If i describe this, can you tell me what the name for it is and do you have any advice on how I address it?

I have always had difficult with this, I remember struggling with it 15 yrs ago when in therapy.

Ok, so we are in the stabilising, emotional regulation phase. Attempting mindfulness and centering - starting to work out ways to bring me back when I fade/dissociate.

So T tells me to conjure up an image of a place that is special to me and to hold it in my mind to focus on it to bring me back / or to relax / or whatever the task is.

My problem is that a) when I am physically at that place, I can be sitting there looking at my peaceful and special view - say of a garden with beautiful flowers. I can sit there and smell, look, feel etc and think 'yes this is beautiful' but how do I get that Image and Feeling inside my heart/head to take a snapshot of it and keep it for later

b) When I am in that place I am having trouble actually feeling the good feelings about it. I can think it is beautiful but I don't feel it.

c) when i am with T or needing to dig up this image - she say 'get the picture of your place in your mind'. I try and try - but the picture never comes in - never comes in so I never know what to focus on so I tend to look at a wall. Staring at a wall puts me in a trance / fog - and I feel nothing. When I think of my 'picture' - it turns to grey really quickly and it is gone from my mind.


so my questions are - is there a name for this. i remember reading it somewhere and I would like to go and research it and see how I put something in my mind.

I don't know if this is related but over the past few weeks I have a sense of different voices (they are not real voices) - I want to say parts - but I don't want ppl to think the are DID parts - so I have voices or parts of me in my head. I distinctly have 3 but there is at least 2 more. The strongest one is the protector and this one silences the hurt one (who feels like a kidnapped person) all the time. The strong voice forces the hurt one to dissociate in session or at least to silence. There is another one that is more supportive of the hurt one but it isn't around.

I get the feeling that the protector is the one who is stopping me from conjuring up the visions in my mind because the fade out I get from trying to do this is similar to when I dissociate.

Thanks SD