amen, that!

so timely muff.
at the end of my last session i was telling T about how I'm never physically held when I'm grieving (it freaks DH out) and that there was an absence of safe touch growing up.

I am TERRIFIED he is going to say to me tomorrow that this is another loss I have to mourn. I don't know if I can do this one. I'm already shattered and heartbroken. I don't think I could survive the shame, hurt and rage.

can't survive feeling it. that's worse than surviving it

don't mind the pain just want to be held.
its pretty brutal

yes the pain of rejection, abandonment and loneliness is deeply shattering and devastating.
i really do get that it can be very frightening to see others in such intense distress. yet i get really pissed off because what about my needs? gee i'm sounding so mature aren't i??

There you go, the goal of therapy is to reach that emotional maturity by expressing negative emotions put there by others. I can imagine the strain the process can put on a marriage. It's hard explaining this stuff to others who don't know what its about. Do you?

do i know???? sorry not following you here.
must be time for a french coffee and eclair!

quote:

It can scare the bejeses out of others when they see our pain, especially when it stirs up their unmet needs, and unwanted feelings.

This. I found it was amplified too in my relationship and Mr Mallard and I wound up in couple therapy because we were forever bumping into each other's unmet needs and not reacting helpfully - and then it would escalate.

How would you explain your therapy to someone who never had it GE?

Mr Mallard Duck.

Can 'couple' therapy work without individual therapy?

got the indirect no i was dreading.
this is too hard to bear anymore. i can't handle having my little girl dreams crushed forever

sorry, GE.

thanks ((cat)) and ((RT))
my head has been play games with me.
there is so much more here for little me than there ever has been. I just have to get my defenses out of the way and trust the process.
simple huh??

quote:

I just have to get my defenses out of the way and trust the process.

That's about it. Slowly, slowly.