Kats,

I'm sorry that you are going through this painful experience. Sometimes we get stuck on a thought and we just continue to make it worse by stewing over it. I am positive that your T and Dr. do not find you annoying. They would never have entered their field if they did not have genuine compassion for all of the different issues that humans have. You need to give both of them the chance to tell you this. You especially need to tell your T tomorrow how you feel so that she can reassure you that she does not think any such thing of you. I have gone through this many times with my T and she first of all reminds me that I can't read her mind, and I need to ask her to tell me how she feels about me. She also says that I need to "check in" with her when I am thinking that I know what she thinks of me. Especially when it is not positive.

I hope you have a great session tomorrow and I know that if you take the very courageous step of telling her how you feel, you will find amazing relief. And relief, even if it is for a short time, is worth the pain of getting there.
PL

Kats -

I'm sorry you didn't get a response from your T, it is so frustrating! If I had to guess, though, I'd guess that her not returning your voice mail was no reflection on you. The only way to ease your mind, though, would be to ask her.

My T is working with me on how I worry about what everyone else thinks or how they will react to what I do or say. I write down what I do or say, and then I write about my worries about how everyone else will respond. Then I keep writing about what their real response was. It's been quite eye opening. Most times I find I worry way too much and that usually I am wrong.

Is the doctor you went to see Friday the medical doctor? The one who's office called you and told you to come in on Friday? I hope everything went OK and I hope that you will tell this doctor about the other problem you have been having. It's so important to take care of your health or it will become more of a bother, which is exactly the opposite of what you want to happen.

Good luck with your T tomorrow. I hope you decide to ask her how she really feels about you and that you find the relief you need.

I was recently given some great advice on how to go about our therapy and about what our bodies and our nervous systems are going through as we are letting go of addiction and I’d like to share it with you.

Because we’ve given up addiction we are learning to feel what we used to drown with alcohol we don’t have the usual way of coping and we are getting flooded. This can feel very overwhelming and we need to give ourselves a break even in therapy, to allow room to explore more positive memories and feelings, to focus on imagery work and our positive relationship with our T.

I think after a long break you need to get reacquainted with your T. Just bask in her presence. Send her an email of “the proverbial list” we’ve been discussing and any negative things that you have been experiencing, but try to eliminate the need to force everything into one session. That way it’s out there with the email and you have room to focus on the most vital things going on in your life. And I know with what you are going through with your health; you should definitely reach out to her for her support. Allow her to show you that even though this relationship has boundaries, it has no limit to its depth where it already exists. I found when I had that breast cancer scare, I was so amazed and touched that my T really cared. I almost did not share with her what was going on with me and when I told her that she was floored. She couldn’t believe that I would withhold that information from her. I told her I didn’t think it mattered and I was probably making a bigger deal out of it than it was. She said, “No your not! This IS a big deal and I want to know about it.”

And if I had a nickel for every time I worried about annoying my T, I’d be set to pay for therapy for the rest of my life. Not to mention how many times I have read everyone else’s’ posts on that from time to time too. So just take tomorrow as it comes and let your T guide you through it. My T tried to but I charged through it and that’s why I didn’t have a fulfilling session.

But by all means tell he what’s going on with your health. She needs to know and I’m sure she wants to know.

Let us know how it goes for you!

You Ladies are so nice to me. I don't know what to day other than it is so nice to be someplace where people understand what is going on in my mind.

I am so grateful to all yur responses.

I really hope she will not ask me to leave or question my calling. I really just needed to hear her and have her tell me it was all going to be allright.

I don't trust anyone right now except her and it scares me as every time iI trust someone I ruin it.


Thank you for letting me share.

Kats

Kats

When I thought that my T would "dump" me because of something I did, she told me that the only time she EVER let a client go was if that person was abusive and frightened her. I am sure that your T feels the same way, and I can't imagine that she would come anywhere close to thinking anything like that of you. You are hurting right now and she will understand that.

Go slowly tomorrow and trust her to help you. There is no way that you can ruin this, she will want to do all she can to relieve your pain.

PL

Kats- I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and that I hope your session goes well today, and as you reconnect with your T and talk about what's going on with you right now, that you will feel complete attunement and her deep caring for you.

Please let us know how it goes.
JM

Hi Kats - just wanted to check in this morning and let you know I'm thinking of you and hoping your session goes well today.

OW