maybe because kids do get up to all sorts of things in their little experiments, but it doesnt seem like that is the case.

Even more suspicious is that your sister felt the need to take the milk container back, and yes one normally presents the retailer with the problem when one returns the goods, but in her case she chose to empty the container.....I'd be looking for answers.

B2W
((HOPEFUL)))(((R2G))(((SUMMER)))(((BG)))(((B2W)))

quote:
If your husband did actually put paint in a milk jug, then it's possible someone could have picked it up by mistake and put it in the fridge.


That was my first thought. But my husband said he didn't put the paint in a gallon jug. He's in the process of painting our picket fence and he's working out of a 5 gallon bucket of paint. He's already gone through one bucket. But it's so big that he leaves it outside in the yard.

quote:
It seems like such an extreme thing for someone to do intentionally, though, and if it was intentional, it might be a major cry for help?


That's a really interesting thought. She has been under constant stress for over 4 years and it just doesn't seem to let up. The reason she is with me is because she bought a house a 12 hour drive from here but can't find a job there. She has a job here. She keeps trying to get a job down there but nothing yet.

It really is very mysterious and I'm not ready to make an outright accusation at this point. I just feel sick thinking about it and not having the answers.

quote:
It could be your husband had the paint on the counter and your sister put it in the fridge by mistake. I like to think this is what happened.


I know. I like to think that this is what happened too and was my first thought. The huge bucket of paint is outside and it had rained the night before. The top of the paint bucket was still filled with water that morning. And we checked all our paint cans in the basement and none of them have been opened recently. Trust me, I would prefer an innocent explanation.

The question I keep asking, though, is if it was an innocent mistake, why not fess up and just apologize? But to hide it, if she is hiding it?

quote:
SOUNDS LIKE A MOVIE!


Yes it does. My siblings provide me with a lot of fodder.

Ugggghhhhh. I think I'm just going to have to let it go and chalk it up to just one of those things.

Thank you all for not thinking I made this up. I know it sounds pretty off the wall. I still can't quite wrap my brain around it myself. If my husband, my neighbor and my brother hadn't confirmed there was paint in there, I would convince myself I made everything up. If I told you everything that has happened with my brother and sister in the past 5 years, you would shake your head in disbelief. And I'm the one in therapy. Eeker And loving every minute of it! LOL!
(((SOMEDAYS)))

It IS weird, isn't it?

When my sister came home from work last night, H told her about the jug. She insisted the milk had just fermented. H told her to smell it and touch it but she wouldn't. She just kept insisting it must have gone bad.

When I called my H this morning to see if he knew where the paint gallon had gone to and where the new milk had come from, he started to think about when he was doing the dishes last night.

We have a brown, somewhat porous sink. H recalled that when he was doing the dishes, he noticed white paint had been discarded in the sink but he didn't think anything of it because well, that's just the way he is, a little absent minded and hyper focused. As he thought about it more today, though, he realized that the countertop was clean. There was nothing on it. He thinks the jug was gone.

So, she must have already dumped the paint into the sink and taken the jug with her to bed by the time he did the dishes. Well, we know she dumped the paint and took the jug. It's just how it got into my fridge that we don't know.

She has never admitted to dumping the dogs so she's certainly not going to admit to putting a paint jug in my fridge. My BIL was going away for two weeks to train for a new job last year and he insisted that she take 2 weeks off from work (at that point, she was the sole breadwinner) to go down to N.C. to take care of the dogs. She was only gone for 3 days when suddenly she was back in town. One of the dogs was found hit by a car on the side of the highway in Washington D.C. He had a microchip in him and so they were able to track down my BIL.

When I asked her what happened to the dogs, she just closed her eyes and came up with a story about how they must have been stolen. Her intentions were good because my BIL wouldn't get a job because he always had to stay home and take care of the dogs. I can see her logic, even if it was warped. But to just dump the dogs like that. The other one was never found. Frowner
Liese... I don't want to alarm you but I think your sister sounds scary. I do not think she had good intentions with regard to the dogs, whether or not they were the excuse for your BIL not to get a job. She could have done something humane with them instead of abandoning them on a highway. I do hope the other dog found a good home. She could have just brought them to a shelter instead.

As for the paint in the milk jug... if she had nothing to do with this then why was she so invested in bringing the jug back to the store. And even IF she wanted to ruin the store's reputation... she put your children's and your life on the line in order to do that. She sounds dangerous and not in her right mind. I would ask her to leave and I would be VERY careful of what she is doing all day (especially around the children) until she moves out.

If you and your dh did not put the paint in the jug then who does that leave? and why? I highly doubt it was the store or the milk company.

Please be vigilant.

Hugs
TN
(((Liese)))
This sounds like an awful situation to find yourself in.

Firstly; I would think it virtually impossible for paint to have been put into milk containers by accident at the dairy, or by the store selling the milk. Even if this had been done deliberately by some disgruntled employee of either business, there would surely have been at least a local news item to not use the product and to return it to the store; which doesn’t seem to have happened, so i think you can discount that theory.

Paint has a very much thicker consistency than milk, and the only way it could ever be mistaken for milk would be to add thinners to it. Does your H thin the paint before he uses it to paint the fence?, and why would he leave it on the kitchen counter if he is painting the outside fence and stores the paint in the yard? Normally I would use paint ‘as is’ straight from the container, but I know that it is best to thin it first when putting the first coat onto a wooden fence as it soaks into the wood, and then use a normal unthinned second coat. It might be best to check with your H that he hadn’t thinned some of it for use and had some left over.

Sorry for my ignorance here, but my knowledge of US milk containers is limited!! In the UK even the largest milk containers have very small tops and putting paint in them would be difficult and messy, and no use at all for getting a brush into.

It does sound to me that this was a deliberate attempt to deceive you into thinking it was milk. The reason your sister gave you for returning the container to the store and have it replaced sounds rather hollow to me. With the evidence on the sink that the remainder of it had been emptied , and probably washed out, before returning it tells me that your sister knew the store would have known instantly what it was had there been any trace or smell of paint or thinners as milk that has gone off smells totally different to paint!! And why did she take it upon herself to get it replaced, especially from the very store she calls dirty and tells you not to buy your milk from?? Sounds crazy to me.

I’m inclined to think your T is right, that your sister did deliberately put thinned paint into the milk container and put it in the fridge. Your H stores the paint and thinners in the basement?, where your sister lives? Hmmm.

I sincerely hope it wasn’t done because she is mad with you about something, but certainly it may be something to do with fact that she wanted retribution for being fired from the store in some way, but if she now has a job, why is she acting this way? That she may be capable of such irrational and dangerous acts, with no thought to the consequences to the safety of your children or yourselves must be a real concern. She seems to have shown that trait before with your BIL’s dogs.

I know she is family, but ideally if it were me, I would ask her to leave for the safety of your kids and yourselves; but if she has to live with you I would set some very strict ground rules. After all, it is YOUR house, and she is a guest there. Is it possible to ask her to stay out of your kitchen unless you or your H, or one of your older children are present with her?, and if she doesn’t, tell her she will be asked to leave immediately; it’s not like she doesn’t have anywhere to go.

Please be careful Liese, for all your sakes. It sounds like your sister is a bit of a loose cannon and really could use some help.
((((COGS)))(((TN)))(((AV)))((((BG))))

quote:
Truth is so much stranger than fiction. In learning fiction writing, I've learned that sometimes I can't use "real" stories, ironically, because nobody would believe them!


This is so true!

Thank you all for all the support and advice. I WAS wondering why someone would put paint thinner in other than to make it more toxic but that makes so much sense, that it's the only way to make it look like milk. It actually makes it all the more frightening to me because that really means that whoever did it, knew what they were doing. (H has not been adding thinner to the paint before he painted the fence. AV, we should have consulted with you before we started! Who knew you had so much knowledge about paint, thinner and picket fences! Incidentally, do you happen to live close to me and where were you on Tuesday morning between 6 and 8 a.m.? LOL)

My sister is adopted and we have never been close so it's not so much that I have this incredible bond with her. It's more that her H basically abandoned her financially and emotionally. He has a drug problem and actually went through all their savings. My mother and brother wouldn't take her in because my brother doesn't like her. My mother is choosing to house my brother right now and, IMO, he has done many more "bad" things than my sister has. (Although I suppose attempted murder has to be right up there.)

I just felt so bad for her. She was sleeping in her car before I took her in.

My sister isn't that bright but science was her strongest subject and she does work in a chemistry lab right now. So, I suppose it's possible that she could have the knowledge needed to put this all together.

We have been giving her free housing for 9 months now so it's hard to understand what her motive might be. But she could be resentful of things that don't actually make sense to us, I guess. She went down to NC about a month ago for 3 weeks to look intensively for a job but wasn't successful in finding one. She called me several days before she had to return to work and told me that she was going to look for an apartment. I just replied, okay, and didn't offer to have her back here at my home. When she got back, she called and asked if it was okay if she had to stay at my house now and again and I replied, of course.
And then she showed up on my doorstep, mentioned that rents were too high, she hasn't left and it's been two weeks now. My H and I both agree she seems more removed and distant than she did before she went away.

My T thinks she did it because she's resentful that I didn't offer to have her stay her and "made" her ask. I just don't know.

I am really going to have to think hard about what to do. It would be hard for me to ask her to leave without knowing 100% that she is the one responsible for it.

Confused

to all!
Liese... perhaps your sister needs to have a mental evaluation by a P. If she is gainfully employed, then she can find her own apartment or furnished room to live in. I would be afraid this has nothing to do with any reality (like a real reason why she could be angry with you) and more to do with her being mentally disturbed and unbalanced.

I know you feel sorry for her but your first loyalty is to your children and then you and your dh. And if no one else in your house did this... then it's a pretty sure bet that it was her.

Please be careful.

TN
Liese,

I agree with the others here. I'm assuming you would have noticed if the milk's tamperproof lid was missing (i.e. a store employee did it on purpose) before you bought it. The fact that there was thinner in it means it wouldn't have happened on accident. It was supposed to look like milk. Doubtful that some rogue dairy employee would do that to just one container, and to what end? You would have heard of other cases by now, most likely. Maybe someone could try to do something like that to sue a store/producer, but then they wouldn't toss the evidence. That is the biggest issue, the lengths that were gone to to dispose of it, to insist on another story, and the immediacy of it. Pair that with a history of disregard for the life/safety of others (I consider animals to be others in this case) and ability to lie and/or justify it, it does not fill me with warm, safe feelings, especially as a mother. I have struggled with what to do when family has done things which MIGHT expose my daughter to (emotional) safety-threatening scenarios, so I can kind of understand the dilemma you're in. I think she needs to go, if you're looking for opinions, but if this IS retribution for simply not inviting her, what happens if you ask her to leave or otherwise forcibly relocate her?

Also, did you ever follow up on the tea? If you don't decide to test it in some way, at least please don't drink it anymore to be safe!

I'm sorry you are in such an awful situation right now as the result of attempting to do something kind, despite whether or not you feel close to your sister. I would never disbelieve you...I've had too many bizarre family dramas of my own to ever do that.

-Non
Wow, that is really bizarre.

I'm tempted to say I don't think it's possible for there to be an innocent explanation for a paint/paint thinner mixture mysteriously appearing in a milk jug in the refridgerator. At any rate, it sounds like you've investigated enough to rule out explanations like that.

I kind of agree with TN that this seems scary and dangerous. Eeker

Take care and keep us posted!
Hey Liese,

Just had a conversation with my H about this that I wanted to share with you. I had been mulling over your post a bit and was curious as to what he would say, so I just asked him about it on his way out when he was home for lunch.

Me: So this girl on my forum went to get some milk out of her fridge,
H: Uh-huh
Me: And she and her daughter both thought the milk really smelled like paint, and I guess tasted like paint. Her husband says he didn't do it, I mean put paint in the fridge, and then her sister went and got rid of it.
H: Hmm.
Me: Yeah.
H: You know, one time at college we had a bottle of milk go bad and it smelled like paint.
Me: Really?
H: Yeah, it really smelled like paint. But anyway. I have to get back to work now. Hope there isn't a lunatic at large.

Roll Eyes Anyway, I still think what you are describing here sounds pretty suspicious, but H's little anecdote gave me pause. I didn't know milk even *could* smell like paint. But if that could possibly be the case. . . maybe your sister took it on herself to dump it and bring it back to the store out of frustration at having been fired from there? Like maybe she saw the spoiled milk as just another bad experience with the store and it made her react?

Is this a possible scenario? What do you think?
Hey you,

Thanks for thinking of me and asking your H. I want nothing more than for it to be an accident and/or for us to be wrong about the milk. After I got your PM, I googled can milk smell like paint and what came up was that bad paint can smell like sour milk. Isn't that funny?

Anyway, we left the carton of "milk" out of the fridge from Tuesday afternoon until it disappeared Wednesday evening and it never curdled. It just looked like milk, or thinned paint. LOL!! It was VERY white. You have to remember that I buy skim milk and you know how transparent skim milk is. This substance was very white and not transparent at all.

I told the story to one of my closest friends who told her sister, a doctor. They just called me and told me that I need to get her out of the house immediately for the sake of the children. Both my friend and her sister know my sister. My friend's sister (the doctor) was, in fact, good friends with my sister growing up. Uggggghhhhhh. It gets more and more complicated and all I want to do is forget it ever happened and not deal with it at all.

Thanks again. If you or your H has any other thoughts, please let me know.
Hi Lily,

That was a really interesting thread. I wonder if anyone would answer me if I posted. I noticed it was 5 years old.

The reasons why I would argue that it was paint and paint thinner are as follows:

I bought skim milk.

1. The "milk" was very white.

2. The "milk" was not transparent.

3. We left it out from Tuesday afternoon until it disappeared Wednesday night and it maintained the same consistency. It never curdled.

I would love to talk to a dairy farmer, wouldnt you?

All of the above, Liese. It sounds like you know in your heart what happened, and what needs to happen next. So sorry - I know it isn't easy living with someone you care about but can't trust.
I let a dear friend - someone I thought I knew well - come live in our basement about 8 years ago, when my kids ranged from 4 to 13. She did some bizarre things, but one thing in particular when she took my 13 yod for a walk... Between that and the rising tension in our home, I finally asked her to leave "as soon as possible." It was SO hard to say that to her, but I had to, for my family's safety and peace.

I know your sister's situation is unfortunate with the house, H, and job complications, but Liese, none of that overrides the safety of your precious family.

Please be extra vigilant in the meantime, and follow your gut feelings every moment.

Also - and this just me, but I would be careful not to tip my hand, so to speak.

Hugs to you,
Starry
(((CAT)))(((LILY)))(((STARRY))))

Thank goodness my little one spit it out right away and didn't swallow anything. She was fine. My son, who had cereal at 6 a.m. and insisted it was milk, slept all day - unusual for him. He told me that he was tired from camp. He's fine now though.

I honestly don't know what to do or think. My H, who used to paint for a living, is 100% certain it was paint. As for me, I am an expert at blurring my reality and could easily convince myself I made it up or was mistaken.

Thanks for your concern.

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