Skip to main content

The PsychCafe
Share, connect, and learn.
7 replies

not sure why I feel like this

J janedoeMember
When I think about what happened in my appointments with my Ts this week, I turn bright red. Something is getting to me.

On Monday, I talked with my regular T about a traumatic thing in my past that she has known about in a very vague way, but I have never been able to talk with her about before. On Tuesday, I woke up numb. I struggled with derealization and depersonalization type of dissociation all day. Sometimes that happens for me, but very rarely all day. On Tuesday afternoon, I went to see my eq T. She was very kind and very accepting and helpful about how numb I felt.

I’m not sure why I numbed out on Tuesday. The ironic thing is that I felt less fear about the traumatic event happening again than Ihave ever felt. But somehow, I also felt terribly numb about everything else.

I’m not sure why I today I start to feel flushed and my face turns bright red even when I just try to journal to myself about what happened in the appointments with my Ts this week.

Any ideas or thoughts?
Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

ladygreyladygreyMember
I can relate, JD. I break into hives on my chest when I discuss certain topics with my T2. I've been noticing it lately when I leave and get into my car. I don't really understand the science behind why this happens, but its clear their is a strong mind-body connection.

Despite feeling numb and getting flushed, do you feel good about getting this out in therapy with regular T?
yakusokuyakusokuMember
Jane - I have no idea why it happens, but I have had that over-stimulation following numbing when I've tried to process particularly heavy (good or bad) sessions before. It feels like "too much" is trying to come out of me, I guess. You may experience it differently. Anyway, just wanted to reassure you that others have the same experience. I would be interested in hearing more about your experience as you go through it. I'm never able to really record anything while I'm in it, hence I can't shed much light on it.
theycallmemamatheycallmemamaMember
JD, I sometimes leave a session really angry, and often my anger is displaced like I think I'm angry with T but in actuality there is something stirring, and identifying it is sometimes hard unless I do sit down and journal or pray right away.

I think LG is right that there's a strong connection btwn the mind and body. I think our bodies definitely react to stress in different ways.

I've had a really tough year even outside my therapy stuff, and I've definitely noticed a change in my energy level as a result.

I hope that you are able to resolve it for your sake and soon! Frowner Frustrating, I'm sure!
J janedoeMember
It does seem like I am titrating something, only letting myself go through as much as I can handle. I think I feel deep grief and shame and anger and pain. I don't understand it very well, but exploring it and thinking it through is really helping it not all be so intense or hard to endure.

LG, Yaku, TCMM, FFOW ~ thanks so much everyone. Your thoughts and feedback have been really helpful for me.
scaredtoriskmyselfscaredtoriskmyselfCo-moderator
Jane,

It sounds like what can happen to me when I process trauma. It is the nervous system jumping back and forth trying to find a place that works. At the top end of the extreme you have feeling everything and being highly activated. The flip side is totally numbing out. Ideally we would like to be in the middle, but I've found that in processing I often go to the highly activated and then when that is too much I go numb. Usually then over the next few days I'll find my way back to something near the middle.

It sounds like your body is still processing things that you talked about and processed in T and sometimes it takes a while for that to all settle out. It sounds like you are handling it really well though. I hope you can settle into a good place soon.
J janedoeMember
Thanks STRM. It feels like my body is going through all this stuff and my mind is just giving up and checking out - and then going too fast - and I hope I can find some middle ground soon. Thanks so much for the encouragement.

~~~

hmmm, I wonder if this is why my Ts steadiness is so helpful and grounding for me right now. It's such a contrast to the roller coaster I feel like I am on. The more steady and present she is, the easier it is to just hang on through the pain somehow.

hanging for another day,
~ jd

Add Reply

Post

Membership Required

We're sorry. You must be signed in to continue. Sign In or Register
×
Are you sure you want to remove from your Block List?
×
Loading...
×
When you block a person, they can no longer invite you to a private message or post to your profile wall. Replies and comments they make will be collapsed/hidden by default. Finally, you'll never receive email notifications about content they create or likes they designate for your content.
Note: if you proceed, you will no longer be following .
×
Advanced Search
Advanced Search
Link copied to your clipboard.
×

Access to this requires a premium membership.

Be a Patron Member

Get psychotherapy help to make your therapy easier and better.



Yes, I've learned about all the benefits of being a Patron Member (Click here if you missed seeing them: Community Psychotherapy Help

Yes, I understand that...

1. I can do a 7 day free trial and my credit card will not be charged until that period is up.

2. I can cancel at any time before then and my card will not be charged.

3. That once my credit card is charged, there is no refund offered.

Have a special coupon?

4. If I'm using a coupon my receipt won't show the discounted amount (It'll show $7.95). However, I understand that it will go through as $2.95 when I am billed after the 7 day trial. (According to the current promotion, this discount applies to the first three months of my membership - and as long as I use the coupon in the checkout.)*

*Please note that after the 3 months, billing will revert to the regular monthly fee.
**The fee posted below is our standard billing fee (ie. using no coupon).

7-Day Free Trial, then $7.95 per Month (plus tax if applicable)
×