It's been a rough few weeks and my current T is on medical leave. I think I'm going to call next week to see which week in March she is coming back.
It's one of those weeks that has been tough and I just needed some friends to hang out with or something, but everyone I know has sick kids or is really ill themselves. A few weeks ago when my friends were available I had the sick kids and too much homework to do, of course, so I was unable to see them.
Anyway, why the last few weeks have been tough....
The only grandparent that I had left died last week, so my entire family is grieving and we had to do the funeral stuff this week. That took soooo much out of me and everyone else as well.
I miss my grandparent!
I'm also relieved that there isn't any more suffering for that individual. In one of my T training school classes I feel completely lost. The midterm test is coming up soon and I feel I don't understand at least half of what we are doing. There is tutoring available, but only on the day that I am not in that city because of my job.
Speaking of my job....due to management changes that will be coming up in July, I might not have a job or I will have to interview for a position that will be very different from the one I have now.
At least for now my hours at work have been reduced in the last week, so I will have more time to devote to school and my kids.I feel like everything is up in the air! I don't really know what is going on at work, I have my interview for my T training school internship placement next week, and I have no idea on what my schedule is going to look like next year (at school, work or internship).
I also miss my current T and not having someone to listen, validate, and help challenge my thinking.
And of course, this makes me miss my old T too!!
In one class the things we are discussing and needing to reflect on remind me sooo much of sessions with former T. One of the reasons I left T with her (besides insurance ending) was that we discussed me possibly doing an internship at her clinic. Well, more than likely I will not be doing an internship at her clinic. The clinic I'm interviewing at next week is a city block away from her office. I heard that the internships aren't set in stone even after the interview, but I'm pretty sure this is the clinic that the professors would like me to be at due to the staff that they know there.
This last week I've really missed former T a lot!! I did the not so great former client thing and went to her Facebook page. She still has it rather open, so just about everyone can see it. We have some friends in common, so maybe that's why I can see all of her stuff...I'm not sure. Anyway, she had the cutest pics of herself up! She also looked extremely happy, which warms my heart (looks like a new love interest is in her pics too)!
I've tried to keep those photos in my mind along with the sound of her voice and some of the positive statements that she used to say to me.
It's helping, but I still miss her.
I tried to talk to current T about this a couple of months ago, but current T just told me it's my choice to close that door.
I know I miss therapy sessions no matter who it is with right now. I just miss that time with someone who is trained to listen, empathize, and question.
Thank you all for reading. I love this community!
Well, I think I'm going to read a few pages of homework and head to bed.
