I am getting so frustrated and worried right now. I still have not heard from my doctor and I am almost out of meds. I called on Friday and the secretary said he was not in the office so I waited until Tuesday to call again cause I know he is not in the office on Mondays. Tuesday she told me that my P was in the office but was seeing a patient so I asked her to let him know that I needed to talk to him about my medication and she said she would. Never heard anything back from him or the secretary on Tuesday so I let it go until the next day. On Wednesday I tried to call and she did not answer the phone. I know they have caller id and figured that was why she did not answer cause you cant just not answer the phone at a doctors office. So I had my husband call and she answered cause they dont know his phone number. She was pretty rude to my husband but said that she would have my P call him instead of me. I am fine with that. I dont need to talk to him if he doesnt want to talk to me as long as he gets me my meds. But my husband never heard anything back from my P. So today he told me to just call the office and ask the secretary if she had gotten to talk to my P about the meds. She told me she had not and that she had told my husband that it wouldnt be until next week because my P was out of the office this week. When my husband called yesterday and mentioned that he thought my P was going to out of town next week (which is what they told me a couple of weeks ago) the secretary acted like he was crazy to think my P was gonna be out of town any time soon. It would seem to me that if we just had the wrong weeks she would have said "no he isnt out of town next week its this week." But she didnt bother telling him that. And when I told him that she said she had told him he wouldnt be back until next week my husband told me that was a flat out lie cause she never said anything close to that. SO now my anxiety is getting really bad. I am freaking out that maybe she is acting that way because he is really going to stop seeing me and she is just playing stupid and trying to hold me off until I get the letter saying I am no longer his patient. I dont know what to do. My anxiety med is the one I am about to run out of too, so this is not the best time to be getting really anxious. I keep thinking that I must have really screwed up this time, but he did say on the phone over a week ago that if he kept seeing me or not depended on how well I did between then and my next appointment. I have not emailed, texted or called his cell phone. I have only called the office to ask about the meds. And when my husband called and the secretary was being rude to him he told her that the reason he was calling for me is because I was worried about what would happen if I called the office again cause they might think i was calling too much. I dont even know what to do right now. I am scared to go check the mail in case there is a letter in there saying I am no longer his patient. My anxiety is going completely crazy and I know for sure there is no chance of him being in the office until Tuesday because he doesnt work at this office on Fridays or Mondays. So I will have to make it all weekend with no anxiety meds, and I am on buspar which is one you shouldnt just quit all at once and it has to stay built up in my system to even work. Its one I cant abuse which is why we chose that one. And if I dont get a call next week I will be without it two weeks, but then I can at least blame it on him. But at the same time I cant believe they are doing this to me. I have enough problems right now and dealing with this anxiety is an extra thing I do not need right now! I am very tempted to text him about this but I really dont want to risk loosing him as my P over it. I just dont know what to do. I dont want to do the wrong things and loose him but I know he will be mad at me when I finds off I am going to be off my meds. And I started calling in plenty of time so they would have time to get me my meds before I ran out so I wouldnt get in trouble for calling at the last minute. Right now I feel like I am going crazy and stuck in a situation with my P that I honestly dont know what the right thing to do and what will get me in trouble or not and feel like no matter what I do I am going to make him mad at me. THIS SUCKS! I am almost ready to just quit and the anxiety is making me want to cut or drink!