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Old T vs Current T

divadivaMember
So basically I feel like I cheated on my T. I don't know why it's affecting me now, but it is. Anyhow, sometime last week I got together with my old T just to sort of catch up on things. I had really missed her and I was glad she agreed to meeet with me (she's not one of those "once a client always a client" type of Ts). Our little meeting went great and it was so great to see her and she was so happy that I was off at school pursuing my goals and that I was doing well with my current T. This is where the confusion starts...

After I had met with old T, things at home were pretty ok. Now, they're back to being extremely stressful and I've been avoiding being at home as much as possible because of how much anxiety and depression I feel when Im there. Like most us, when things get tough, we wo normally would want to turn to our Ts for support right? Well in my case, I did want to turn to my T...but not my current T, my old one. I absolutely adore current T, but for some odd reason, I want to run to old T with everything and invest all my emotions and trust with her again. Basically I'm torn between the two of em right now. Is weird cos when I started with current T, I of course felt the usual apprehensiveness towards her cos I didn't know her and she hadn't earned my trust yet and I would talk a lot about old T and how much I missed her (current T even offered if she could be more like old T in any way to see if it would help). Soon enough though, I began to trust current T for who she was and put more trust in her than I ever did in old T. But ever since I met with old T, it's like I got those old feelings back for her. I sound so crazy right now cos I feel like I'm talking about one of my ex boyfriends or something lol. This is making me less excited and happy to see current T next week and more stressed and nervous. Should I tell current T about seeing old T and how I wanted to go back to her? I want to say that it'll all go away once I actually see current T but i just don't know. It's weird cos I've met with old T before a few times since I stooped seeing her 3 years ago and never had that intense longing for her like I do now. I hope current T won't "break up with me" if I decide to tell her ha freaking ha!
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H hoosierMember
Could part of what is going on be that you are avoiding investing into your relationship with your new T? You don't say why you ended with your old T before but it doesn't sound acrimonious. When I decided to start seeing my new T, I thought I would be able to actually slowly wean myself off my old T. But my new T said she didn't like that because she thought it could be a way for me to avoid investing totally in either one of them. And she was right. I had a long relationship with my old T but she didn't observe boundaries very well. Indeed, she and I had dinner not too long ago and she talked about how much she valued my friendship which is weird for a T to say. I too felt like I was cheating on new T but when I did confess to her, she was very understanding though she pointed out how those blurred boundaries were impacting me. I suggest you talk to your new T about your dinner and the feelings that invoked for you. I bet you will find some interesting insight into why you want to retreat back to your old T. Just my two cents worth. Good luck.
divadivaMember
Thanks for your input! I guess maybe the reason I still do miss old T a lot at times is because I wasn't my choice to leave her. I was in a program where the government paid for my counseling but it only lasted until I turned 18. Even then, I had to leave her a month before I actually turned 18 cos old T had quit working there and was in her own practice. I wanted to continue with her, but we just couldn't afford it. Frowner

I feel like I have invested a lot in new T which is why I'm confused as to why I have this intense longing for old T again. Maybe it's unfinished business of some sort since we didn't get to have a good bye session of any sort. Frowner Now I know I will definitely mention this to new T. Thanks a bunch!

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