Lucy_G, don't do it if you can afford to go once a week and you want to. It's your time and money. I know it's hard but tell her exactly what you said in this post. Ask her why she wants you to go every two weeks. Sounds like she is reading you wrong. Remember you're the boss.

Hi all,

Thank you for your replies

Becca- Thanks for posting, Youre right I know, but find it really hard to let people know what I want and need, especially my T, she's great BUT just still cant tell her what Id like to do. Silly I know!

Dragonfly- Thanks for the reply, Sorry to hear you have experience the same thing, did your T tell you that she was reducing the sessions to lessen the dependancy or just spring it on you with no explanation? how long did this last for and did it work?
I totally hear what youre saying when you say when your T suggested a break- you felt she had had enough of you, I feel that too Did you speak with your T about this feeling?

Blanket girl- Thanks for replying, Again I know youre right, I do need to ask her why she thinks reducing the sessions is a good idea, I know its not a money issue as my therapy is free- through my workplace!!
How do you find having sessions every other week? I think I may find it difficult to re-engage with T and just start chit/chat etc....

After reading your responses I guess Ive really got to ask her why she suggested this?
so far ive got:
- Not a money issue, therapy is free through my workplace.
- Might be a time issue (for her) I know she is very busy. I have ever since day one said if she gets too busy just say and I'll leave, I have an issue with feeling im important enough to have therapy and that someone else is more worthy- something my T told me I do- hahaha the irony she has taken me up on the offer now as she is to busy! Im so stupid!
- She's bored of me, finds me annoying etc....

Oh i dont know! Ive been seeing her for about 5 months....have opened up a little but not much, its really difficult! Im becoming slightly more trusting of her (well maybe not right now!) and have issues with intimacy (not sexually/physically, more emotionaly)(something she has worked out and told me!) Maybe she is testing me, to see how id react to her suggession? Do T's do this??!?!?

eurgh Therapy can be so confusing!! Ive got to ring her later to let her know my decision!!!! EEK! HELP!
Lucy x x x x

hi lucy_g! dont think we've 'met' yet so nice to meet you
that sounds so hard to deal with, for her to suggest this out of the blue with no feedback from you that this would be what you want! i wonder whether the type of therapy she provides is more of a brief / time limited therapy to sort out some short term issues/symptoms? did you discuss anything like this in the beginning - what you came to see her for / how long was she available / how long did she think it would take etc... ?

i think you are right to ask her those questions and talk it through with her. i am just surprised she would come up with this out of nowhere. maybe if she is more of a short term type of T and you think you need someone longer term, it might be good to discuss these things now as well and hopefully feel more secure about the future. its hard enough doing therapy, but not knowing how long she'll be there for you will make it near impossible (in my opinion).

i really hope your talk goes well and everything gets cleared up!

oh - i just re-read your post again - she expects you to CALL her and tell her your decision?? that's really tough! i think this kind of talk would be better in a session, as it seems there is a lot to go through. do you think you'll be able to maybe call her and tell her that you'd rather discuss it in person - or whatever you think its best for you. but i just think she's put you on the spot and is putting too much pressure on you.

whatever you decide hope it goes well!

puppet

Sometimes t's get worried about therapy fatigue too. If the process has been hard for sometime, I think it's typical to talk about slowing things down a bit to allow the patient to come back to center, clarify goals again, etc. (And sometimes/often they don't need to have these conversations because the patient him or herself goes through some resistance and takes breaks here and there, which serves the same purpose in the end.)

Definitely tell her what you're feeling though. She needs that information to best understand what you need from her and how she can best support you. I know for me - when I've had problems describing what I feel or want - my T has never guessed right (intentionally probably lol) and we've always just gone in circles until I work up the courage. It's my understanding that many t's don't really go too far with/into the therapy until they have confidence that you can consistently provide relevant info about needs, wants, feelings, etc. Without that, they're kinda in the dark and who wants to work in the dark . She may seeing where you fall along that spectrum right now...

Hi again

Hi Puppet- Nice to meet you too and thankyou for replying to my post

In the beginning she did say that she has a mixed bag of clients, mainly short term but some long term too and that she enjoys the mix of both......?! I wasnt sure what i needed to be honest at the start: long/short term (still dont to be honest!)

Yeh i agree so much with your statement theres no way im going to let my guard down ever if I think she wont be there for me if I need longer therapy etc.... That would be stupid to become so vulnerable knowing that I only had a certain amount of time and then that was it, what eould be the point Id be worse off than befer haha!

Anyway I did call her, didnt get to speak with her a she was busy, so just panicked a bit and left a message with her reception saying sesions every two weeks is fine with me....So thats it a i guess- I'll see her in two weeks argh why i did that i have NO idea! so stupid!

Sunsheen- Thank you for your insights, really interesting, a part of me does actually wonder if she is testing me to see if I'll finally speak up and say NO I really do need you every week and explain why to her....I am sometimes a little closed off in sessions but i have told her I dont mean to do that, just cant help it.....I guess sometime i think shes a mind reader haha! If only she knew! I am still knid of hurt though that she hasnt realised how much ive become to depend on her/therapy

Argh....So confusing! and now im sad cause i dont see her for ages......
Lucy x

quote:

She won't know you're not okay unless you tell her.

This is one of the hardest but most true things about therapy. We wish so badly they could read our minds but 99% of the time they JUST CAN'T. When we are upset about something they said or did, we HAVE TO TELL THEM OR THEY WILL NOT KNOW. And they want to know because they want to help us. Do what it takes. Cover your face and just spit it our, write a note, call her, or send a passenger pigeon but TELL HER

I know it sucks but we've all learned this the hard way!

Hi Lucy_G,
Welcome! I just wanted to put in my thoughts...along the lines of what others are saying. Personally it has taken me a long time to get comfortable with this but I do it a lot...today it worked out well. What I'm saying is there's nothing wrong with changing your mind. If in your next appt. you have found that you really need the once-a-week appt. then just tell her...my lesson in it has been asking for what I need as I have never been one to ask for help. Anyways, I just wanted to add to it since my T has pretty much given me that message.

Hope it goes fast for you!

Hopeful