Hi Wondering,
Welcome to the forums! I feel for you this sounds like you're in a tough position. Since you asked for advice, I'm going to be very straight with you about what I see but please take it with a grain of salt. All I know is what you've written in this one post, so I could be wildly wrong.

The main thing that hit me was if you knew you wanted kids when you met him and knew he didn't want them, why did you go ahead and marry him? It seems like incompatibility over wanting kids would have been a no-go signal about getting married. The other thing that really struck me was that you said he "made" you get abortions both times. Which I take to mean that you did not want to get the abortions (obviously if you want more children the pregnancy wasn't as unwelcome for you as it was for your husband.) So I think my first advice would be to possibly seek out a therapist to explore why you married someone whose desire for a family was so different than your own.

As far as the present, it's difficult. The truth is that you married your husband knowing he felt this way about children. I feel very strongly that having a child should be something that both partners desire as its hard enough to raise a child when you're both all in. And your husband pressing you to get two abortions tells me he's pretty intractable on the subject of having more children. So I think if you stay with your husband you are faced with learning to live with the fact that you won't have any more children. Based on my values (which are NOT necessarily yours) I would feel like as long as there are no other compelling reasons to leave the marriage, that it would be more important for me to stay and keep my existing daughter's family intact, then to leave in order to have more children.

But I would again recommend therapy if this is the decision you make because it could help you come to terms with the loss involved in giving up having more children.

And I hope I'm not being offensive but I'm so sorry about the abortions. I can't imagine how difficult that must have been to do knowing how much you wanted the children.

AG

Hi Wondering
I'm about your age, not married, no kids and not a whole lot of life experience.
I think you were both very young when you got married and probably were hoping that your love will sort out the different view on your future together.
I can understand how somebody may not want to have kids when he/she is 18, but you grow up, you change and eventually most people (I suppose) would think of having a child.
I'm not very maternal person myself, but imagine a man I love making me terminate pregnancy, I think I would hate him for the rest of my life. I'm sorry for too personal and emotional opinion. As I say not a whole lot of life/family experience.

Thank you both for your replies. First off, I do not take any offense to any advice given. I appreciate any advice, and the thought behind it.
Attachment Girl - we were both young when we met, I was 15, he was 18. We, or at least I, wasnt thinking long term at the time. We just kinda grew together, and moulded to each others lifestyles, and have not been apart since. The reason I married him is because he is an amazing man. He makes me feel very secure. He is a good provider, and a very intelligent man. Whats that they say - Jack of all trades, master of none? Well, he is jack of all trades, master of all trades!! There is nothing he cant do. His only flaw is the kids thing. But, that said, he also said he would never get married, never have any kids, never buy a house, etc....I just assumed that would all change, and naturally happen over time as we grew up. And it did for the most part. After we had our first daughter, I was fine with not having any more, or at least never thought much about it. I was happy & content. Then when I got pregnant again(that was 3 years ago, and our daughter was 6 at the time), that is what started the whole thought process. After that, it was all downhill for me. All I could think about was I had everything in life I wanted, and I gave it up for him, to keep him happy. The thought of having another baby constantly consumes my thoughts, but you are right, I have no other reasons to leave a good marriage, so I will live with, and accept what I have been blessed with, and deal with my feelings over time. After all, they say time heals all : )
Amazon - I agree with you about ppl changing over time as they grow older. I know both my husband & I have. I think maybe a small, tiny part of me hates him for making me do it, but I also think the rest of me is, disappointed I guess, that he would make me do it for no other reason than he didnt want any more. If he is so adimant about it, then why doesnt he go get fixed? He wont do it, I think part of him is scared to do it, so I would never press that issue. We are both finacially stable, work full time, own our old country home, vehicles are paid for etc, so I see no reason, and he has never been able to give me one(other than he doesnt like crying babies), as to why....and maybe thats part of my problem, is not understanding the why. I do not bring up the subject anymore, as I know it will just cause un-necessary arguements, so every once in awhile I need a shoulder to cry on, get it off of my chest, and go on.