I don't have a "typical" ED but I feel like I do of some sorts, my trigger is different and my behavior is different but I'm definitely not normal when it comes to food.
Anyway. It sounds like he is in a really bad place. I feel like inpatient treatment is definitely necessary.
He has to learn how to eat. He has to have a structure so he sleeps normally. It would also give him some sort of safety and a feeling of "the world is ok right now". I GUESS, I haven't been an inpatient but I think I will be soon so I'm listing some pros from my list
Is he being bullied in school? Or why isn't he going anymore? Does anyone know?
A child is not suicidal just like that. It doesn't happen. If a kid kills him/herself then that makes the news around the globe. So there must be something huge that is making him so self destructive.
I don't take meds either so I don't know about that.

I was googling all sorts of words to get addresses for clinics that also offer a program strictly for male patients but couldn't find one.
However, the National Eating Disorder Association has a free hotline you can call to ask questions, I'm pretty sure they can tell you some places:
National Eating Disorder Association

http://www.rogerseatingdisorders.org/

has the first male eating disorder clinic and would probably have contact info for others.

http://www.edtreatmentcenters....eating-disorders.php

has a lot of info

It is a growing problem, and it's not actually that rare (my T talked about it once about how it is increasing a lot). It kind of frustrates me a little to be honest. Especially when he is self injurying and sucidial - there is so much out there that could be used ot help get to the heart of this. In my own area there is several clinics that focus on DBT skills and I wonder if there would not be an partial hospitalization program that could help him just learn new coping skills. That's what recovery in the first stages is about - getting medically stable, learning new skills, and then working on the deeper issues. Lots of people and programs can provide this for all kinds of programs - he might be mixed in with males and females dealing with all kinds of problems.

It is also best for the whole family to get help. I know all the rest seem to be doing well, but at the very least, having a family member struggle like this is very hard. I would recommend highly that the family members each get into therapy for a short time. They will learn how they can better help him, and themselves. Studies have shown this to be very effective and important in treating eating disorders. It's not the family's fault, (it's not about blaming anyone anyhow.) It's about healing in the best way possible. I'm concerned this P is not talking to the parents more and working with them.

Meds may be right, they may not be. Meds alone of course won't be enough. It sounds like he needs something more comprehensive than he is getting - and it doesn;t have ot be meds if his parents are so against that. Even getting him into something more intensive for a period of time, that might jumpstart his recovery and open him up or his parents up to other options. As his parents, they can legally require him to take them, sorta, but forcing them might cause more harm than good.

Why this started? because it did. oh, bless those parents... it is not their fault... he is just coping the best he can and he needs some help to learn some better ways to cope before this gets worse and worse.

I get the impression a more through work up might be needed, especially at this point. If his hair is falling out, his primary care doctor needs to be involved. Just the amount of food he is eating - for a growing 14 year old boy, that is very concerning. Nurtitional problems like this can really affect his growth and brain.

I think his parents *might* be struggling with pain and denial themselves, and that's not uncommon.

I know he has a psychologist, but if he's been with him awhile and it's not getting better but worse...

The longer it goes on, the harder it can be to beat, and the sooner he gets the help and support he needs that fits him, and his family, the easier it will be to recover and live a full happy life.

To get specialized care - it is out there.

I guess this triggered something in me, not in a bad way, but my response might be too strong. If my response is not helpful or is totally off, just ignore.

but I do know these tow things for sure:

Guys everywhere - there is help if you have an eating disorder too. You are not alone! There is hope and help!

TN - it is so sweet and wonderful of you to search around to help this family and sweet kiddo out.

~jane

two more links - to an article that might be helpful:
Male Eating Disorders May Be More Common Than We Think - http://news.medill.northwester.../news.aspx?id=114097

And a refferal site:
http://www.edreferral.com/males_eating_disorders.htm
*this site talks about who 10 percent of those with eating disorders are men. 1 in 10? That's not that rare.

Hi PF and Jane... thank you both so much for all the links and advice.

It is very sad to see this boy wasting away and I feel frustrated in being unable to help more. I do think the parents are struggling to face what is really going on. Like if they have to take drastic measures then they have to acknowledge the severity of what is happening. And I agree it would benefit the parents to be in therapy as well. Personally, I don't think his therapist is doing him any good. And it seems that no one wants to challenge him in any way because he holds the "i'll kill myself" card that he throws at them all the time. It's very upsetting to all of us.

The parents are now working on having him home schooled and hiring tutors for him but I don't even see how he can focus on his work being so starved... I'm sure his brain is suffering the lack of nutritian and yes we are concerned that this is also a time of optimal growth for a teen and he needs protein etc. They can't even get him to go for blood tests so they don't know how bad his physical health is.

I will go now and check out all the links. Thanks so much to you both.

Hugs
TN

gosh, the threatening to kill himself - that alone, if the psychologist knew, the psychologist could have him hospitalized on that alone. The amount to which he is starving himself - while his parents can't get him to get care, he could possible meet the grounds for a 72 hour via the psychologist... which may not help... and I feel really bad for saying he probably would meet grounds for that... but they, the P and the parents, are not out of options. It concerns me that he is refusing to even see a doctor... I hope they all can find some way to help him out. He's got to be hurting so much. Maybe home schooling will free him up to get therapy and treatment he needs without missing school in a way where his peers would give him a hard time about...

Hi DF... thanks for the info. Can I ask what IOP means. I figured out the others are in patient and out patient.

The problem is some places take males but not boys.

I need to read the sites and then talk to the parents. I am not happy with the P because I think he could be doing more or at least keeping the parents in the loop as to what his plans and goals are.

TN