Hi,
When my old T changed jobs suddenly 20 months ago I was devastated and thought about him all the time. It was 4 months before I settled on my new T and i was still very upset and mentioned him often. It was after a few months with new T that I realised that when I thought of something I wanted to tell T, I was thinking of new T first and then old T.I was so happy when I realised this! Now I think of him occasionally, but am really happy because new T is much better suited to me and I have made so much progress with her.
I do wonder though if I would be still obsessing over old T if I had stopped therapy altogether and not had someone to replace him with.
T is such a special relationship that it takes time to move on.
Good luck!



Starlight

((((CD))))

I think we all obsess about our T's. You are not alone there. I haven't left my T yet so no advice there. Is there a chance you can go back once or twice to see if that will help with the obsession?

(((CD)))
I obsessed over my old T all the time, and even after I realized how much better my new T was for me, I still couldn't stop thinking about old T. It took nearly a year. Now I can actually go for several days without even thinking about him. That's progress in my world.

oh, you all need to know that i appreciate your responses so much! a major reponse in my life is feeling invisible, so i value what you all have to offer. thanks

Cat, therapy ended rather abruptly. the ending wasn't "good" or "bad" i don't think. it was my decision (as it should be), but it was rather abrupt and probably should have been discussed with T before it happened. health insurance is changing, and as a result i'm feeling pressure to make the more "urgent" issues a top priority while watching the dollars. those urgent issues being my daughters' motivation in school and my vision. those two things have bumped therapy. it was a difficult decision, but the right one, i think. it still hurts.

hi, Starlight a new T is out of the question. i didn't end because of T, i ended because of financial reasons. if i ever to back to therapy (and i hope i can) i will return to my same T. anxiety about sessions was HUGE to say the very least. i literally could not present my true self to T because of my anxiety and issues with authority. he know this, and for me to start all over with a new T is not even something i would consider. you're right, T is a VERY special relationship.

thanks (((Liese))) for your response. i honestly don't know what will help for the obsessiveness. i don't even consider myself to be obsessive, but this is what i am experiencing! can i go back? yes. will it help with the obsession? i rather doubt it. if anything i think it could make it worse, like dragging out the inevitable, you know? it is something i need to work on in therapy with a T. trouble is, i'm broke and insurance sucks.

(((outsider))) that helps to know that it was a good year before you started feeling relief.

i'm beer affected right now, so if i'm short and dismissive i apologize. i really do appreciate everyones' input. gracias, from the bottom of my heart. <3

((( Cat ))), that actually helps a lot, thanks so much for sharing your experience and the experience fo your therapist. it helps to normalize what i'm going through, and not feel so freakish.