Had session yesterday...Therapist calls me 60 seconds after I leave office. He says, "I blew it. I forgot to tell you I have a medical procedure Friday and won't be in next week."
PANIC.
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Sorry TAS, that would freak me out too!
(((TAS))) I'm so sorry. I'm glad he acknowledged that he blew it, but still. 
Starlight! Anonymously! RT! Thank you for your replies.
He knows I am not handling it well...because I called and texted (not allowed)...
He called and offered me an appt 11 days from now instead of 14...it came with a condition...the condition is : No calling or texting between now and the appointment. I haven't replied.
Should it come with a condition? He messed up, not me.
Thoughts, please.
He knows I am not handling it well...because I called and texted (not allowed)...
He called and offered me an appt 11 days from now instead of 14...it came with a condition...the condition is : No calling or texting between now and the appointment. I haven't replied.
Should it come with a condition? He messed up, not me.
Thoughts, please.
Sorry he totally messed up ((TAS)). I'm glad he was willing to admit to his mistake. Even still, I'm sure it's no easier. I could be wrong, but isn't that his boundary usually? He doesn't allow outside contact? If that's the case, I would take the appointment. Can't hurt to see him 3 days earlier? Sorry he sprang that on you so suddenly. Not easy.
Erica 
Thank you for the reply
Yes, it is his normal boundary. I just have trouble keeping it. I am actually getting quite discouraged with myself because I can't seem to keep it and then I have to hear him tell me, 'no texting, no phone calls' and then I feel like a little kid...I hate it!
I may be able to make it without him...and handle it myself.
After all, isn't that what the no outside contact helps you to do - not need the Therapist, correct?
Thank you Erica
Thank you for the reply Yes, it is his normal boundary. I just have trouble keeping it. I am actually getting quite discouraged with myself because I can't seem to keep it and then I have to hear him tell me, 'no texting, no phone calls' and then I feel like a little kid...I hate it!
I may be able to make it without him...and handle it myself.
After all, isn't that what the no outside contact helps you to do - not need the Therapist, correct?
Thank you Erica
((TAS)) your T did mess up and you are entitled to your anger and panic.
My T has pretty firm rules about outside contact. For me, they aren't about not needing him, the lack of contact between sessions helps me to a)ground myself in my real life with my family and b) hold my T as a good object. Earlier on in my journey when I had a lot of trouble with object constancy, the out of session contact helped. But it got to a point where I would contact him by email, phone or text and the short reply would be infuriating because I would take it as him saying he had better things to do with his time, and that he wasn't interested in helping me. And why the hell couldn't he drop everything? WHy couldn't he come to my house when I needed him? Why couldnt I spend the weekend in his office? It meant I couldn't use him as a secure and safe haven during my sessions because I'd be furious at being rejected between sessions. It provoked so much negative transference that it became more harmful than helpful. But since the instigation of firmer boundaries, I've felt more secure in his love for me. I know he would never intentionally hurt me. I also am learning that the only person you can ever rely on to be constantly available for you is yourself. THat is a hard lesson to learn when nobody was ever there for you growing up. But as I go on with T, he is there for me session after session, always accepting, listening, challenging me where necessary, caring for me and helping me heal. And gradually I'm coming to do that for myself. Its a long, difficult process but it is worth it. I'm very sorry for the pain you're in at the moment
My T has pretty firm rules about outside contact. For me, they aren't about not needing him, the lack of contact between sessions helps me to a)ground myself in my real life with my family and b) hold my T as a good object. Earlier on in my journey when I had a lot of trouble with object constancy, the out of session contact helped. But it got to a point where I would contact him by email, phone or text and the short reply would be infuriating because I would take it as him saying he had better things to do with his time, and that he wasn't interested in helping me. And why the hell couldn't he drop everything? WHy couldn't he come to my house when I needed him? Why couldnt I spend the weekend in his office? It meant I couldn't use him as a secure and safe haven during my sessions because I'd be furious at being rejected between sessions. It provoked so much negative transference that it became more harmful than helpful. But since the instigation of firmer boundaries, I've felt more secure in his love for me. I know he would never intentionally hurt me. I also am learning that the only person you can ever rely on to be constantly available for you is yourself. THat is a hard lesson to learn when nobody was ever there for you growing up. But as I go on with T, he is there for me session after session, always accepting, listening, challenging me where necessary, caring for me and helping me heal. And gradually I'm coming to do that for myself. Its a long, difficult process but it is worth it. I'm very sorry for the pain you're in at the moment