((((sgoldenbee))))

I don't think we have met yet, welcome to the forum. Oh, I am so sorry for what your sister's boyfriend is dealing with. Do any of you know what event triggered this? (sometimes there is a specific trigger, sometimes not, and often, it is hard to know.)

As for not speaking, I had a bad dissociative episode once where I frooze up. I didn't talk, didn't even respond in any other way to anyone else talking to me. For me, I can't tell you what I was thinking either... I just shut down. I do know that the kind words of my trusted T helped me feel safe as it was "wearing off." Eventually, in an hour, I was responding and talking again. That was my experience. Do you or your H remember anything that helped you?

None of us can really know what is going on for him. There could be many many causes for what he is going through and for his lack of speaking. It could be even medical - like a brain tumor, or it could be a side effect of medications. It could be that he is in a state of shock from a trauma, or catatonia. It could be that he has psychogenic aphasia... Not sleeping for three days straight alone can be a trigger in and of itself for a lot of psychological difficulties. My sleep medicine doctor said that hallucinations are common with severe sleep deprivation. Not sleeping itself is a sign that he was struggling in some way. He could just be shut down really badly. He... well, there could be lots of reasons we could speculate. Have you or your sister been able to communicate with the staff working with him? did he sign to allow that?

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As well as the voices he is hearing? They seem to show up when he's more tired or stressed. This is the first time this has occurred for him, and I experienced hallucinations but not voices.

It is my understanding from clients that I worked with at my old job with schizophrenia (not saying that is what he or you had) that auditory and visual hallucinations, along with most psychological difficulties, often get worse with stress or fatigue. I found from personal experience that arguing with them that the hallucination wasn't real, isn't generally very helpful for friends and family to do. That was just my limited personal experience.

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His dad left before birth & mom always blamed him for the bad in her life and severely neglected him and has this delusion that she'll come around even though she could care less about him.

It doesn't sound so unusual for him to hope and think that his mother will come back around, especially when he doesn't have a dad in the picture. It took me a very long time to accept that my father is the way he is, and it is taking even longer for me to accept that about my mother too. And honestly, I still hope/think one day it will be different... As kids, we are hard-wired to want our parents, no matter how horrible they are. That is why child abuse is so damaging and why dissociative defenses are built up to handle such abuse, while still keeping the attachment to the caregiver, even a neglectful one.

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Also what is the best way to communicate with someone during this time?

This is a tough but very good question. I'd say to talk to him just like you would want to be talked with. Like, don't talk at him, but with him... and if he doesn't respond, but seems ok to having you or your sister around, just be around. Mental facilities are tough places in and of themselves, and any kind of kind support might help. The staff at the facility will likely be able to help him a lot, and he will likely get better in time. If they let you bring stuff in, maybe you and your sister can see about bringing his favorite book or something that would be of comfort to him...

I don't know if any of what I have written is helpful or if it is all off the mark. Feel free to ignore anything that doesn't fit - and I'm sure others will have much better input.

I hope he gets better soon - I'm glad he has a caring concerned person in his life like you.

~ jane

Yes it helped very much thank you.

BTW I just found out that the trigger was that, it actually started a few weeks back,had actually not been sleeping well for a while now but from what my sister just said, he was extremely worried about his mom and what he could do to help her because like many times before his mom was in a domestic violence situation with her current boyfriend.

This time she had asked him to let her move into his apartment, he said yes then in a matter of days went back to the abuser after complaining to her son about him as she does every time.

She has apparently been doing this since he was a very small child with any boyfriend or husband she has had. She gets in an abusive situation and then goes back to them. She can't get out of that cycle of violence and consequently she blames her son for her misfortunes and makes him feel guilty as if he owed her for just existing and therefore should do whatever for her to give him some attention. Anyhow..

So last wednesday it happened once again the boyfriend hit her and she called the cops on him and bailed him out after.

That was it, her son just lost it from there.
To make it worse, when she went to see him in the hospital she had the nerve to bring along the guy.
The doctors asked the mom if he had been stressing about anything or worried, to which she responded "no not at all, at least not that I know of" and then they asked about his childhood to which she responded "he had a great childhood, except for the dad leaving but he came to terms with that long ago, so I just cant imagine what it could possibly be".

My poor sister just about lost it too at that moment but didn't feel it was her place to chew out the lady for being so utterly neglectful to notice her son's problems, ever.

He has just been transferred to the mental facility for the proper evaluation and care but my poor sister had not left his side since he was taken to the hospital, and he is still confused so he didn't know what was going on when they took him and now she's afraid that he'll try to run away if he's too scared. They said no one could see him for 24 hours.

My sister's boyfriend has seriously been a blessing to my sister and family my husband and him are like brothers too and its been really hard. I am so glad I have a place I can tell the story and get some support to pass on to my sister and family and use myself.

Thank you for the help jane!

-S