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5 replies

not sure about possible new T..opinions, please!

B brokennessismeMember
I met with this new possible T- she says she works with people with fertility/ body image/ED`s, so I talked with her briefly on the phone. I met with her a few days ago. She showed up for her previous apt 30 min late, so I sat there for almost an hour while she saw her last client. Worst thing was, she walked into the office, with HER DOG on a leash. And she was very overweight. I deal with a bad body image, and yes, she was obese. when she was done with her client, she came out and asked me if I was there to see her (there were no other therapists there) and it was obvious she forgot my name. She ran to get her "file" on me (so she` d remember my name.) I`m not feeling very positive about this. Thoughts? Opinions?
I do have another apt scheduled to see a guy-I have a male T now (I`m female) and it works because I`m not constantly comparing my body to his, which I found myself doing as I spoke to this woman.
I like dogs, it just struck me as unprofessional.
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jonesjonesMember
Hi BIM -

For me, this would be a clear No. What's that saying - 'The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them'?

The extreme lateness, failing to expect you and failing to warn about her dog (what if you were phobic?) would be enough for me. If she gave a strong, clear apology and explanation for these things I might think twice. But I also think it's really legitimate to feel you need your T to be secure and on top of things in the areas you need to work on. Her being obese doesn't necessarily mean that she has body image or eating disorder issues, but those things do correlate quite highly - for me, on top of the other things, it would be hard to feel confident.
jillannjillannMember
I have to agree with Jones. Her weight would make it difficult for me to share my body image and eating issues which should be a part of your therapy if you suffer with an ED. Also her lateness and lack of memory as to your name for your first appt would also turn me off.

Good luck finding someone more appropriate. Not every T is right for every person.
True NorthTrue NorthCo-moderator
Hi BIM.... my oldT used to have his dog in the office and I adored him. He was a therapy dog and was very helpful to me in session. That said... I think this woman was very unprofessional. Her being late, not remembering your name, and being so unprepared for you are all red flags. In addition, you are feeling unable to relate to her because of the issues you are facing. Adding this all up, I would definitely recommend that you look for someone else who fits more of what you are looking for and who is more professional.

TN
B brokennessismeMember
Thanks, everyone. I have an appointment with another therapist (male) later this week. His website lists some good, well established boundaries. I am hoping he`s not too far the other way- on the cold and detached side.
Thanks so much for your thoughts- it`s often hard for me to trust my instincts so it`s helpful to get others` experienced opinions.

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