I'm going though what sounds like pretty much the same thing. I’ve been feeling like maybe our relationship isn’t working or I’m just looking for things he can’t give me or something for the last 2 months. Our last session last week on Tuesday was the breaking point… I didn’t know what to do but I knew he wouldn’t be supportive or helpful so I decided to make a bunch of consultation sessions with other T’s so I can try and get some answers and figure out what’s working and what’s not. I e-mailed about half the male T’s in my area and I got a lot of emails back quickly and made sessions for that week. I saw 2 duds that didn’t help and then saw a T that helped me more than I could ever hope for. When I told my T I wanted to talk to a couple other T’s he wasn’t supportive at all, but he later said that he was okay with me talking things out with other T’s. So because of the experience that I’ve had I do recommend checking out some other T’s just for consult sessions. You might find that the problems are just things that you need to work on and will transfer over to any relationship you have with a T, or you might find that the problems lie with the relationship with your T, and it would be better to work with someone else.

I’ve dealt with the insistence that everything is fine from my T too... if I try and bring up something that I feel isn’t working he will just go on and on about how much I’ve changed and how good I’m doing and that I’m still working and it takes time. It’s very frustrating and makes me question what I feel which is another reason why it was great to talk to another T.

wow. interesting. thanks mac. so youre sticking with the current T? it was a one time consult?
thanks so much for your input.

what is it that isnt working? if you dont want to answer i understand.

I’m not seeing the other T again, and am definitely going to talk everything over with my T, I guess you could say I'm sticking with him for the time being. I have to have a more concrete idea of what's not working before I can post it here.

good for you. sounds like youre on the right track.
im also not entirely clear on what is not working in my relationship w. the T.

its like a weird feedback loop. its feels like a transference issue and then it feels that the T should be doing a better job of helping me understand that rather than just living it out. i dont know. not sure if that makes sense.

good luck and ill let you know what happens w. my consults.

hi all. because of the turmoil going on in the relationship with my t, she referred me a few weeks ago to a CBT therapist. the cbt therapist said he didnt do adjunct cbt therapy and would work with me as my sole therapist or i could stick with the other one. he felt this was best for me.
so knowing i wanted a differnt t, i made a bunch of appointments for consults with other t's.
now im wondering, and i will ask the cbt therapist, if he can do all my therapy or if i need to go elsehwere. i guess i dont know if my issues are amenable to how cbt works. so far i like this guy but its not as deep so far as with my old t. i also have not term'd old t officially.
and i have three initial appointments setup with other t's. ugh. this feels out of control to me.

thanks for reading this.

Da Rock,

How are things going now? Where do things stand with your T?