Janedoe,

I have a very difficult time naming emotions as well. It's like I don't speak that "language". One thing that does help is if I can describe the emotion in terms of a visual image in my head. That is tremendously powerful for me. I am able to better identify the emotion without having to rely solely on words. I'm a visual person so this works well for me.

Oh yes, it is very hard for me to identify any feeling other than okay, as in I am feeling okay or not as okay as is possible. Outside of that, I am at a loss.

Yes, tearful! I know exactly what you're talking about and it is beyond explanation...

I understand, sometimes I know something is not right but can't put a name to what I'm feeling. My T gave me a sheet with about 100 different emotions listed (how can there be so many!?!) to help me to start putting words to my feelings.

What you have described is called alexithymia. Here is a Wikipedia link for an overview, which breaks this condition down into two main categories called "primary" or "trait" alexithymia and "secondary" or "state" alexithymia. Apparently, it is a rather common co-occurrence for those who suffer from PSTD, eating disorders, depression, panic/anxiety disorders, some personality disorders, sexual disorders, and substance abusers, as well as a handful of physical illnesses. That covers a significant percentage of the human population, and yet I, for one, rarely hear about it being discussed.

it's good to know I'm not alone in this.

MH, yeah, it's is new for me to be working on this and it is so hard. My T knows a little about it, but is learning more along with me.

In this article, Naming Emotions Makes You Feel Better

it says, "Putting feelings into words makes sadness and anger less intense, according to U.S. brain researchers on Thursday. They said naming negative feelings activates a part of the brain that is in charge of impulse control..."

That makes sense to me. When I feel something, and I don't even know what it is, it somehow feels like it controls me more and it is much harder to not only process it, but stay in control. It gets easier when I can name them, but shiesh, it is so hard. The more I work on it, the better I am getting, but it is also making me more aware of how hard it is for me because I have to work so hard. Often all I can say is I feel tearful or my hands are tense or whatever... somehow, by noticing and sitting with these sensations and experience them, and talk about them, my T thinks it will help me name them more over time. I think it's working but shiesh...

it's so awful to feel so much and not even know what it is. sigh.

A new experience in my process of trying to name emotions:

I have been through a rough week… a rough month... This last weekend, my T was very concerned about me and checked in a couple of times with me (this is unusual for me to be struggling that much, but normal for her to do if someone is.) Today, I saw my regular T and I’ll see my eq T later on too (the appointments just ended up being scheduled on the same day this week.) Today, I feel oddly… lighter? maybe happy? Oh shiesh, only I would relief and happiness and then wonder what is wrong with me to feel this. My T said she was relieved to see me be “lighter.” I’m exhausted, drained, sad, but… I dunno… I feel almost like I do after a long run – almost like an endorphin rush. I’m not even sure what emotion this is…

(and I do wonder if something is wrong to feel this so suddenly. It's the suddenness of feeling it that is weird to me. My T says it's ok, not a sign something is wrong, just go with it and she will tell me if it seems a problem... sigh...)

I am right there with you! Most times I have no idea what I feel. I sympathize with your pain - it's frustrating and scary to not understand what you feel.