...
Original Post
Replies sorted oldest to newest
((((BROKES)))))
Oh my gosh, I've done things like that, Brokes. You are not alone. Can you talk to new T about it? When do you see New T again? Even though OldT is a T, I just don't have any faith in her sensitivity as a human being.
But I don't blame you for being angry. I'd be angry too. And you did deserve more. You deserved a lot more.
((((HUGS)))))
Liese
Oh my gosh, I've done things like that, Brokes. You are not alone. Can you talk to new T about it? When do you see New T again? Even though OldT is a T, I just don't have any faith in her sensitivity as a human being.
But I don't blame you for being angry. I'd be angry too. And you did deserve more. You deserved a lot more.
((((HUGS)))))
Liese
Hi Brokes,
I would be very angry too. You have every right to be angry and to express it to OldT. I actually think its good that she knows from your message how you feel and how her choices hurt you. Even if she never responds, at least you know inside that you said it to her. She may choose to remain silent, but that doesn't mean she gets to completely silence you. She has less power over you if your anger is expressed. Just think how strong you are! She can't take away your ability to express how you feel after all. There is still pain in it, yes. I hope you will be able to keep talking more about that pain to NewT. I sincerely hope she doesn't have the same deficiencies as OldT.
I would be very angry too. You have every right to be angry and to express it to OldT. I actually think its good that she knows from your message how you feel and how her choices hurt you. Even if she never responds, at least you know inside that you said it to her. She may choose to remain silent, but that doesn't mean she gets to completely silence you. She has less power over you if your anger is expressed. Just think how strong you are! She can't take away your ability to express how you feel after all. There is still pain in it, yes. I hope you will be able to keep talking more about that pain to NewT. I sincerely hope she doesn't have the same deficiencies as OldT.
Hey Brokes,
This reminds me so much of a relationship I had...not with a former T, but someone I met online who set herself up as knowing a lot about healing, attachment, etc. She supported me and acted like a substitute mother for around two years. Then she told me I was manipulative and that she didn't want to hear from me anymore until I had something "important" to say. Basically she totally dumped me.
I didn't find out until a year later that she had done basically the same exact thing to at least three other people. She set herself up as someone very evolved and caring, but the truth is she was using people like me to project all her own issues and avoid dealing with obvious stuff from her childhood that she had never addressed.
Well, you would think after all this that I would just be relieved to never have to talk to this person again. No. I still have really complicated feelings about her, and when I first started seeing my T, I couldn't trust her at all because there was so much transference there from this other person. I have never told her just exactly what I think about her, but I think someday I might have to, just to get closure. Even though I know that she won't listen and it won't accomplish anything.
Both of us got burned but at least we found someone competent now to help us deal with these past issues.
This reminds me so much of a relationship I had...not with a former T, but someone I met online who set herself up as knowing a lot about healing, attachment, etc. She supported me and acted like a substitute mother for around two years. Then she told me I was manipulative and that she didn't want to hear from me anymore until I had something "important" to say. Basically she totally dumped me.
I didn't find out until a year later that she had done basically the same exact thing to at least three other people. She set herself up as someone very evolved and caring, but the truth is she was using people like me to project all her own issues and avoid dealing with obvious stuff from her childhood that she had never addressed.
Well, you would think after all this that I would just be relieved to never have to talk to this person again. No. I still have really complicated feelings about her, and when I first started seeing my T, I couldn't trust her at all because there was so much transference there from this other person. I have never told her just exactly what I think about her, but I think someday I might have to, just to get closure. Even though I know that she won't listen and it won't accomplish anything.
Both of us got burned but at least we found someone competent now to help us deal with these past issues.
Dear Brokes
I´m really sorry to hear about your loss.
I know how much it can hurt...
I´m in deep pain for the loss of my T. I quit therapy on the 16th of December.
Sooo many times since then I´ve thought about e-mailing her. I think you were brave to actually do that, even though you knew that you might get hurt if she never responds. You were willing to take that risk. And it was good that you could express your feelings for her, and how this abandonment makes you feel.
I´m glad that you have found a new T.
She sounds really nice and wise. Wish you the best in learning to trust her and to attach!!!
Hugs to you!
- Little me
I´m really sorry to hear about your loss.
I know how much it can hurt...
I´m in deep pain for the loss of my T. I quit therapy on the 16th of December.
Sooo many times since then I´ve thought about e-mailing her. I think you were brave to actually do that, even though you knew that you might get hurt if she never responds. You were willing to take that risk. And it was good that you could express your feelings for her, and how this abandonment makes you feel.
I´m glad that you have found a new T.
She sounds really nice and wise. Wish you the best in learning to trust her and to attach!!!
Hugs to you!
- Little me