quote:

Another thing he always asks me if I want to see him,

Can you explain this little better, do you have regular sessions or do you decide session to session ?

Yeah every other week, so when he asks me that I feel strange like maybe I don't need counseling anymore. I know I do have a lot of issues to work through yet and like I said I have only been in for 4 months.

I'm not quite sure I see where the transference fits into this situation. It sounds like you see him as a friend because he is there to listen to your struggles and not use your words against you. The difference between your T and your friends is that his job is to keep the relationship one-directional. In other words, he is there to support you, and when he starts to ask you for support in return, he has crossed the ethical boundary of a therapeutic relationship in a formal sense. But, the fact that you see him as a friend - or that he sees you in this way - is great, because that demonstrates the trust and connection in your relationship.

Sometimes a T does have to "figure out" how to help a client. They have an entire tool chest of techniques, and they have to find the right combination to help each individual, which is not always an easy task. My T took a year to figure out how to work with me. Before then, picture long awkward pauses!

My T also has asked me about stopping therapy. Her intent is not that she doesn't want to work with me or doesn't think she can. Her intent is rather for my benefit. If I am always struggling when I talk to her or making changes very very slowly, she starts to question if she is helping me at all. It's a reasonable question, but I do make it a point to explain to her why I keep coming, how she helps me, and the small ways I am making changes in thoughts or actions. Other times, when I literally wasn't making changes but was rather at a point of just contemplating change, this question was more of a way to motivate me to take the work of therapy into my own hands. A little tough love, I suppose.

I don't know if I understood your post fully, but hopefully something here makes sense for what you were trying to express.

Yes you hit it right on the head, Thank you. I guess I get to antithetical always trying to figure everyone and everything out. So yes you answered my question.