Is it possible (financially and time wise) to just say like you feel an extra session ahead of schedule, if she gets an opening? It sounds like you had a lot of important things to process.

If that's not feasible or necessary, I'd say you can try priortizing, but I find it rarely works for me. If there is something really important, like safety recently, then sometimes I will have to FORCE myself on it (if I don't freeze), but usually, I have no control over what "needs" to be talked about in the moment. I have a lot of trouble even initating at all, because as soon as I see T, my mind becomes a jumble of conflicting things that parts of me want to say and then when I try to select one, I get so confused that I just freeze.

There is no harm in just trying to prioritize your discussion and telling her in advance: "I really want to at LEAST address these two topics." Unless they are brief questions that don't involve me giving any input, I have found we can rarely get to more than two topics in a single session lately...I have about five to ten topics come up a week (although as many as half may be past ones that still never got addressed), so it's pretty rare that I feel a sense of "completion" in a session. That said, I'm learning, slowly, that my T will be there for my phone session, then my next office session. I talk to him twice a week. Eventually, if something NEEDS to be talked about, it will still "be there" to talk about. Sometimes things sink below the surface and I worry that they will be lost forever, because my mind makes things go away very easily. It's hard to remember that if they absolutely need to be dealt with, they will surface again eventually, and I don't have a time limit with my therapy to discuss them. I guess this is the pacing T has been trying to get me to do for months.

I totally get what you're saying Daisy. I've even asked my T if she would do double sessions once in a while, just so I'd have more time! She said she doesn't do that, and instead would just prefer to book sessions two days in a row, if needed. I admit, I had to agree with her, as by the end of my session, I'm usually ready to be done, but there are those few sessions where I really wish we had more time.

I've gotten much better at jumping right in when I get into her office. I used to try to make small talk or comment on the weather or something, those customary social topics that are so not necessary anymore. Now, I jump right in, and on days when I am too overwhelmed to talk, jumping right in means handing my T a note that has written on it what I don't think I'll be able to speak - sometimes it's just a sentence or two, sometimes it's a full on letter. It helps her know what I need to talk about and it cuts right to the topics instead of dancing around what I am trying to say.

I've also had sessions where I come in and sit down, and T says that we're going to save 10 minutes at the end for Ts topic/agenda. This helps me know that T has something to discuss, and it also means that T is taking responsibility for the time, so I can ramble on about the urgent things that are at the forefront of my mind, and know that T will take care of what needs to be taken care of for me.

Yakusoku, Part of me would love to have more sessions with my T but that's not possible. He only works one day a week for himself and the other days at a hospital which sets the fees so to see him any other day would cost me 3 times as much. I would also feel daft for needing an extra session as I always feel my problems don't really warrent it, therefore even if it was possible I would find it really difficult to ask for an extra session. At the moment sometimes I seem to start talking about what is easiest rather than what is most important but as you say if it needs to be talked about it does come up again.

Room2Grow, I so understand your comment about jumping straight in. I can find that I waste 5 to 10 minutes of the session before we start talking about what really needs to be discussed. Did anything help with being able to just jump right in? My T said at our next session he won't say anything to start the session just sit there and let me start with whatever was important to me. So will see how next weeks session goes.

Daisy.

Daisy,

I know where you are coming from with this. There is never enough time, especially after a long break. I nearly always have double sessions yet still sometimes I run out of time. One thing that I found really hepful is to write everything down that I need her to know before I go to the session. Then I can hand it over at the start and she can read it and get the jist of what's happened since the last session and what I want to talk about, and can help me prioritise wher to begin. I know that for me it's saved lots of time. Also sometimes it's easier to write hard things down than to say them. Don't know if that's any help Daisy, I hope it gives you a few ideas anyway.

starfish