((((((Athenacus)))))

I remember that feeling of only having one session left with my T and the feelings that that stirred up in me.

I am glad that your major issues have been resolved and that you now have the chance to discuss your shared interest. Is it possible to ask for more sessions if you need to?

Ending such a meanigful relationship is always hard to do but it sounds like you have learnt a lot and really grown as a person as a result. I think I read somewhere that you would be working in the same practice as your T so I am assuming that you will now embark on a different type of relationship with her.

I hope you can get what you want from your last session.

Hugs
Butterfly

What about maintaining a relationship outside of therapy? If she is mentoring you and teaching you as you work towards your goal as a therapist, why not ask if you can continue that with her? Does that sound like something you could ask her? My T does not have near as strict boundaries as others that I have read about so that seems like it would be ok to ask for me....what do you think? I really dislike the boundary thing. Its so hard b/c we are human, we build relationships and come to care about each other and then we are just supposed to end it abruptly....its so strange. So, can you share that with her? Ask her that?

Thank you for responding, Kmay and Butterfly.

At my previous session w/T we discussed a bit about me applying for an internship two years from now at the clinic she works at. She did say that I could never be an actual employee there though. She was unsure of the ethics and her clinic's guidelines on the internship process either. She said it was a question for her supervisor. There are other complications to that as well. Other potential multiple relationships and/or boundary crossings with other therapists in the office and family members. T started mentioning other places in the area that I could intern at.
She confuses me sometimes. She'll say one thing during one session and then back peddle at the next session. One time she said she saw our relationship more like a mentorship and I could call her for help on homework, if I needed to. At another session when I asked for clarification on boundaries she said that she isn't going out to lunch with me or any boundary violations like that. If I run into her in the community, we are chit chatting and that is it. If I need help on homework, I could call her briefly (no clarification on briefly), but that was it. I've tried to get her to narrow down when I can and cannot call her, but she doesn't give me a straight answer. I've only called her 3 times in the last two and a half years. The last one was just a message to simply say thank you. She's also told me that she is not holding my hand through my professional career, which I responded to her that I know that. I was stunned at her statement though seeing as how in previous sessions she had mentioned that we have more of a mentor relationship. I was about to talk about a difficult thing that was going on with me that day. Her statement made it even harder for me to open up.
T has also been wonderful, warm, kind and supportive through many of my sessions, so it hasn't been all bad. T has her own personal issues that I think enter into the therapy room.
Not every session has been great and we've both had "off" days. I believe that's to be expected.

Anyway, as of right now I have one more session left. I've been crying on and off for the last week or two thinking about this.

Well, I need to refocus for the day, get some homework done and go to work.

thanks for reading!

Tomorrow is it!




I can do this, I can do this!

I'll update you all over the weekend.

Oh ya...I read this article and I cried and thought about how much I don't want to leave T and I want this type of relationship....

http://ct.counseling.org/2009/...toring-relationship/

Athenacus, all the best with your final session today. I think you’ve been exceptionally level headed and courageous about this, and I really hope the session goes well for you.

LL

good luck with you session today, Athenacus!

Hope it goes well today

Luci

Thank you all for the hugs and well wishes! You all are amazing!

My session was wonderful and full of mixed emotions for me. I didn't cry like I thought I would though. We had a great time reminiscing about past sessions or particular areas we covered over several sessions. I told her what I enjoyed as well as somethings that annoyed me or bothered me about our time together. I asked for a hug after our session as we were stepping outside her office. She gave me a nice, warm, and beautiful embrace! I wish I could get another hug right now actually.

During our session T reminded me that she'll still see me and say hi if I'm around the clinic with my kids seeing their T. She also mentioned again that if I happen to run into her at a particular place on a certain day of the week (she's told me where and approx. when and what she eats), that we can say hi. Of course, it's only chit chat. In some way it's comforting to know that she is around and I could probably find her if I needed something.
I must say I've also tried to help my T too in sessions. I've given her some resources and recommendations on various items for herself or for other clients. We've enjoyed sharing with each other over the last 2.5 years.

God, I miss that woman!


Next week I am going to find a new T, that I can see for free through my school. My prof (a T and T educator) suggested I seek help due to my panic getting in the way of my midterm exam.

Thanks for checking, Draggers!

I've been in tears on and off mainly because for one of my classes I'm required to read about CSA, SA, other childhood abuse, and domestic violence/abuse. It's very triggering. I suppose it doesn't help that I have PMS, nightmares, some minor panic attacks and don't have another T just yet. I'm calling tomorrow to find a new T.
On a good note...I'm probably jinxing this...my ex husband hasn't been too bad lately. Usually he harasses me by e-mail, phone or in person when picking up the kids.
Also, I've had some great conversations with friends and family lately, who have surrounded me with their warmth and love, so that always helps!
I do miss my T. I just picture her in my head and try to remember the feel of her hug.
In a couple of weeks one of my kids will be at their T appointment in the same clinic, so I might catch a glimpse of her.

Thanks for checking on me!