Hi JD,

I'm really sorry to hear you're suffering from panic attacks. I started having them about a month before I was to get out of the Army (a long time ago ). The first time I had one, I called an ambulance because I thought I was dying. A few episodes later I learned what they really were, and was advised to get therapy as soon as I got back home, or they would get worse. Well, I ended up putting it off, and they did get worse. I started having those feelings of "dread" and "impending doom" they say you will get if left untreated...so I went to therapy. After a few sessions, the T noticed that when I was tense, I would talk without breathing, so he made the suggestion to slow down and breathe through the panic attacks and maybe they would start to go away. And they did...it took about two or three months, but each time I had one, I made sure to breathe, not "deep" breaths, but complete breaths...instead of tensing up and taking quick short breaths or even holding it. I would ride each one out this way. They started getting farther and farther apart, and shorter, and eventually stopped altogether.

I also had the support of my sister and another friend at the time I could talk to about it, so I didn't feel so "crazy"...it is a really scary feeling, those panic attacks. I'm sorry you are going through them. I wish I had another suggestion since you said the breathing isn't helping. Has your T suggested any ways of coping with the symptoms and addressing the underlying causes?

Good luck, JD...I'll be thinking of you...let us know how it goes...

Hugs,
SG

janedoe. glad to hear they are 'progress'. i guess that makes sense, that you are feeling more, and that 'feeling' of feeling is new. i think i always know i am 'feeling'...but it is this massive doom of fog, that sometimes i can't sort out as to what the feeling is...but this dbt stuff is helping that somewhat. but, a step between feeling and fight/flight makes sense. that helps me too, so thanks. and yes, i guess it is what you DO in this step that matters...i know the breathing sounds hokey, but, keep at it as that controls the physical aspect of it. but, the mental aspect?? seems that there lies the problem, eh?

one thing she told me yesterday, and this might help with the panic attacks (i am not sure if that is what my mounting fear/dread is diagnosed as, but it does have a melt down/letting out aspect that could be that??) is to take a break when these moments begin...to escape a bit from whatever or whoever is present, even if alone, from the thought in your head, even if it is drastic, to distract yourself, to ease in and out of the feeling you are feeling. my deal, is i want to totally escape and never come back to it, so i get into intense activity (tennis) or the opposite (sleep) and never come back to the problem. i tell myself (judging) that these 'baby steps' of coming into and out of a feeling are for wimps, and i need to be a big girl and face it head on, and then i do, and, at times, there is 'fall out'! i feel i ought to be able to 'handle' the situation that is causing the stress, that i should be a big girl, and i push back the anxiety until it breaks through in big and ugly ways....generally, an out of body melt down into a five year old hysterical 'panic attack'? maybe that is what it is for me. i hadn't thought of it in those words though. but, maybe?

so, my assignment is to venture IN and venture OUT of feelings, not to avoid, as, for ME, that leads to a meltdown/panic attack(?) as undoubtedly, the feeling returns and i can't block it and ... it gets ugly.

janedoe, i don't know if that helps or not, it is dbt stuff, but maybe something is useful?


DF, pm me if you are more comfy, but, may i ask, what ssri are you on that helps with sleep. i see that for me, sleep is so hard. i ruminate myself into anxiety that i can't turn off so well at night, and, despite taking lunesta 3mg and remeron 15 or 30mg depending on the night, AND melatonin, i have sleep issues....i seem to be one that 'you can't put down', i remember a dental series of surgeries that the dr. gave me the maximum of nitris and a pill of something, and i was still wired.

jill

janedoe, regarding the panic attacks...can you distract yourself in the moment? get some physical grounding (go outside, listen to music, do something physical?) and work to combine the logic/rational part of you with the emotion you are panicked about, and slow the breathing. concentrate on the air coming in and out, count it out...8 beats inhale, 4 beats exhale? i have heard that counting backwards alternated my singing a simple song...back and forth between the two, uses right then left brain skills...and these things help your body get a better equalibrium.



df, i will talk to my p about trazadone. i like that it is an antidepressant, so maybe it will cover two bases for the price of one. i would like to get off of some of this other stuff.

i am thinking of trying effexor again, i know the getting off of it is hard, i did it cold turkey, and by the time i realized why i was bonkers, i figured i was close eneough to being done with it to get back on at a lower dose. anyway. i sure had some good years on that one. and really, this remeron does not do that much anti-depressant control or ruminating thoughts control. i think it just is a boost for sleep, but doesn't keep me asleep through the night. sounds like trazadone does that for you...i wonder how they compare.

oh, back to the p....i tell you, p's and t's will be the LAST business to go under!! the worse the economy/world, the better their business. shoulda been a t!! jill

SG ~
that is so encouraging to know they got better!

I think I write off breathing too easily. It is actually a new thing that focusing on my body feels ok. I think I just write it off because it used to not feel ok, so I’d never feel better taking deep breaths… hmm, time to give it another try.

You were having attacking coming out of the Army? I would have had them going in! That's amazing. (btw, thanks for serving our country. )

My T said that every T I let the anxiety peak and ride it through, it is likely to get less. It’s beginning to feel that way a little. I do keep having longer breaks of feeling pretty good. But then again, here I am again, up way too early and sick to my stomach with anxiety. It keeps coming back, and I’m getting really worn out.

It’s an odd thing because I’m not sure what I am anxious or nervous about – but have this sense that it is life and death. As if my body is trying to protect me from some kind of life threatening harm, even when all I am doing is just making breakfast. Sigh.

I have a strong desire to escape or numb out, but I can’t seem to check out so easily, and my T says it’s because I have been working so hard to sit and be with my feelings (which is a good thing). Underlying causes? Not really sure. Because there is not a specific thought, it’s so hard to really get a handle on. I have a huge urge to almost find something to be nervous about, or to be nervous or almost controlling about everything from how clean is my fridge to things that actually matter a bit more.

I’m so glad you had your sister and a friend to talk to. It’s so hard to ride through it all alone. But I’m learning to reach out a bit more.

Thank you so much SG for the input and encouragement. I t is so good and very comforting to be reminded I am not alone in this.


Deepfried ~
Argh, that would bug me too if my T was convinced of that. She actually think leanring to ride through the panic, helps the body learn it’s ok, and eventually have the best long term success at reducing the panic. She gave me some studies and articles about recent work various people have done on this and exposure therapy kind of ideas. They basically argue that by taking medication or doing various protective/defensive behaviors, it makes it harder for the body to learn, and that when people just rode through the panic, it got better faster. Of course the problem is when it’s so bad I can’t function or I’m making myself sick. And that’s when my T encourages me to take meds.

Yes, I am about to leave on a trip to go to a place halfway around the world in a few days. I don’t think I am nervous about that, but maybe I am, maybe I should be. No, wait, I am nervous about that. ugh. Packing freaks me out before any trip, and now I’m trying to pack to go halfway around the world. It’s not a life and death thing. I’m not really risking my life anymore than I am traveling a few states away. I can do this. Or this is at least what I keep telling myself… Yesterday morning I did email a friend, and she was really kind and reminded me, take some deep breaths, it’s ok.

Sleep is critical! and a challenge for me. Trazadone helps me too – but for me, I get awful nightmares every single time I take it – so I’m trying to figure that one out.
Good reminder about eating too! Ah, a lightblub came on for me with that one. My T did once tell me about how when I don’t eat, it is a way to numb out – which eventually leads to flooding, and biochemically sets me up to feel more emotions and be more vulnerable emotionally. (Time to go get breakfast!)

Thanks for the great feedback!


Jill ~
oh I crave being able to just escape… but coming back to it, holding to the awareness that it’s still there, is pretty critical. Otherwise I am just numbing and as my T says, numbing leads to flooding… and distraction with mindfulness is good coping. I am beginning to figure out how to actually do that.

Right now, I crave distracting by crawling up into my head a bit and imagining good moents I have experienced. I don’t know if it is a good idea or not… but it is helping…

Oh wow… I think I am really nervous about packing for this trip… (Sorry. Random nervous thought creeping in there.)

quote:

so, my assignment is to venture IN and venture OUT of feelings, not to avoid, as, for ME, that leads to a meltdown/panic attack(?) as undoubtedly, the feeling returns and i can't block it and ... it gets ugly.

I just love the way you wrote that! It has me thinking...

I’m not very good at that, just touching in and going in and out – and yet, at the same time, I do it ALL the time with the therapy horses. I can do it, with them, so it is possible for me to do it in general… oh that gives me so much hope! Thanks Jill!

I can relate to what you wrote… oh darn, my stupid anxiety is getting the better of me. I need to go. Will be back later to respond more. sorry about the badly written and edited response.

~jane