Rachel, maybe you shouldn't think of it as never seeing her again. I had a ten year break and went back to my same T. Maybe you you can do a check in visit on your breaks from school. I am sure you will voice this concern to your T and she will help you plan. A year is a long time and by then you may feel more ready.

((((R))))) I've been wanting to move countries for some time and my healing has kept me here 4yrs when I could really move anywhere in the world... Even thinking of leaving is hard... And actually having to I'm so sorry.

A good person to talk to, and I hope she will chime in... Would be Diva. She has seen a t in school (not HS, cut college). She might have some perspective or ideas... I know she had summers off and stuff??

I don't know what I can do to help, but I am listening.

See your T in the term breaks and ask if she might do skype contact maybe once a fortnight in term time?

I bet she wont want you to feel vulnerable and open to relapse.

I had a pdoc/t who retired (on me) with a three month notice. I went into deep mourning. I felt like I had learned of her death date, and we would have this final separation.

It took me all of those three months, and then some, to realize that even after we terminated, she would still be alive. In reality, I could call her, email her - and I have done so a handful of times. Allowing myself to recognize that it wasn't The End helped to give me some breathing space. Of course, it is a very different relationship now. But she still knows my story, still cares about me, and is still interested when I send her little updates.

There is also one T who I always send a Christmas letter to with a brief summary of the highlights of my year. I always get a warm letter back from her.

Breathe. You don't need to be anxious about this now. Have some confidence that you and T will work out a way for this to be okay. Not saying it won't be hard, but it IS doable, and you will survive. And, you CAN survive without relapsing.

hugs,
-RT